Stacy's Story

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next day Jen didn't wake up. She slept all day. The heart monitor blipped. She had oxygen hooked up to her again. Her breathing was shallow. The seizure had taken a lot out of her. The seizure was a side effect of the experimental drug. The one that was supposed to make her stronger. The one that gave us slight hope she'd be ok.

All I could feel was anger. I was angry at God, angry at the doctors. Angry at her mom for letting her try this drug. Anger just welled up inside of me. I wanted to run, I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch a wall. All I could do was hyperventilate.

"Stacey, Stacey, are you alright? Stacey, honey breath, sit down next me hold my hand." Her mom did her best to comfort me. I wasn't ready to lose my best friend. To go on with life without her in it.

I went back into her room and held her hand. While I held her hand I prayed. I prayed to God and to anyone that would listen. I prayed and bargained and prayed some more. I think I went through all the stages of grief in one prayer.

I didn't leave that night. Neither did her mom. We both found a place to rest within the hospital room she was in. I wasn't going to let my best friend die alone.

As I slept, I dreamed of Jen. I dreamed of her laughing and giggling and us having a good time at the city park. It was a bright sunny day. The birds were chirping, the wind was blowing. You could feel the warmth of the sun on your face.

"Stacey, you're my best friend. I'll never leave you. I am always watching over you."

"But I can't let you leave me. I can't go on with life without you." I cried.

"I'll be all alone, you're my one and only friend. My best friend also." I said to her, Weary.

Stacey, it's time to let me go. I'm tired. I'm tired of suffering. I'm hurting Stacey. Everything hurts.

I want to be at peace. I don't want to be hooked up to all of these machines. Please Stacey, I'm asking you to please let me go. Please let my mom have peace and let me have peace. I'm ready. With that she grabbed my hands and brought me for a hug. We hugged, for what seemed like an eternity. I hugged her and didn't let go. But I knew in my heart that it was time to let her go. I knew that it was time to let her have peace.

I awoke to the heart monitor beeping. It was going at an odd pace. Very slowly. Blip blip blip............

Then along beeeeeeeeep...... The doctors rushed in, but I knew in my heart there wasn't nothing more they could do. She was done fighting. The doctors looked at her mom and told her there wasn't anything more they could do. She's gone. All the medicine and machines in the world couldn't save her. It wasn't possible. She was ready to go.

I sat in the waiting room remembering my dream. The laugh we shared, the hugged we shared. I believe it was her way of saying goodbye. Letting me say goodbye. I believe it was more than just a dream. A vision of peace and comfort. and comfort.