Chapter 14

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 Dr. Douglas' office always smelled like chamomile and whatever baked sweets she'd picked up that morning for her patients. Today it was chocolate chip cookies. I didn't eat any, I haven't felt hungry all day today, and half of the day before.

Dr. Douglas sat at her desk, her chin resting on one of her neatly manicured hands, while the other held a pen. She was waiting for me to do something, to speak, to cry, to scream, anything, it reminds me of our first few sessions. Most of the sessions would go by in silence, with her breaking the silence occasionally. But today wasn't like those other times, i wasn't talking because i didn't want to.

I literally couldn't talk about what was wrong.

The vampire had been there, at school watching me, I knew it. I heard her in the woods. I think. I was already in danger, I couldn't talk about Bella, even though Dr. Douglas would undoubtedly bring her up without me saying so. Forks was small, so she'd definitely heard about Bella's dramatic departure.

"So. Eleonor, care to tell me about what happened?" I supposed she was tired of waiting for me to crack.

"Nothing happened."

She sighed, leaning back in her chair. "You had a severe panic attack at school, you mean to tell me that was nothing?"

I didn't answer, I looked down at my hands running patterns on the plush chair of her office. I don't know what to say, how to excuse this. I haven't thought of anything, I've barely been thinking at all. I've constantly been on high alert.

"I know this whole situation with your friend leaving town, the chief's daughter, must be very stressful for you-"

"It's not about Bella." I answered too quickly.

"Isn't it?"

"No."

"But you and Bella were friends, weren't you?"

"We hung out sometimes."

"I see" She wrote something in her notebook. Then she brought out a file and skimmed through it, looking up at me a few times. She took a breath and slowly set the file down. "Do you think this reminds you about what happened to your friend Natalia back home?"

No, this is nothing like that.

"No." I grit my teeth.

"Bella, like Natalia, was your friend and suddenly disappeared from your life, you're telling me that isn't similar?"

You're wrong. It's not the same.

"Bella didn't disappear, she left." I began picking at my nails painfully. I didn't like where this conversation was going. I didn't like talking about Natalia.

"True, but the fact remains that it happened suddenly. And to your subconscious mind it might be the same" I could feel her gaze on me but I didn't answer.

It's not the same, Bella left, she wasn't missing.

"Did Bella tell you she was leaving?"

"No."

"Do you know where she is now?"

"No."

"Have people been bothering you about what happened?"

Again, I didn't answer.

"Then it seems to me like both these situations are very similar, at least from where you're standing" Her voice was calm but firm, she wasn't going to let this go. But she was wrong. " You went through a traumatic event back home, Eleonor, and now something similar has happened, leading to extreme stress."

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