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Chapter 46- success

My very pale looking opened heavy glossed up eyelids slowly closed let themselves down before I had both of my eyelids forced to be squeezed tightly together as tears welled up behind them in a clear sight of pain for being entirely worthless. My tiny bleeding distasteful pale hands were gripping onto the strong top roots of my dark black mid night hair as a dark red gaze mark was left behind on my forehead from my 'fall' at my school

My breathing came out in short parted breaths as my chest heaved up and down heavily for not being able to control my pain. My shaken shoulders where slightly shaking up and down while I had pulled my dried up destroyed lips in between my teeth to hold back the loud cries of pain from being heard from anyones ear rang

My throbbing busted opened head was spinning lightly around in scary dark places in my mind that I didn't even know existed up until now. Ripped open bottom lip smacked together as a stray tear fell down from my clenched tight eyelids as more pain coursed throughout my small crunched body

As I sat my ass against the wall all hunched up and a huge mess for me to gather my thoughts all alone. All I wanted for myself to feel again was for my mom to come home rushing from her work and allow her to wrap her big arms around me as she comforted me and whispered sweet nothings into my ear until I stopped crying or feeling weak

"Honey, Y/n? Are you home sweetheart?" Hearing the sweet angelic voice of my mother only caused my body to slight come at easy but worried that she might laugh at me being a weak ass of a daughter from crying over for being bullied and pushed around because I was considered ugly and fat in my school "Y/n-ah?" Her sing sing voice caused another tear to roll down my dried cheeks as my grip on my knotted hair loosened the slightest bit, but my hands didn't fall back down to my sides

I wanted to shout out to my mom and tell her that I'm in my room in pain but I held myself back and just sat there, hoping that she will forget about me somehow for sometime

The light clicking of heels hitting of the marble stairs of our spacious home alarmed me that my mom was walking up the stairs, looking for me. Her worthless daughter that she might secretly despise but is forced to show affection for her own benefit but I knew my mom wasn't like that kind of person

"Can I come in, honey?" Her honey like voice was right outside of my double door closed bedroom doors  and I pushed myself even more tightly against the roughy soft surface of the cold wall of my four big corners of my room that me and my dad Designed together

It took both me and my Appa nearly eight long ass months discussing over what theme I wanted in my room. Where I wanted my band postered to be placed on the mint green coloured walls of my soft spacious room. Plus the furniture that both my parents had to buy my two other brothers was a lot for them to handle but they always made sure that we were all happy with what they provide us

They are the best parents a ten year old could ever ask herself for. They were my happiness and life and I lived to make them proud of me but mom said that I don't have to ever do anything for them to be proud of me because just me being alive is enough for them to be proud of me

"Eomma..." I pulled my lips out of my mouth as I called out for my mother who stood behind my wooden bedroom doors "Eomma." I called for her again desperately holding back my cries so I don't upset her more then she might be when she sees her only daughter on the floor in pain

But all my body and heart wanted for me to do was call out to my mother again,,wanting her to end my pain and just -let her- wrap me up in her arms. Smooching my face with her little forehead kisses

My eyes flung open when the sudden sound of my bedroom door being opened reached my hyper sensitive ear rang, causing my green pale eyes to bulk out of their small sockets as the stared wide-eyed at my mother with anxiety piercing through my veins. Lips parted with dark wet lashes, shoulders dropped and knees still pressed tightly into my stomach as I stared up at my beloved Mom