Random thoughts

Him

: Yeah, I don't know the dates. I can't remember the exact day or hour when we first met, when you first kissed me, when we went on our first date, when you brought me a gift for the first time, our first sleepover... But I know other things that matter. I know how you looked at me for the first time and told your friends I was beautiful. I remember when we talked for the first time- your smile couldn't be wider because you felt like all your dreams were coming true. When I told you I didn't want your jacket although I was cold because I knew you would be cold... you asked me where did I come from because you never met someone like me. And the first time we kissed? It was Saturday and we went to the movies. I was texting my Jessica I hope something happens between us and it did- you kissed me minutes after, at the park, and pretended it wasn't a big deal, but I heard your heart beating faster than mine. The way your eyes shine when you see me and Gabby, the pitch of guilt in them when she hugs you, the jealousy in your eyes when I hug Jason. I adore the way you try to smirk when I look hot, but you just smile because you appreciate and love me too much to just smirk coldly. And when I open the doors for you and you bow every time as a princess because you actually are one...
: Hey!

I smile looking at him still standing in the distance.

And when you gently push me in front of you, so others don't see you're a princess. And then, when I get lost in the crowd you recognize it and guide me with your hand on my lower back. Or when you have a bad day and you just wanna lie in bed and do nothing so that's exactly what we do. Or when I have a bad day, so we stay in despite you want to go out. And when we go out and you're telling your friends about me... it's like you're talking about an angel- I never felt so good about myself. And when we go shopping. Sometimes you're so tired you can't stand, but you do... because of me. I love the way you're looking at me trying on dresses and keep smiling and telling me I look good in all of them although I really don't. Or when you want to whisper me a joke, but you can't because you're still laughing. The same goes for me... you laugh no matter how stupid the joke is. Sometimes you laugh when you shouldn't- when I fall, for example, but I do the same. Remember that summer when I was sick and couldn't go to that beach party we planned? You still went, realized how boring it is without me, and came back at 1 am bringing me tea and snacks. You snuck to my window telling me you weren't ready to meet my parents. I don't remember the date, but I remember you left the party because of me. I also remember you got sick 3 days later even though you said you wouldn't. And the way you hold me when you feel threatened... that guy from Jessica's birthday? The hug you gave me from the back, just to show him I'm yours. And that girl from New year's eve? 10 seconds, everybody counting down when she asked you to kiss her... then we hit zero and you kissed me instead. Oh, and that time everything just went wrong and you cried in front of me. It was Sunday and you just left after that, not answering my calls or texts for three days! Then I went to see what was going on and you thought I wouldn't like you anymore... just because I saw your tears. And when we had sex for the first time?
: No, don't... mention that.

He says while taking a few steps toward me.

: Yeah, yeah. So "confident" your voice was shaking. I wasn't sure you wanted it.

He smiles in embarrassment- his cheeks turning red.

And that right there! When you're embarrassed but you don't have to be because you've done nothing wrong. You've always been so harsh on yourself and too good to me. I remember when I told you to lie down and watch starts with me and you said it was ridiculous, but you were the one suggesting that the next time. And when we watch a movie and I put my head on your chest and feel you breathe... it all seems so right when I'm with you. I can recall the sound of your laugh, your voice, your eyes, your touch, and your scent, whenever I want. I can still get lost in your brown eyes with green trails on their edges, just like I was lost the first time we went on a real date. I could recognize your smile, your hair, and your scent among thousands of others.

He starts walking towards me and I step back hitting the wall behind me. His body is against mine as he's looking me in my eyes.

: And I'm scared.

"Of what?" he whispers.

: Of myself. I'm scared because I look at you as if you're a God. My God. And I'm afraid of what am I capable of to keep you. I would destroy myself to make you happy. And if necessary, I would leave, just to see you smile. Because that's how much I love you. I'd do anything to make you happy. Maybe I'll even remember those dates you want me to.

He smiles and wraps his hands around my waist. I put my hands around his neck and want this moment to last forever.

: I love you.

Those words are everything to me... I kiss him.

:I love you too.