Apricots - Ruel Van Dijk

Chapter 20 - Lovesick

Ruel's POV

You
Love a fool who knows just how to get under your skin
You
You, you still open the door

I walked slowly into the dining room, hand in hand with Teliah. I could tell she was nervous by the way she was squeezing my hand, and the way I knew she was gnawing at her bottom lip. I would've said something if it weren't for the rollercoaster of events that had happened this afternoon.

It's not as if we are in love.

She'd said that earlier, just stating a fact. But for some reason, it felt like a stab to the heart. I had known that she didn't like me, let alone love me, but hearing her say it so casually and easily made me want to be sick. I was coming to the realisation that I liked Teliah, a lot, to the point where it was painful to think of a life without her. And with the moment where she'd fallen into me, where she'd looked at me with that pure adoration, where I'd held her, I'd realised how painful it would be. To her, it was just simply an act, but to me, it was all real. Every moment I touched her, every kiss I would lay against her skin, every time where I'd get to hold her close in front of my family or citizens, would be real, so real to me, no matter how one sided I knew it was.

"Ruel?" echoed my mother's voice, bringing me back to where I was. I took in the familiar sight of the dining room, which sat my mother and Stella. But the head of the table was unusually empty.

"Where's father?" I asked into the air. It was strange for him to miss dinner, especially when Teliah was joining us.

"He won't be joining us tonight," mother nodded at me. I didn't put much thought into that, as I honestly would've preferred him not to be here to scare her. I watched as my mother then cast her glance toward Teliah instead of me. I felt her fingers tighten around my hand and I couldn't help but let out a small smile. She was nervous.

"Mother, this is Teliah," I said, using my free hand to gesture towards her. I had a feeling that my mother would like her, she was polite but she wasn't a kind robot. She still had that firey personality that she always seemed to use. My mother had hated all the princesses father wanted me to marry, she herself had been a princess forced to be married to my father.

I glanced down at Teliah, who was staring at me, her eyes wide in panic. It's okay, I mouthed, rubbing my thumb gently over the back of her hand. I watched as she blew out a breath and then opened her mouth to speak.

"Your majesty," she said politely, bowing her head. I smiled. Despite how roped into this she was, she was still polite to everyone involved. I didn't know if I could ever do anything even close to making up for what she was doing for me.

"Oh dear, please call me Kate. There is really no need for such formalities, soon we will be family," my mother smiled her usual kind smile. I tugged her gently and strode over to where we would be sitting and pulled out one of the dark oak chairs for her to sit on. 

She stood shakily beside the chair, and I could tell she was anxious about the whole thing. So I gently brought my hands around her waist from the back, clasping my hands around the velvet fabric covering her stomach, and planted a small kiss on the smooth, bare skin of her shoulder. I felt her shoulders fall just the tiniest bit as she shivered under the sudden contact. 

"Relax," I whispered into her ear before letting her go. She turned her head away from me, hiding her face, but sat down. I moved her chair into the table before sitting down myself. I prayed to whatever that Stella or mother didn't ask her any difficult questions, she was under enough pressure as is. 

"If there is anything we can do to make you more comfortable Teliah, please do let us know," mother said softly, and I sent her a thankful look for noticing how anxious she was.

"Thank you so much," she blew, letting go of a breath she was quite obviously holding. 

As if on cue, the waiters began to bring out food, saving us from any awkward silences.

*

Dinner had been awkward. None of us quite knew what to say, and usually father would lecture us, robbing us of any normal conversations. So we all just ate in silence, Stella shooting me looks the whole time.

Teliah had merely touched her food, showing me she was really uncomfortable. She'd just played with the food with her fork, the occasional tiny mouthful of mashed potato. And I'd felt horrible. She was miserable, and now she'd be miserable for the rest of her life, all because of me. All because I was a stupid idiot.

"Ruel?" I heard her call from my ensuite. I'd been sitting on my bed while she showered, regretting my life choices.

"Yes?" I called back.

"I don't have any clothes..." she said quietly enough so I could only just hear her. Fuck. It was 12 at night so all the workers and Stella had gone to bed, meaning I had only a couple of my own clothes in my room, and had absolutely no idea where the pyjamas or spare clothes were kept. I'd never had anyone stay with me so I'd just never asked.

"Do you have..underwear?" I asked hesitantly.

"...no..." she replied shyly. Again. Fuck. 

"Hold on," I said under my breath. I prowled around my room, just desperately looking for something that she could wear. I eventually found a random (clean) pair of boxers, and took off the t-shirt I was wearing to give her. It wasn't ideal, but we didn't have many other options. "Can you put a towel on?" I asked, as I knocked on the door.

"I already have one on, you can open it," she breathed as I slowly gripped the doorhandle. I turned around so my back was facing the door and passed the clothes through the gap, then shut it once I felt the fabric escape my fingers. I wanted her to know I respected her as a woman and that I was not going to just watch her change or look at her while she was so exposed. Even if she was in a towel, it's still basic respect.

I sat back down on my bed, running my fingers through my wet hair, impatiently waiting for the girl I was utterly lovesick for.

A/N

oh em gee, idk what this mess even is. i just wanna write ppl so here ya go

neways um happy HARRYS HOUSE YALL WHAT

yeah thats it, um be a bad bitch and enjoy life and ignore what other ppl think bc its your life live it however you wanna:)

- Bri:))