Mikey Way Fluff Oneshots

Look At Yourself

TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ Mentions of self hate.

Mikey's POV

I truly hated myself. I wished that I could leave. I would never be able to have the guts to take myself so I prayed that something would do it. Whether I was hit by a car or I passed in my sleep.

I was sitting in front of the kitchen sink contemplating everything. Thinking about how I lost so many things in my life.

There were only a few things keeping me here at the moment. Mom, Gerard, and Y/N. Though the main person is Y/N.

Gerard is living in California right now with Lindsey and Bandit, while my mom decided to move to Egypt. I'm not sure why but she said that she was fascinated by the pyramids.

I stared at the knife in the knife block. I walked over and layed my shaky hand down on it. I pulled it out and stared at it. I dragged it down my arm but I didn't put any pressure. Something was telling me to just do it but I knew I couldn't.

I saw my reflection in the mirror and I cried. I just started to let it all out. I sunk to my knees with the knife still in my hand.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was already too messed up to get help.

I was also too late to get myself together because I didn't hear the front door open. All I saw was Y/N standing in the doorway. She looked sad but not angry or disappointed.

"Mikey..." She walked over slowly and sunk down to my level. She pulled me into her lap and rocked me back and forth, running her finger through my hair in the process.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head while the tears kept falling. She whispered an 'ok' and continued to hold me.

After a minute or two, I sat up and looked her in the eyes. I didn't realize that she was crying as well. "Y/N, I don't know what to do." I admitted.

"I don't belong here. I've lost so many things that I wonder what the point of living is." She caressed my cheek.

"Oh honey, I understand. I really do. But let me tell you something. Everything you've lost, all of the people who aren't by your side, they don't matter. They're not important because they didn't care to stick by your side. Real friends and family would be there until the end."

She pauses and smiles at me. "Its almost like a race, you know? You start off and you see many new faces but along the way they drift off. Then they fall behind and you don't see them anymore. Then you start to give up because you're alone. But then you see the things outside of the race. You can see the finish line and those people will support you until you reach it. Look for the people outside of the race." I started crying again but it was just a few tears falling.

She took her thumb and wiped them away. She held my hand. "Come here." She whispered and pulled me up. She walked me to the tall mirror next to the front door.

"Look at your eyes." I looked up at them and felt confused. "Your eyes have seen so many beautiful things and people. They've seen those special moments in your life."

I started to get flashbacks to when we first met. I saw when we first kissed and when we got married.

I also remembered late night talks with Gerard and my mom jumping up and down with joy when I got good grades.

Y/N slid her hands up and down my arms while leaning her head on me. "Look at your legs. They have held you up when you felt weak. They've walked you to many wonderful places." I started to smile and so did she.

"Look at your stomach." She poked me and I giggled." It holds all of your favorite foods and sweets and the things that make you feel comforted."

She brushed my hair out of my eyes. "Look at your smile. It's made people's days better and welcomed new presences into your life."

I was crying at the end but it wasn't sad tears, it was happy.

She turned me towards her and held my face in the palm of her hand. "Mikey you mean so much to me. More than you'll ever know. You're beautiful in your own way and I love seeing it every day. I love your little giggle and your glasses." She booped my nose and I laughed.

"Even if everyone else disappears, I will always be right here. I'm never leaving. I promise you. I hate seeing you in pain and you are definitely not too messed up to get help. We can get you help if you want it."

I nodded. I knew I needed help and Y/N made me realize that I can get help. I don't have to live like this.

"But don't worry about doing it alone because I'll be right there outside of the race." She smiled and I kissed her. I pulled her into me and added more pressure.

We both pulled away after a minute and I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you more." She pecked my lips and started dancing with me. I took her hand and spun her around. She laughed and twirled herself into my body. I held her and breathed in her scent.

Now I didn't think of all the things I've lost, but the things I've gained.

"Forever and ever." I whispered.

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This one's pretty cute but OH MY GOD. I went to the park today and there were some teenagers around my age and I was so scared of them. Idk why but like part of me wanted to stay away but the other part was like "HIT THEM BITCH". Good thing I listened to the first one.

Date: 5-1-22