The Wolf Inside

Master Lowe

1986

Rob Lowe was sitting at his local pub in Russia, known tastefully as 'the hamstring'. He was sipping a real man's drink, hard whiskey and bourbon mixed together. He hated the taste, but it made him feel more masculine. He thought that all the ladies would be attracted to his alpha male presence in the bar, but in reality no one cared what he was drinking.

Right outside the bar, a man dressed all in black stood smoking a cigarette like actors do in movies. It was a fake cigarette and he was a mannequin.

Behind the fake man outside the bar was a nuclear power plant known to some as 'Chernobyl'. The power plant was not fake, it was real.

Lowe continued to down his disgusting concoction scowling as sweaty men and women kept passing by him without a look. He was sick of this.

He threw down his glass, shattering on the floor. Everything went silent, turning to look at the enraged man. Rob realized what he had done, and left with a huff.

Now, Mr. Lowe was no criminal, but in a bad temper such as one he found himself in now, he had been prone to a little bit of a temper tantrum.

So, when he saw the suspicious man in black smoking his cigarette, he decided to take a crack at this mugging business.
He cornered the man and brandished a shard of glass sticking out of his hand.

The man made no reaction.

Now Rob was pissed. All he wanted was a reaction. That's what this guy Kevin did a presentation said all the bullies wanted. He liked to fancy himself a big, bad bully every once in a while.

Lowe continued to assault a fake man in a fake alley.

I should have mentioned the alley and the pub were just an elaborate setup inside of Chernobyl, a very real power plant. Rob Lowe, of course, had no idea he was crazy from inhaling nuclear fumes for so long and was being observed by nuclear scientist, who of course were also real.

Rob Lowe had finally had enough. He took the shard of glass in his hand and stabbed the fake man. The scientists had no idea the sheer power of an Enraged Rob Lowe and gazed on in horror as the walls around him collapsed.

He, still enraged, was not entirely aware of the magnitude of the situation and began to escape out of the containment facility.

A real man sat at a real desk doing a real routine test of the nuclear rods at Chernobyl. A Enraged Rob Lowe busted out of the bathroom and sucker punched the real man doing the real routine test.

That's how the nuclear disaster of Chernobyl happened.

Rob Lowe woke up in a hospital the next day. The real doctors told him that a nuclear power plant exploded and that he was being discharged because of an outbreak in extremely dangerous Gonorrhea in which heads became way to big for a person's body.

1994

On the day Justin Beiber wad born, Rob noticed something was wrong with him. He began growing claws and spewing philosophical phrases at inopportune moments.

Rob, being the reasonable man he was, decided to visit his local witch doctor. Upon one glance, the doctor determined he had Rabies. But not the normal kind. That abnormal kind.

Rob had the ability to give others Rabies while keeping himself super duper healthy. The doctor also said he was turning into a god of sorts but that's not important.

Eventually, Mr. Lowe became somewhat of a tyrant over a local gang of werewolves who later formed The Cult Of Rob Lowe around him due to increased threats and fear that they would die of Rabies.

Rob Lowe is a menace to the wolf pack and is currently destroying their lives, but the wolves are none the wiser.

This is why we need to use metal straws.