The Reveries I Keep

Herald

As the covid cases started to die down, everyone thought hell was finally over. We were wrong. We haven't seen anything yet and suffering has just begun.

They say it all started somewhere in the Americas. A man killed his own child, claiming that an angel told him to do it. Everyone thought he's just a crazy murderer. He went into jail, so that must be the end.

It's not.

Similar cases start to surface around the world, sporadic at first. Every week, reports of someone being murdered were made across different countries. This trend doesn't just stay in one place. It doesn't choose where to strike. It's random; a pure game of chance.

Some started to speculate, others shared their own theories. Soon, almost everyone heard about it.

Every murderer who got caught and chose to give their statements said an otherworldly entity visited them in their dreams. Then it proposes something to them-something they can never ignore.

"It's just a life for a life," one of the murderers said when they were being interviewed. They were smirking like they enjoyed what they did.

Another one said, "It told me to choose. I was so scared. That time, I could only choose myself." Their eyes were puffy and red from crying, and they couldn't even look straight at the camera but only hung their head.

• ● •

It was 6:47 PM, and the sun started to paint reds and oranges across the dimming sky. Confined in her tiny room in one of the apartments that jammed half of the city, Dongmei almost spent her entire afternoon watching some videos about this latest phenomenon. The sudden rise of reported murder cases in the recent weeks and a case of infanticide only three stories below sparked this morbid curiosity.

She was there when the mother was being dragged away by the police. "I'm sorry! I just don't want to die!" She was shouting, her tears ever flowing. Dongmei only stood there among the crowd, shocked, with one question in her head: what could have driven her to this?

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and her son Xiaobo faltered into the room. He groaned as he dropped himself on the couch. He reeked of alcohol, and Dongmei knew right away that he went out only to get high and wasted.

She stood up and scolded him, telling him that he should stop doing things he can never benefit from. But as always, he never listened, and just like any other day before, he hit his own mother.

"You shut your mouth. Bitch!" He slapped her hands away from him.

"I'm just telling you to stop! It's for your own good." She was starting to get angry and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"You don't know what's good for me. You never did," he spat and motions around. "Look at this. We're living in this dump all because of you. All because of your pride! What could go wrong if we followed dad?"

"He already had a family, and he didn't tell us! I can't just barge into their lives-"

"You're selfish. Every day, for the last twenty-four years, I wish I wasn't born to be your son!" He stood up, and she flinched when he punched the wall right beside her head. She choked back a sob. She was trembling. Only then when he barged outside again her knees gave up, and she let go of all those sobs she was holding back.

Still, she was relieved it's not as bad as the days before. Yesterday was worse. Blood almost painted their floors red, and she wasn't sure whose blood it could be.

Dinner was lonely as they didn't eat together like other families do. They didn't even treat one another like family and when Xiaobo chose to sleep in the apartment, Dongmei felt like it's not her son who's sleeping at home, but a stranger.

She was in bed while her son slept on the couch. Suddenly, a voice called out to her in her dreams.

"Dongmei..."

The voice had an ethereal quality, and she felt like she's floating as she heard the voice call her name. She then saw a bright yellow light in the distance. It moved, almost hypnotic. She followed it.

"Yu Dongmei. Three hours from now, you'll die in the hands of someone you know. But if you still want to live, trade someone's life for yours. Then we shall grant you a longer life. When you wake up, you'll see a moth by the window. Decide on which path you choose to take."

She gasped awake, heart pounding. She quickly turned her head to look at the window, and there it was, a moth. Then she knew that voice wasn't lying.

She couldn't believe that someone she knew would kill her. Who would do such a thing? Then she remembered everything Xiaobo did to her. Every hit, every curse. He made her want to die.

Right there and then, she made her decision. At least that's how it felt like.

She quickly put on the ski mask she snatched from the drawer and sneaked into the kitchen. She still can't let her son see her face as the last thing he'll see alive. Drawing out the sharpest knife, she tiptoed into the living room where her son was. As she raised the knife above her head, she didn't know she would regret everything she did that night. She plunged the knife deep into her son's chest. He tried to fight until he was lying on the floor, crawling up to her. Still, she gripped on the knife tight, striking again and again, blood splattering everywhere.

Two days later, Dongmei stands on the edge of a rooftop, remembering the mother who committed infanticide three stories below their apartment. Now she understands what drove her into killing her own child. But when your own child is dead-the only family you have left-what's the purpose of living?