Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 21

Page 22

Announcement - "Yorktown's trial has been, so far, a losing battle against her. Unfortunately, the trial has to be suspended because someone bombed the court building. On another note, Arbiter said she's pregnant."

Sirens - "This goes out to Purifier: Fuck you."

Arbiter - "You're so thrilled about this it's concerning. I even noticed you holding out handcuffs to me when we're in bed. Did you get those from Rossiya?"

Hornet - "It is a crime to blow up a building with civilians inside. You're lucky I managed to convince command to keep you in service."

Enterprise - "Oh my lord, you're as flat as the destroyers and u-boats. I'm having Belfast assigned to you so you can actually eat something... just, something."

Laffey - "I thought you were joking when you said your hunny ears conceal your powers. After seeing you body slam North Carolina to the ground and throw her across the base, I have sufficient evidence to believe you."

Benson - "I can't believe your bunny ears conceal your immense powers. Aren't you girls suppose to be destroyers?!"

North Carolina - "Rematch isn't even an option at this point. It's guaranteed Laffey will wipe the floor."

New Jersey - "I'm making you forever wear the bunny girl outfit. If the Benson destroyers use bunny ears, of all things, to hide their true powers, then maybe you are too."

Akashi - "The FBI is currently investigating the base after you bought a shitload of cocaine and meth. Please, for the love of god, don't do anything stupid. Just hide them."

Vestal - "I noticed you've been getting buddy buddy with Akashi. That totally doesn't correlate with the fact you somehow got your hands on a meth cookbook, does it?"

Essex - "Just because your name is pronounced "Es-sex," doesn't mean you go around asking other shipgirls for sex. Please, don't do that."

Kaga - "When your sister said you had a stove, I didn't think you were the stove. Why do you use the fire on your tail to cook?"

Roon - "I told you to specifically go easy on Taihou. I don't mean you should just instead drop kick her off the roof. You're lucky she survived the fall."

Taihou - "I'm so sorry you've been hospitalized. But hey, enjoy talking to Yamato about her desire to defeat New Jersey all day, all night."

Mushashi - "It's unwise to try and fight carriers. I mean, last time you went against them they wiped the floor. Also, no, I won't ask Akashi to purchase W23 nuclear shells for you. Stop asking."

Shinano - "I warned you not to look at Arbiter's dreams. Look at you, now you have PTSD from seeing so many wet dreams."

Yamato - "I think you've bored Taihou so much that she's rather be in the same room with Albacore. Why do you have to talk so slow sometimes? Does talk speed correlate with how fast your ship can go? If so, then you should be talking faster than that."

Rossiya - "You're the one selling Arbiter handcuffs. If you don't stop, I'll make sure to ensure capitalism is present in the northern parliament."