『JenSoo Short Stories』

Broke your heart, I'll put it back together (3/3)

When days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and Jisoo still hadn't heard from Jennie, Jisoo realized she finally lost her for good. Jisoo realized that maybe she should've taken Chaeyoung's advice, but she had put it off so much that now it had been months and who was to say that Jennie hadn't already found someone new? Someone who actually loved her.

The thought caused Jisoo to finally bawl her eyes out, exactly three months after Jennie left. Jisoo let herself feel all the pain and hurt, savoring every little twinge in her heart because she deserved it all. She hurt Jennie, she didn't deserve anything good anymore.

Lisa pulled her out of bed, telling her to get her shit together and usually Jisoo was never the one to dwell on things—once you fall, you get back up. But this time it was different. Jisoo felt that it was it. How could she recover from all this hurt when all she wanted was Jennie's smile back? Jisoo thought that if she were given a choice, she would rather lose a business deal than to lose Jennie—that was how important Jennie was to her. Jisoo knew she was dumb to not realize it sooner.

Despite Jisoo's complete despair about the whole thing, Lisa was adamant that Jisoo could do something about it. Lisa was the one who told her to woman up and chase after her girl and "Seriously, Chu? I know I said you're terrible at romance but don't let that define you?! Do something!" 

One night, Jisoo decided to go for a drink at a pub near her office. No one was there except for her and one bartender. It was nice, Jisoo could drink as much as she wanted without any judgement from anyone, and most importantly, she could think.

Jisoo had a list and it went something like this:

- Do I love Jennie? 

- Can I get Jennie back

- Do I even deserve Jennie back 

- Am I in love with Jennie

- Does Jennie still love me

- How can Jennie be so perfect

- Do. I. Love. Her

Jisoo was brooding and drowning in her sorrows, everything seemed so wrong. It all seemed so difficult and it took hours of being alone, surrounded by alcohol, for Jisoo to finally realize that—it was actually simple.

Well, the drink definitely helped, but a song was playing on the speakers and Jisoo would think that it was odd for a Taylor Swift song to be playing there if it weren't for the fact that she was the only customer that night and the barista probably just didn't care about his song choices.

"Let me get this straight," Lisa said slowly, sipping on her coffee. It was the morning after and a Saturday, Lisa was always at Jisoo's at 7 a.m. "You had an epiphany... because of a song you heard?"

"Yes," Jisoo nodded. "It's actually very simple, Lis."

"Very simple...?"

"This whole thing. I'm in love with Jennie." Lisa choked on her coffee and Jisoo patted her back. "A shocker," Jisoo grimaced at Lisa's coughs. "I know."

"What kind of song led you to this conclusion?" 

"Taylor Swift."

"No fucking way."

"What?" Jisoo shrugged. "Kissing on sidewalks, light-hearted jokes, coffees at midnight... they're all simple things but it's who you're with that makes it so special. And I had all the things that the song mentioned with Jennie, and they meant a lot to me—even though these things seem trivial, I cherish them a lot because I felt happy  and- and in love. I get it now."