Mrs.Diaz // lesbian story (g!p x girl)

3.

Jordan's POV

I walked in my house, hearing Olivia talking to my parents. I know what's coming now.

"Jordan!" I heard my mom call for me. I sighed and put my bag on the floor to see one of the house keepers run to take it up to my room but I stopped her, smiling politely at her "it's okay, I'll take it in a bit"

She nodded her head and walked away. I feel bad for them. I mean we pay them a good amount of money but sometimes I add a hundred more dollars from my own money and give it to them. Most of them just want to feed their families and I just want to help as much as I can.

I went to the living room and sat down after kissing my mom and dad's head "what's up?"

Olivia was crying..fake crying as my mom held her in her arms trying to calm her down.

"Olivia came to us telling us you treated her badly in front of everyone. That is not what we taught you" I never say what actually happens because I could care less about that, I just want to go back to my room and rest.

"I'm sorry. Can I go to my room now?" My mom shook her head "not unless Olivia accepts the apology..do you accept it darling?"

Liv nodded and wiped the tears she forced out of her eyes "yes I do, I can't stay mad at her" she said smiling at me. I put a fake smile on trying to just finish this dumb conversation faster.

My family think that Olivia is this little perfect Angel that was sent from god herself to bless us with her beautiful soul but she is not any of that.

Olivia puts on an act when we're around my family, her family or anyone that is close to our families.

Anytime something happens, it's all on me because i never speak up about the problems we have to other people because if we had a mature healthy relationship we would be able to solve the problems by ourselves but she chooses to bring people into every little argument we have so she has support and I don't.

I'm so tired of this shit. I want to break up with her but her family is like really close to mine. We were actually set up to go on a date by them and my parents had a little conversation with me after.

They basically told me that dating her would be good for everyone and shit like that. The thing is, they thought about what would please them and not what would please me but that's the problem, they don't care about me anymore.

If it wasn't for my athletic skills they would even forget that I exist. That's most of the reason why I keep playing. I just want their love and appreciation.

Mostly my dad's love and appreciation. My mom is nice sometimes.

I stood up "I'm gonna go upstairs" I went to take my backpack and went upstairs to my huge room.

The only place I can finally stop acting like I'm happy and that everything is going so perfectly in my life.

I dropped my backpack next to the door and locked my door. I rested my head back on it and let out a deep breathe.

Today was stressful. First days are always stressful for me.

I rubbed my forehead then walked towards my bed. I sat down on it and opened the second drawer in my nightstand, taking my pills out and taking two of them.

There are ups and downs in my life. Downs maybe more than ups but it's fine, I just have to deal with it.

The ups is being able to see my friends, have fun with them, play basketball late at night when the weather is perfect, listening to my music as I go on my daily run and watching the stars late at night alone.

But the downs are way too much.

I suffer from depression and anxiety that my parents don't know about because I barely have a decent conversation with them unless we were with other people where they feel the need to act like perfect parents that care for their child but other than that nothing.

The only person that knows about my depression and anxiety is Amy.

Studying..is really hard for me. I failed my senior year and now I'm repeating it. What my parents think is that because I was focusing on my basketball matches, it was affecting my grades but that's not true, I just thought it would be the only thing they'd accept as an excuse which they did.

But I fell into a deep hole that I couldn't get out of. Instead of going to practice, I went to therapy. Instead of studying, I was crying. Instead of fighting for my life, I was slowly giving up. Instead of trying to get out of the hole I fell in, I just kept going deeper. Instead of having fun, I was trying to hold on to my own life.

I failed school, I lost matches and got benched, I lost friends and lost myself.

Now, I'm slowly getting out but it's still hard. I don't think I would be able to do it without the pills I take.

Like my whole body is giving up on me and shutting down without the pills. I don't want to be dependent on the pills but it's better than me giving up on my life.

It's like..I don't want to be myself anymore.

I don't want to be anyone anymore.

I just want people to forget that I exist just so I can lay in my room and grief on my own with no one bothering me or adding up more problems.

I want a relationship. I know I am in one but I want to be in a loving relationship, not in one that's built up on sex.

Before Olivia, I really wanted a relationship with someone just so they can hold me when I'm sad, so they make me feel loved, to watch the stars with me, to share the same interests as me, to make love with them.

I want to have someone that I would look for in every room I step into hoping to find them even after knowing they won't be here but the thought of them being there would make me happy.

I want to look at them from across the room and smile at how beautiful they look while they were talking.

I want to hold them in my arms and listen to them talking passionately about random things they love.

I want to make sure they know I love them.

I want to make sure they have someone to talk shit to about people they don't like.

And I have never experienced any of that. I have never experienced love and with Olivia in my life, it would be hard to find love.