Rest In Pieces

7

 Xadezhda

They were waiting for her. She could feel them, lingering in her mind, speaking to her. Their voices was quieter now, but still there.

Xadezhda, they whispered, just faint.

Airo and James were asleep, not that either could do much to stop her. Airo had seen the Arcane without telling her, spoken to them even.

Each day she craved the numbness they gave her.

Xadya ventured into the Caves, knowing those who could harm her, those who had not yet earned the trust of their Zlatčka, were in chains. She was too, once.

"I was wondering when you'd come." His voice was like molasses. Her knees faltered. "You needn't kneel, laya divèshka. You do not answer to me anymore." She was quiet. Matías came out of the shadows. "You'd like to though, wouldn't you?"

Xadya couldn't help herself. She nodded.

When she looked down, her talons had come back in. Her features were changing already.

"I felt everything they did to you," he purred, talons cold against my cheek. "Did it hurt, when they burned you?"

She bit her lip. "I had to."

"That is not what I asked you." Matías was ever so gentle with her, something he rarely was.

Behind him, two more emerged.

"Nice to see you, Xadya," Oliwia teased. "Don't you look... interesting."

"She looks mundane," Nathaira spat. Her black eyes were narrowed when she looked at Xadya.

"Get out of my head," she snapped suddenly, glaring at Matías. She had remembered why she came. "I am not yours anymore. Be done with me."

"I am not in your head, divèshka, though I will never be done with you," he said, harsh now. "You were my Second. I will have you back, willingly or not."

She had made a very big mistake.

"No," she breathed, turning away. What would Airo say?

Matías snapped his fingers. Oliwia and Nathaira were on her in seconds. They grabbed at her hair and dragged her further into the Caves. She was still strong, but nothing compared to the strength of an Arcane.

She screamed for Airo, even James. They were too far to hear her.

"What are you going to do?" Xadya seethed, fighting as they held her still. Matías came closer, laying his hand over her chest.

"Heartbeat won't do," he muttered.

They were going to Initiate her again.

Pain.

Xadya remembered pain. Sure, the markings hurt, but she didn't receive them until after she was heartless. Xadya would remember that pain forever. Memories erased, holes created. Tears and blood. Oh, so much blood.

"No!" she roared, shoving him away from her. Oliwia and Nathaira chased her, even past the other Arcane who were still in chains.

Xadya wondered when Matías would set them loose on her.

"You'd run too," she panted, stumbling past the cave-line. They were trapped. She stood, catching her breath and staring at their black eyes. "You'd run too, if you had the chance."

Their expressions were blank. They said nothing.

Xadya ran back to the palace, faster now.

When Airo pushed her door open that morning, Xadya sat in her bed with her knees pulled to her chest, pressing her talons in and watching as the blood moved under her skin.

He stared at her. She looked up, eyes still murky.

"What did you do?"

"Don't come near me," Xadya snapped, losing strength by the second. She couldn't hold it off much longer.

"Get over here," he ordered, and she flew.

Xadya was seated before he even blinked. He chained her wrists, and began rooting around her drawers for whatever he was looking for.

"Get Jamie," she growled. Airo stopped, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"What the hell is he going to—"

"I want Jamie," she seethed.

He could do it. He could fix her.

James burst into the room, having heard the commotion. He came to crouch before Xadya, hand under her chin. She looked down at him, breathing heavily.

"I can't fight them," she whispered to him.

"Yes you can," he soothed.

James may have never forgiven her. But he could be rougher with her, in a way that Airo could rarely bring himself to do.

"H—help," she pleaded. Even her voice had changed.

She should not have gone.

She should not have gone.

Matías was strong, stronger than she remembered. Even after her excommunication, his hold on her was still clinging.

James had a grave expression on his face.

"No," Xadya whispered, but he was nodding already.

"She needs to go through it again."