Mrs.Diaz // lesbian story (g!p x girl)

23.

Jordan's POV

"Hey-" she cut me off "I can't talk right now, I have to go back home" Ruby said putting her shoes on.

Okay she's definitely mad.

"At least a kiss?" I asked and she looked up at me, not answering me "We're talking tonight. Be here at 9" I nodded nervously and swallowed a lump in my throat.

She stood up and left the apartment.

I hate 'talks'.

They scare me.

———

Ruby's POV

Yes, I had to have sex with Nathan to shut him up on why I didn't call him to tell him that I'm going to stay out or why I even slept out of the house.

Doesn't matter right now. I need to talk to Jordan.

I knocked on the door and waited for her to open it. She opened the door and smiled at me.

Don't smile at me, I'm mad at you.

I walked in and heard her closing the door "so what did you wanna talk about?" I turned to look at her and raised my eyebrows. She looked down because she knew exactly what I wanted to talk about "sit down" I said to her.

She sat down on the couch and I walked around in front of her trying to find the right words to say.

You know what, I don't need the 'right words' I'm just going to say what I have to say.

"I had to have sex with Nathan for fuck's sake. Do you know how much I've been trying to avoid that shit? I did that all for you" I said calmly, my voice breaking a little.

Why am I getting emotional about this? She's going to be fine. Right?

I took a deep breathe and stopped walking. I ran my fingers through my hair "I didn't tell you to have sex with him-" I cut her off "and I didn't fucking tell you to be dumb and stop taking important pills like that, did I?" She looked away from my eyes and clenched her jaw.

I went to sit down next to her "I'm not asking you to do anything difficult, I just want you to take care of yourself" I said softly to her.

"I was scared of telling you" she said with a shaky voice "so you stopped taking them? That doesn't make any sense to me"

"I stopped taking them because I thought I wouldn't need them anymore which means I don't have to tell you about it"

"Why did you do that?! I need you to fucking understand that I'm not only here to suck your dick. I need you to talk to me, I need you to speak up when you're in pain or when you don't like something. Do you know how hurt I was that I found out you had depression like that? Not because you didn't tell me, because I wasn't there to help you all the time. I care about you and if we're gonna keep doing this girlfriend and girlfriend thing, I need you to speak up and at least try to talk to me"

"Girlfriend and girlfriend? We're not together, you didn't ask me to be your girlfriend yet" she said. I bit the inside of my cheeks "do you wanna be my girlfriend?" I asked her.

"When you're married to Nathan? No" she said laughing. I stayed quiet and she stopped laughing "I'm just kidding. Of course I'll be your girlfriend"

"But talking my problems..not my thing" she said sounding a bit sarcastic. Why is she trying to be funny right now?

This is so serious to me.

What is she doing?

"You're seriously pissing me off right now Jordan" she nodded her head and put her hand over mine "I'm just kidding. I'll try to talk to you about it"

I nodded and stood up "okay then..I'm gonna leave, don't text me or call me. I want some time to think about things" she held my arm and turned me around "do you realize how hard it is for me to talk about my mental health? You're asking for a lot only because you brought me here and got me my pills. That's how it's supposed to fucking work. Just because you did a decent thing by keeping me from suffering doesn't mean I have to give you something in return"

I pulled my arm back from her and shook my head in disbelief "okay so I'm just here to suck your dick and be here when you're dying so I can be a decent human being and save you? I'm supposed to sit around you and not know anything about you?! Being with you is draining me so much because you're not helping me understand you or know what you're going through. I understand that it's hard but you gotta fucking understand that I've done a lot of things for you, I'm still doing a lot of things for you and all I'm trying to do is make sure you're alright"

"You slept with your own husband? Is that what you did for me?" It's like she doesn't even listen to me talk.

I hate being married to Nathan and she knows that.

I understand that she has problems but I do too.

"This is what I mean, this is why I said I don't want you to call for tonight.." tears fell down my face as I spoke "..it's because you don't seem to care about me as much as I care about you. It doesn't seem like you're willing to do everything I'm willing to do for you. Do you even want to be with me?"

Her lips parted and she nodded, cupping my face with her hands "of course I do, I just..I think my problems are more than yours"

I pulled back from her and opened the door, leaving her apartment and slamming the door behind me.

I got in my car and gripped the wheel while tears kept leaving my eyes. I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and cried.

I don't talk about my problems but I'm asking her to talk about hers? That's so fucking dumb and selfish. I'm asking for a lot from her when I'm not doing the same.

But my problems aren't threatening my life.

She needs someone to make sure she's okay but now I left her like that, causing her even more problems.

Everything that is happening is my fault. I'm so dumb and ignorant.