The easiest thing everyone does is judge others. We always see bad in others and rarely take a look at ourselves. Like everybody else, I don't like to look at my flaws and I don't like working on them either. It's much easier to just overlook our flaws.
One of the reasons I started writing is to write down what I feel since I have a problem with showing my feelings. It's so much easier to control imaginary people in an imaginary world. In my stories (in my head). everything revolves around the main characters and conditions are always perfect- their parents aren't home, problems are easily solvable, their friends rarely have flaws, just like themselves. The action is given (I imagine the whole story) before I write. That way I'm in control of everything and everyone.
The problem with this is that I'm always in my head and everything there is pretty much perfect. As a consequence of always being in my head, I overthink. When there's an event coming I unwillingly think about it and imagine what could happen. Usually, an event in my head is perfect, or a complete disaster, which is rarely realistic.
Taking all of that, it's not a surprise that I'm not good in relationships. I never know how to talk about my feelings, which is why I write- papers (books) don't judge while people do. I always thought my stories are so unreal and there's no way of anything even similar happening to me. But the thing that all of my stories have in common is caring about someone and there is someone that cares about me (I think).
And obviously, I care about that someone too, but the problem is that I don't know how to express that, which is a perfect way to repel that person.
So... the point of this I guess is that I have a problem(s). I don't like expressing my feelings, I just ignore them and I got used to it. So even if someone hurts me, I choose to ignore that because that's the easiest way. But when I hurt someone I feel really bad and I can't help but hate myself.
Anyways, there's not a real point in this story, it's just my way to express what I currently feel ♥
YOU ARE READING
Random thoughts
RandomThis will be some kind of my personal diary where I'll write about things that happened to me or my friends, or just my thoughts througout the day. It probably won't be updated much or interesting.
