Teen Years [Heartstopper]

3

TW: This chapter contains mentions of body image issues, bullying, physical/verbal fighting, underage drinking, and homophobia.

*Monday, February 28th.*
DIARY ENTRY TWO:
It had been about a week since my encounter with Ben at the milkshake cafe. Elle, Tao, Tara, and Darcy have been asking me non-stop why I hit Ben when I did. I never really told them the reason only that I was angry at him at the time. Harley and I had been hanging out everyday that week. We hang out at my house and the milkshake cafe.
*At Lunch*
I sat down across from Tara at our usual table.
"Hey Tara! Hi Darcy! Hello Elle!" I smiled as I sat down.
"Hey Cici!" Darcy waved.
"Hey!" Elle and Tara both waved.
"How is everyone's day?" I opened my orange juice bottle.
"Good!" Everyone said.
"I see you're still drinking orange juice. What happened to your water?" Elle opened her apple juice.
"Orange juice is just superior." I took a drink.
Everyone laughed.
"Hey Cierra!" Harley sat down next to me.
"Hey Harley!" I looked over at her and smiled.
"So my birthday party is this Saturday!" She said in an excited tone.
"Oh yeah it is!" I closed my orange juice bottle and smiled.
"Do you want to come?" Harley said, fixing her tie.
"Yeah that sounds fun!" I agreed with a smile.
"Invite whoever!" She stood up and walked back over to her table.
"I'm sorry, did you just get invited to a popular people party?" Elle looked at me with a shocked expression.
"I guess I did." I laughed and opened my orange juice.
"Elle, Tara, Darcy you guys should come! I know Tara and Darcy were invited and Elle you should come with us!" I took a sip of my orange juice and invited them.
"I can't. I'm having a film night with Tao on Saturday!" Elle closed her apple juice.
"Oh, Tao?" I noticed her blushing.
"He is literally my best friend so yes, Tao." She took a bite of her sandwich.
"So only friends?" Tara, Darcy, and I said.
"Only friends." Elle said, blushing.
"Okay whatever." I said, obviously not believing a word Elle said.
*At Home*
"Charlie, Tori, Dad, Mom I'm home!" I yelled as I walked into the house.
"CI NICK INVITED ME TO HARRY'S PARTY!" Charlie ran down the stairs.
"Harley invited me!" I placed my shoes next to the door.
"Our first popular people party?" Charlie walked all the way down the stairs.
"I guess so!" I hung my jacket up and shrugged my shoulders.
I walked up the stairs and shut my bedroom door. I was sitting on my phone when a notification came across my screen.
———
Messages
"Hey Cierra, can we meet up? I kind of wanted to talk to you!" The message was from Nick Nelson.
"Yeah Nick! The milkshake cafe?" I replied to his message.
"Actually why don't you come to my house? You can meet Nellie!" He responded.
"I WOULD LOVE TO MEET NELLIE. I've only ever seen pictures." I added the dog emoji at the end.
"See you soon then!" He went offline.
———
*At Nick's House*
I walked up to the door and rung to doorbell. I heard a faint bark and then the door opened.
"Hey Nick!" I waved.
"Hi!" Nick waved back.
"This is Nellie!" He looked down at his feet as the dog ran beside him.
"Oh. My. SHE IS EVERYTHING!" I screamed and got down to pet her.
"Come in!" He moved out of the doorway.
"Okay!" I walked in.
We went and sat on the couch.
"So what is it you wanted to talk about?" I said as soon as he sat down.
"Well first off how are you?" He said as Nellie ran and jumped in between us.
"I'm okay. How are you?" I said as I scratched behind Nellie's ears.
"I'm okay as well!" He started scratching the top of Nellie's head.
"What is you wanted to talk about? I know you didn't just ask me here to meet Nellie and to ask me how I was doing, what's up?" I said as Nellie laid her head on my lap.
"She really likes you." He smiled, avoiding the subject.
"Nick!" I yelled.
"Right sorry. It's actually about well it's about you." He said as Nellie jumped off of the couch.
"Me?" I watched the dog leave the room.
"Well sort of. I know Charlie's whole coming out story but what about yours? How did you come out? When did it happen? Was it your choice? That kind of stuff!" Nick looked over at me.
"Why do you want to know that?" I looked over at Nick.
"My entire life I've believed that I liked girls and girls only. Recently I've started to feel like maybe I like boys. I mean I like girls as well but I also like boys I guess? I don't really know what I am but." He started tearing up.
"Nick it's okay to not know your sexuality! It takes time. You don't have to figure out your sexuality right now. I'm sure along the way you'll hear that plenty of times but it's true." I smiled and hugged Nick.
"My coming out story right." I said as I let go of Nick.
"You'll tell me?" Nick wiped away his tears.
"Yeah! So it all started six weeks after Charlie came out, well it wasn't really his choice it was sort of found out but you've heard the story, anyway. A kid coming out was major news at both Higgs and Truham. Charlie never really liked the attention to be on him which is why I was shocked he joined rugby but everyone at both schools were going on and on about this kid who came out. Some people were supportive while others said some very rude things about Charlie. He was being bullied at school which I'm sure he told you." I stopped to cough before continuing.
"Yeah he told me about the bullying." Nick sighed and looked at the ground.
"Well he stopped talking to me about it. On a Monday I heard a few girls at lunch talking about how 'gross' Charlie was. I couldn't take it anymore I couldn't handle all the stuff people were saying about Charlie. I mean he's my brother and I was supposed to protect him and I just snapped. I stood up on my chair and yelled 'I'M A LESBIAN' the whole room went silent and then for the next month or so all of the attention was on me rather than Charlie. I ignored every comment. Eventually my coming out announcement wasn't such a major story and the attention died down. The news never fully left the walls of the school. People still look at me weird. People still talk about me right in front of me. People still talk about that day in the cafeteria." I paused yet again.
"So you came out to help Charlie?" Nick still had tears in his eyes.
"Yeah." I sighed and smiled.
"You know you are literally the best sister in the world right?" He wiped his tears and checked his phone.
"Thank you." I flipped my hair.
"It's late! Maybe you should get home?" Nick rubbed his eyes and stood up quickly.
"Yeah I should before Charlie gets worried!" I stood up.
"He doesn't know where you are?" Nick shot me a shocked expression.
"I didn't know if you wanted me to tell him or not so I told him I'd be back whenever I was done talking to Tao. He texted me like 5 minutes ago because Tao said I wasn't with him." I laughed as I walked to the front door.
"He is going to be so mad Cera!" Nick ran after me laughing.
"That's a new one." I put my shoes on.
"Oh yeah I do that sometimes. I just randomly spit out nicknames. If it's not okay I won't call you it ag-" I stopped him.
"Honestly it's cool! I love the name actually." I smiled as I tied my right shoe.
"Also can we keep what we talked about here between just us? I'm not sure I want to come out just yet, I mean I don't even know what to label myself." He kicked his foot against the ground.
"Of course! I won't tell anyone!" I finished tying my right shoe and starting tying my left shoe.
"Thank you!" Nick grabbed my jacket off of the staircase railing.
"Why did you tell me?" I finished tying my shoe and stood up.
"I guess I just trust you. I mean I don't know how to explain it but I needed to tell someone and I wanted that someone to be you!" Nick said, handing me my jacket.
"Oh! I feel like I can trust you as well I can't explain why but it's just a feeling. Do you plan to come over at all this week?" I put my jacket on.
"I'm quite busy with rugby and homework so probably not but I'll see you at Harry and Harley's party on Saturday!" Nick smiled as I opened the front door.
"Later!" I waved as I walked out of the house.
"Later Cera!" He waved and shut the door.
*At Home*
I walked into the door to see Charlie, Tao, Tori, Elle, Issac, my mom, and my dad waiting on the stairs.
"Hey guys!" I shut the door behind me and took off my jacket.
"WHERE WERE YOU?" My dad ran over and hugged me.
"I was out. What is everyone doing here?" I hung my jacket up and began to untie my right shoe.
"We we're worried! Charlie texted the groupchat and said you said you were with Tao and when Tao said you guys weren't together we all came over here!" Elle's worried expression faded.
"Yeah. I mean Ci where were you?" Tao ran to me and hugged me.
"I was at a friends house!" I had finished untying my shoes.
"Who?" Issac looked up from his book.
"Why does that matter?" I placed my shoes next to the door.
"Please Cici where were you?" Charlie stood up and walked in front of me.
"It doesn't matter, I'm home now. Sorry for worrying you all. I was busy." I ignored the question.
"TELL US CI!" Tori yelled, I'd never heard her yell before.
"It's literally no one. Just a friend." I started tearing up when Tori yelled.
"Cierra Kate Spring tell us where you were RIGHT NOW!" My mom said in a furious tone.
"Cierra please tell us! We were worried about you. We just want to know where you were." Tao noticed me tearing up and hugged me.
"I was at a friends. Can't that be enough information?" I tried to contain my emotions.
"What friend?" Charlie asked.
"Does that really matter?" I turned around as someone knocked on the door.
I opened the door, but not all the way.
"Cierra you left your headphones at my house!" It was Nick.
"Thanks." I said taking the headphones out of his hand.
"Well I'll see you later! " He waved.
"Later." I sighed, shut the door, and turned around.
"Were you at Nick's?" Tao looked at Charlie and then at me.
"Is it really that big of a deal? Yes I was over at Nick's." I put my headphones around my neck.
"Why didn't you just tell us? I mean are you and him like I don't know a thing?" My mom walked down the stairs.
"WHAT? MOM? NO! I'M LITERALLY INTO GIRLS, remember?" I said, shocked.
"Oh yeah." Everyone laughed.
"Look I'm sorry for not telling you, I'm sorry for worrying you but I'm okay. I'd like to just go upstairs and get some sleep if that's okay. I'm really tired." I walked through them to the stairs.
Everyone left and I went to my room. Before I could shut my door Charlie walked in.
"Hey Cierra." He sighed and flopped down on my bed.
"Charlie look I'm sorry for worrying you. I know I should have told you I went to Nick's. I'm sorry." I flopped down beside him.
"Why did you go the Nick's?" Charlie covered his eyes with his arms.
"He texted me. He wanted to talk." I looked over at Charlie.
"About what?" Charlie removed his arms and looked over at me.
"School stuff!" I knew as soon as I said it, he'd know I was lying.
"You two aren't even in the same year. You guys don't even go to the same school?" Charlie sat up.
"Shit. I'm a really bad liar." I sat up.
"So what did he want to talk about?" Charlie blinked three times very quickly.
"Just about my coming out story. He said he had heard some stories about it but wanted for hear it from me." I said, not really lying but also not telling the full truth.
"Oh okay." Charlie stood up.
"I'll see you in the morning." I hugged him.
He left my room and I shut the door behind him. I laid back in my bed and fell asleep.
*Saturday, March 5th*
Charlie and I hopped into the car. He was wearing a pair of jeans, his usual shoes, and a purple-ish colored button up shirt. I was wearing a black, spaghetti strap dress with black sandals since heels would be too painful.
We shut our doors and our dad drove us to the party.
*At the Party*
We pulled out front of this giant building. Our dad gave us a hug and we left. The building was loud. There was so much chatter and music. We waited in a long line to get into the front door until finally we made it in.
"You made it!" Harley ran over and hugged me.
"I'd never miss your birthday party! Happy birthday by the way!" I hugged her as Charlie went to find Nick.
"Do you want alcohol? I think you want alcohol!" She grabbed my arm and dragged me over to a long table.
"Are you drunk?" I laughed as she poured me a cup of something.
"Maybe!" She handed me the cup and then poured one for herself.
"Yeah, that's enough for tonight." I took her cup and dumped it out into the trash can.
"RUDE!" She said.
"Harley where did you even get alcohol?" I dumped mine into the trash can as well.
"Well my mom and dad don't know so shhh but Harry has a friend who brought it!" She said as I poured some punch into a cup and handed it to her.
"Okay well no more alcohol for you. Only punch!" I said as I poured myself a cup of punch.
"You're no fun!" She looked disappointed.
"No but I'm going to make sure you stay safe!" I grabbed her arm and walked her over to where I saw Nick and Charlie sitting.
"Hey Cierra!" Nick waved as Harley and I walked over.
"Is she okay?" Charlie scooted closer to Nick, giving room on the couch for Harley and me.
I sat beside Charlie and helped Harley sit beside me.
"She's drunk." I said as I put a pillow behind her head.
"Damn." Nick took a sip of his punch.
"Nick that better be punch and only punch." I laughed as I took a sip of my punch.
"I-um." He slowly put the cup down.
"NICK!" Charlie yelled taking his cup.
"I'M KIDDING! I WANT MY PUNCH BACK." Nick screamed.
"What are you guys doing hanging out over here?" Someone walked over to us.
"It's a bit boring, isn't it?" The boy looked at his friends.
"Do you have a problem?" I looked up at the group of boys.
"Actually-" The boy started.
"Harry don't you dare." Nick stood up in front of the boy.
"Harry as in Harry Greene?" I looked at Harry.
"So you've heard of me." Harry laughed.
"From your sister and my brother yeah." I stood up.
"Oh your brother talks about me? How PATHETIC!" Harry turned to his friends yet again.
"OH HELL NO. I'M SO DONE WITH PEOPLE SCREWING WITH MY BROTHER. HARRY YOU ARE A STUCK UP, HOMOPHOBIC, PATHETIC ASSHOLE!" I snapped.
"Oh wow that hurt my feelings." He joked.
"Cierra don't." Nick grabbed my shoulder.
"Anyway Nick, Tara Jones is here." Harry looked away from me and turned to Nick.
"So?" Nick let go of my shoulder.
"Go get her!" Harry dragged Nick away.
"I'm going to get some fresh air." Charlie stood up and walked away.
"Hey Imogen, right?" I saw a girl in a purple dress.
"Yeah, what's up?" She stopped dancing.
"Do you mind looking after Harley? I need to find my brother." I asked, pointing at Harley.
"Of course!" She went over and sat next to Harley.
I walked around trying to find my brother when eventually I did. He was walking down a hallway. I ran up him and caught up rather quickly.
"Charlie are you okay?" I tapped his shoulder.
"Yeah just needed some fresh air." He lied.
"You know they don't like each other." I said.
"I know. Or I think I know? Honestly I don't know." Charlie said as he continued to walk.
"Charlie..." I started but we bumped into someone.
"Hey." It was Ben.
"I'm not in the mood for your bullshit so GO AWAY!" Charlie yelled, pushing Ben into a wall.
"Fuck you too then." Ben stood up straight.
"Fuck this." I lost it, I punched him, again.
"CIERRA WHAT THE HELL? WHY DO YOU KEEP PUNCHING ME?" He asked as he held his nose.
"Mess with my brother one more time." I walked away but before I did Charlie pushed Ben into the wall, again, and walked in the opposite direction towards where I had come from.
I walked out of the house.
*1 Hour Later*
I sat outside, calming down, for an hour. When I went back inside I ran into Nick who seemed to be freaking out.
"Nick what's wrong?" I stopped him from running.
"I ki- I mean we- I mean I ra- have you seen Charli-" He tried to catch his breath.
"Okay breathe!" I walked over with Nick to a set of chairs near us.
"I went off on Harry and then Charlie and I went off." He finally caught his breath.
"Okay well what happened after that?" I asked.
"We kissed. Cierra we kissed." Nick looked at me.
"I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" I said as I smiled.
"And then Harry yelled for me and I didn't know what to do so I ran out and left Charlie there alone and when I came back he was gone." Nick put his hands over his face.
"Nick it's okay just calm down. Charlie will understand." I hugged him.
"I hope so." Nick hugged me.
*At Home*
"Charlie?" I yelled into his bedroom.
"Go away!" He yelled back.
"Can we just talk please?" I opened the door.
"What do you want." He was tucked into his bed.
"Well I wanted to say goodnight I love you, but are you okay?" I sat down at the foot of his bed.
"Just tired." He turned away from me.
"Get some sleep. I love you." I turned off his lamp.
"I love you too." He turned back towards his door.
I walked to my room and shut the door.
*The Next Morning*
Charlie was downstairs brushing his teeth and I was with him. We heard a knock on the door.
"Charlie! Cierra! Can one of you please get that? Could be the postman." Our mother yelled from the kitchen.
"Yeah mom!" Charlie yelled as he left the bathroom and opened the door.
I peaked out of the bathroom door to see Nick Nelson standing in the doorway.
"Hey." Nick was soaked.
"Hey." Charlie said awkwardly.
———
END OF EPISODE THREE