Random thoughts

Part 7

Dear ******

I've been in love for so long now. It used to be a wonderful feeling, butterflies in my stomach every time I see you. With time the feeling turned into a pain. Seeing you with your girlfriend made me jealous, but then I thought about it... If you're happy, I'm happy. Now the feeling completely disappeared. I got used to texting you, seeing you out somewhere, and feeling everything. I'm confused, I don't know what to feel or what to do, but I got used to the feeling by now. Like a lot of others, I would do anything to be with you, at least that's what I used to think. Now, I think I should get away from you, but I know that's not possible because I'm not strong enough.
At least I have a story- to others, boring story because not much was happening, but for me, an exciting story because of all the feelings I get when I see you. My friend told me that it all sounds like bad fanfic (which I agree with), but I don't care. It's the way I feel, the way I think and I'm not ashamed of it. Since I love sad endings, maybe I'll get one for myself too- the unrequited love. I would do anything just to stay friends with you, but you simply don't care- is there a better ending than love that will never be possible?
No matter how many times I say "this is the last story about him" it will never be the last one. There's no ending in my mind, I'll keep going, keep dreaming and keep writing because that's something I love to do. I could think of you at any moment and I can't wait to get old and remember everything I felt- that will be my sad ending.