xxi. Theory

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Sirius Black doesn't know how long it's been since he saw daylight.

He was sure that it has been years since he first did but the numbers escaped his mind. He didn't like remembering those times though. Instead of feeling the addicting taste of sweetness on his parched tongue, it tasted bitter. Sour. Salty. He doesn't like those tastes. He never did.

Someone else was happy for him though. Or at least he'd like to think they are. The Dementors love visiting his cell. When he first arrived they had gathered around and played with his emotions, sucking up all the light he had left until all that was left was a tiny flicker of what it once was. He also doesn't believe they took everything though. The words 'darkness can never exist without light' gave him hope that not all was still lost. His sanity was still there.

There were days he didn't want to play with the Dementors. It took him a while to find a way to say no but even then, he could only use his animagus form once or twice every 20 days. Or maybe it was 22. He doesn't remember.

Azkaban was a boring place. Nothing to do but stare at the cracks of cement reminisce about how it felt like to have the sun on your skin and listen to the wales of criminals' suffering. Boring. Very boring.

Sirius believed that one day, he would escape. He had to. Leaving unfinished business went against his honor as a Gryffindor and friend. He waited. For 12 years he waited for time to become lenient with him and provide an opportunity for his hunger to ravage the traitor.

He just didn't expect for it to come in the form of a letter.

One night he had woken to a sealed, plain white letter next to his hand. It was not written on who it was addressed, but then again it was in his cell, placed beside his decaying body. With shaky hands, the pristine letter was marred with dirty fingerprints and dust marks. When he finally managed to pry it open, he read under the moonlight:

Rest and gather your energy. 7 days from now, shift into your animagus form. I will handle the rest.

Attached to it was a picture. The edges were sharp and clean and the colors were so vibrant it made his dark eyes squint. It's been so long since he had seen the colors red, yellow, and white. Brown hair stuck up in all sorts of directions and bright, green eyes remained still yet resolute. The Gryffindor robe he wore took Sirius back to a lovely place he called home, where James, Lily, and Remus were waiting for him. A time when death was not concrete and betrayal did not taste so bitter.

Harry Potter. His godson and the only piece of his best friends' that they had left, were staring at him through the shiny paper.

Sirius' hand trembled once more as it gripped the paper until lines of creases spread out into the page. He should've been wary of the person that sent the letter, he knew that but his thirst and hunger triumphed over his mind.

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