Honeydew || dnf

Freak

I actually have a few chapters pre written (since I posted the first chapter late 💀) so yay updates

TW: disordered eating/anorexia, disordered thinking, body shaming, body dysmorphia, breakdown, twisted thinking

Previously...

It was quite difficult to adapt to this new eating habit, but George had trained his stomach to handle the abuse. Sure, he had the occasional episode... but really, it wasn't that bad!

That's what George told himself, anyway. In reality, it was that bad. Maybe it was even worse than he thought.

He and Ryan had broken up a month and a half ago, and George's health had been deteriorating ever since. He was wasting away, trapped in a steep downward spiral with no way out. If something didn't change soon, George wouldn't be around much longer.

3rd Person P.O.V.

It was a nice Sunday afternoon, and for George, this meant it was meal day. He usually held off his meal until the last possible moment, leaving his once-a-week to the end of the day on Sunday.

He was planning out what he was going to eat when his phone buzzed.

Dream 😤 Team 👅

Dream: george

Dream: george

Dream: george

George rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Dream was his best friend, along with another guy who they called Sapnap. Dream was an amazing coder, and he worked as a freelance programmer, as did George. Sapnap was a streamer with a decent sized fan base. The three of them met years ago on a Minecraft server, and had been inseparable ever since.

Well, as inseparable as you can be when your best friends live on the other side of the world.

Dream 😤 Team 👅

George: what?

Dream: discord call

Sighing, George woke up his PC, joining the discord call. Dream and Sapnap were already on, chatting about who-knows-what. George cleared his throat quietly, speaking up to alert the others of his arrival.

"Hello?" He called. Dream and Sapnap quieted down, greeting him back.

"Hey Gogy."

"Hi George. No facecam today?" Dream observed. Usually George would turn on his facecam when they called.

"I don't feel like it," George replied, voice softer than before.

"Right. Well, Sap and I were talking, and..." Dream drummed on his desk rapidly, stopping as he continued speaking. "We want to plan a Dream Team meetup!"

George stiffened in his chair. "What?"

"A meetup! You, me, and Sapnap!" Dream exclaimed.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna give Gogy a big ol' kiss when he gets to America!" Sapnap added.

"Shut up, Pandas," Dream wheezed softly. "But George, doesn't that sound fun? I was thinking you could both come to Florida, I have plenty of spa-"

"Wait, stop!" George interrupted. Dream was immediately silent, caught off guard by George's sudden outburst. Sure, the brunette could be loud sometimes, but he rarely raised his voice, and especially not with Dream. But he sounded upset, almost... angry?

"George?" Sapnap spoke, sounding confused. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just..." George hesitated, sighing. "I don't think I want to meet up."

"Look, man, if you don't want the kiss then-"

"No! That's not- ugh!" George groaned. frustrated. "I just don't think I'm ready to meet up. I'm sorry."

"George, please just think about it!" Dream insisted, sounding desperate. "Please!"

"No... I don't want to. I'm really sorry, I just... I can't. Sorry," George apologized. From behind the screen, he was curled up in his chair with his knees to his chest, hands gripping at his hair from the stress of this conversation. "I- I gotta go, sorry."

"Wait, George don-" Dream was cut off by George leaving the call. He was alone again, and he immediately broke down.

The brunette squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a breathy sob. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just accept and make his friends happy? They deserved so much better than this...

"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" George cried, covering his face. "Stupid, stupid..."

The brunette was upset with himself. He had refused to meet up with Sapnap and Dream... and now they probably hated him. He was too fat, too disgusting, too unsightly. If they had met up, Dream and Sapnap wouldn't even want to look at him! George refused to go for their own good... Dream and Sapnap would have a lot more fun without him, anyway. They didn't need him.

He was just a freak. And nobody wants a freak to ruin things.

~

George had gone to bed early, exhausted from his breakdown. He had skipped his weekly meal, skipped his three crackers, hell, he barely even had anything to drink.

And it was bad. His stomach hurt, screaming and begging for something that actually held a little substance. But George welcomed the pain; as awful as it felt physically it made him feel better mentally. He would lose weight. At any cost.

In fact... maybe it was time to revamp his diet. Three crackers a day... what was he thinking? All those carbs... it was too much. And a meal a week? Did he really need it? He felt fine... and he would be fine without his crackers and weekly meal too. He would only eat when it was absolutely necessary.

That would make him lose weight. Maybe his friends would like him more, or maybe Ryan would come back... George really wanted Ryan back. He missed having someone to love, someone to love him back. He would sacrifice his health for Ryan... hell, he already had.

George just hoped his efforts wouldn't go unnoticed. 

remember to vote!! also please follow me <3