Heaven // Ryan Tedder

Chapter Thirty-Eight; Someday

That night, things were just as awkward as always. Ryan wished he could embrace Janelle, professing his love for her once again, in case it didn't fully sink in the first time. Only, he just stood there in front of her, in his pajamas, absolutely silent.

He looked up into her blue eyes as he chewed the inside of his cheek, words refusing to come from his mouth, although his mind was racing; heaven knows she was killing him.

When he finally found the words to say, he swallowed, running a hand through his hair. "You're helping Abby pick out a dress tomorrow, right?" He asked, to which she nodded.

"Yeah. She's going to pick me up around noon." She Said, lifting up her hand to twirl a strand of her hair around her finger.

He nodded. "And the wedding is.."

"Saturday." Janelle Said, before smiling a little. "You know, I'm glad you're coming."

He smiled back, feeling his heart skip a beat. "Really?"

"Of course." She nodded, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "It'll be nice to go with someone."

He gazed into her ocean-blue eyes for a moment, before they both averted their eyes to the floor, as the atmosphere went silent once again.

Say something, Ryan's mind urged him, yet he kept his mouth shut. He didn't know if this was the right time; if there even was a right time.

Janelle glanced up at him, and he lifted his head to see that her gaze was fixated on the side of his head, where the wound from Joshua had yet to heal.

"How's your head?" She Asked quietly, causing him to lift his hand, brushing his fingers over the wound gently.

"Better," He said. "Not healed, but better."

She nodded. "Good.." she mumbled, looking back down at her feet. "I guess I should go to bed."

He nodded. "Yeah, me too."

They stood there for a moment, before he hesitantly held out his arms for a hug. She looked at him for a second, but stepped into his embrace, letting him wrap his arms around her.

He rubbed her back lovingly, giving her a light squeeze. "Goodnight, Janelle."

"Goodnight, Ryan."

When she let go, part of Ryan wanted to pull her back and hold onto her for longer, however, he remained composed, as she gave him a final smile, before turning and walking into her room.

He swallowed, looking down at his feet for a moment, before turning and going into his own bedroom. He propped the door shut, pulling off his pajama pants, leaving him in only a T-shirt and boxers, before he crawled into bed, pulling the blankets to his chin as he buried his face in his pillow.

His mind swirled with thoughts of Janelle, that, try as he might, he could not silence. He shouldn't be so anxious anymore; she was living with him, after all. Only, he just didn't want to lose his chance. Perhaps he'd have to repeat it to her; he loved her.

Only, maybe she was just afraid to love him back.

The next day, Abby picked Janelle up just after noon, and the two headed to the dress shop, where Abby would finalise which dress she would wear for her wedding. As always, Abby was talkative, especially excited to show Janelle the dresses she had chosen.

Janelle, however, was far too distracted by her racing thoughts to hear everything that her best friend was saying. Something had been off about Ryan ever since she moved in with him. His demeanour seemed to change dramatically, and she couldn't help but wonder why.