❦➹MISC♪✎✐▔▔

allister has a bf and needs to rant /neg

if u saw my message board, u know why i'm here.

and i'm going to say now that i'm not asking for advice, rather just getting things off my chest, so ty anyway :)

here we go

my friends have noticed, my family has noticed, hell, i think my bf has noticed.

i cant stand his friends.

it's in the way that they annoy me and make me uncomfortable to where i don't wanna be around my bf because his friends always follow.

i'm not trying to brag like 'i'm so like-able and hot!!!' but i can't tell if his friends like me and are just mad i went out with my bf instead of them.

they've done multiple things to go out of their way to talk to me in the halls, talk to me in classes, and just annoy me and make me uncomfortable.

i don't know why, but my race has just been a whole thing for them as of lately. they think i'm laid back and can take a joke but i'm not letting you make fun of me for my background .

i hate clarifying that i'm not black and i wouldn't love myself any less if i was. i'm still a poc. and i'm not gonna stand for making fun of black people or any race.

i don't care if you wanna ask me about my race, go for it. but im not gonna be part of your jokes.

back to the topic at hand however.

it's just that i feel as if i can't truly enjoy my boyfriend while his friends are right there to make a joke, distract him, or make a joke about me. i don't get in the way of their friendship. i cant even get to SIT by him in the two classes we have together because one of his friends moves to sit between us

it was funny at first but it's just getting old

and now they think they can make fun of me.

literally today one of them decided my facial tics/expressions were funny and needed to stare at me to make fun of me when i did them.

i do the bunny-nose scrunch thing sometimes out of an anxiety tic i developed and also like a harsh blink-winking one and he had to mock it to where i had to hide my head so he wouldn't see it.

i squint a lot because my vision has been getting worse and worse.

my eyes widen comically when something surprises me (another tic)

i just wanted the period to end.

it's gotten to the point to where i don't wanna see my bf anymore. i don't get excited when he comes around or when i see him in the halls.

his friends are so stuck to his side that he had to take my backpack, put the bracelet in it, and then tell me to find it (in a whisper) while his friend sat beside him.

like i get it, they think i'm cool because i like the 'nerdy' stuff they do, but still. i'm not of you, i'm not your best friend. i'm your friend's s/o and i TOLERATE you.

i don't force my friends to talk to him, i don't drag my friends around to talk to them because my friends know not to get in places they're not supposed to be.

sure, one of my friends talks to him and jokes around for like 5 seconds and we all laugh

so as we near the end of this rant i'm gonna sum up some thoughts i have.

1) they're protective over their friend and are just testing me in a sense

2) they're jealous of my bf (or, hell, even me)

3) they're just assholes and there's nothing i can do

and don't worry guys, i do plan to talk to my bf, or yell at his friends. i'm not gonna be walked over

just in a sense i've been humiliated and made self conscious (after i just got over my terrible anxiety) and i just can't get excited like a little kid in love over my bf anymore.

i know, it's pathetic

but i'm gonna make it right, my first relationship (and hopefully only) will not be ruined over some stupid immature boys.

people i barely talk to know how annoying the two (his friends) are.

my friend who was HIGH the whole day treated me better than my bf and his friends did.

like he gave me hugs and told me he loved me so much (they're the lovey-high) as my bf's friends got annoyed over it
(and my friend that hugged me already has s/o, and i only see him as a friend/always has seen them as a friend)

i don't blame my bf  for his friends, but if he's gonna sit by me and talk to me, at least don't treat me as JUST one of your friends.

thank u for reading my rant, i feel a bit better

and ty to my friend that gives the best hugs, handsome person :)

-sincerely your's
allister <3

May 6/7, 2022

baseball au coming soon.