Heaven // Ryan Tedder

Chapter Twenty-Eight; Apologize

By the time Joshua would be getting off of work, Janelle had done the dishes, dusted, mopped, and organised the pantry. Now that she had finished, she went over and sat down on the couch, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Subconsciously, she almost hoped that she'd have a text from Ryan or something, though she really wasn't sure why. Was she really becoming that obsessed with him? She had a boyfriend for goodness' sake; she shouldn't need anyone else.

As she went through her phone, she got a notification for a new Instagram post. She tapped it, and it redirected her to Ryan's page, to a new story post he made. It was something about working on new music, which made Janelle smile the slightest bit. She hadn't heard all of his band's albums yet, but nevertheless, she would be looking forward to hearing some new songs.

Just then, pulling her out of her thoughts, she heard the front door open, causing her to immediately stand, shutting off her phone and sliding it in the pocket of her jeans.

She watched as Joshua stepped into the room, looking around a little and Seemingly noticing that everything had been cleaned. She swallowed back her nervousness, stepping forward a little.

"Josh.." She mumbled, causing him to look up at her with his icy blue eyes.

He stared at her for a moment, before approaching her. She felt herself involuntarily take a step back, almost fearing that he might hit her again.

He won't, she told herself. He's not like that.

Still looking into her eyes, he bit his lower lip, almost smirking at her. "You're back." He stated.

"Yeah.." she nodded. "I'm back."

"Why?" He questioned.

She swallowed, taking a step closer. "I-I want to talk." She Said quietly.

"Then let's talk." He shrugged. "What do you want?"

He seemed as if he was getting aggressive with her, and she realised that she no longer wanted to be there in that situation. She wished she was back at Ryan's, or even Abby's, safe from Joshua. After yesterday, she had no idea what he might do to her, especially if he knew she'd keep coming back, no matter how angry he got with her.

She tried to push back the fear in her chest, taking a deep breath. "I want to talk about us." She Said. "I need to know if you still love me."

He scoffed. "What do you think? I pay your rent, I buy you food." He carried on. "Heaven knows I'm the only man that's ever done that for you."

"Answer my question;" she looked into his eyes. "Do you love me?"

"I think I should be asking you that question." He muttered, stepping forward.

Before she had a chance to move away from him, he grabbed both of her wrists, getting up in her face.

"I know you've been cheating on me." He growled. "You smell like cologne. Where were you?"

Shit, she thought. It must've been from when she hugged Ryan before she left.

"I was at Abby's!" She cried, attempting to pull away from him.

"Liar!" He Shouted. "Is it that Ryan?"

"No!" She struggled, trying to free herself from his grip. "I swear, I was at Abby's!"

"You think you can cheat and lie to me? After all I've done for you?" He spat.

"Let go of me!" Janelle cried, causing him to slap her with the back of his hand.

She fell onto the couch, and he reached down, pulling her up by her hair.

"You little slut! Just couldn't keep your hands off of him?" He got up in her face, making her realise that his breath reeked of alcohol. He had been drinking. No wonder he was so quick to anger.

"You're drinking now?" Janelle Shouted weakly.

"That's none of your business." He growled, throwing her down on the hardwood floor roughly.

She tried to back away from him, but he stepped on her hand, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Josh, Stop!" She felt tears begin to fill her eyes. She would've never imagined that he'd do this to her, not in a million years. She should've listened to everybody and just left him. Why did she keep giving him chances?

He lifted up his foot, before picking her up by her hair again. She lifted up her hands to try and loosen his grip on her, but it was no use. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at him with wide, fearful eyes, wishing Ryan could be here to save her. Wishing she hadn't left. Maybe she'd be intruding in his space, but at least she'd be safe. Now, who knows what Joshua would do to her. She knew he wouldn't kill her; that would ruin his reputation. Yet, he could hurt her all he wanted, because he knew she'd never tell. She was too afraid to tell anyone of the things he did.

Her brother was right. What had happened to the old her, the one that said she'd never let a man hurt or disrespect her? The one that said she'd run at the first red flag. Where had she gone? She knew for a fact she wasn't herself anymore; Joshua had brainwashed her to believe that she was his, that she was nothing without him.

But now, she saw it. She understood what he was doing. He was manipulative, deceitful, a liar. Yet, he was all she had. She'd have to make the painful decision to leave him, and risk never finding love.

Ryan, she told herself.

He had cared about her. She barely knew him, yet, he cared so much about saving her from her broken relationship. Maybe it wasn't just pity; he had tried so hard, bringing her coffees, talking with her, texting her. Perhaps he didn't pity her. Perhaps he was trying because he wanted her to be his.

She shook off the thought, looking back into Joshua's icy blue eyes, wishing she could replace them with Ryan's soft greens.

Joshua ended up dragging her into their bedroom, which made her fear what he may be doing next, although he only threw her to the floor, giving her a harsh glare, before turning to leave.

"Where are you going?" She Asked, her voice small and weak as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"For a drink." He growled, before leaving the room.

Only seconds later, She heard the front door slam loudly. She laid there on the floor tears streaming down her face as she sobbed quietly, pulling her knees to her chest.

She stayed like that for minutes, before she made a mental plan for herself. She'd pack a few things, some clothes, important objects, then get a taxi.

Go To Ryan's, she told herself.

She wanted to feel safe, and Ryan was the only person that could make her feel that way.