A Wall Between

Chapter 35

The next morning Cooper woke up between Ellie and Abra, crawled out of bed without waking them, and went to get Piper for a morning jog. When he got back, Sasha was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, rumple haired and wearing his kitty pyjamas. Knowing every morning would be like this from now on sent a rush of joy through Cooper. He stripped his shirt off but left the rest of his clothes on as he waited for Sasha to finish brushing his teeth.

Sasha shamelessly checked him out and gave him a nod of approval before spitting into the sink.

After Cooper was showered and dressed in clean clothes, it was time to head out with Abra and do the last of the moving. They ran into Brian, their alcoholic neighbour, as they were carrying the washing machine down the stairs. He was either already tipsy or still drunk from the night before, but as usual he was friendly and he did his best to help them carry the washer. Once everything was loaded up, he gave them each a big hug goodbye.

Cooper had remembered to grab Sasha's plant, Herbert, and he held it on his lap as Abra drove.

Cooper wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel as they left the apartment building for the last time. It was objectively a pretty awful place, but it also held most of his happiest memories. It had been his first real taste of freedom, the first time he'd truly felt safe and happy and loved in his home.

But none of that had anything to do with the place. All of that had been because of the people he'd been with, and he'd brought them with him. Life was good.

Cooper's phone buzzed, and as he read the message he'd received, his stomach dropped. "Fuck. I have work today. I'm late. Misha just texted to ask where the fuck I am."

"Plug the address into your GPS," Abra told him. "I'll drop you off."

This was why Cooper preferred temp work. If he fucked up, it didn't matter so much. He'd have a fresh chance with a new set of people soon enough. Of course Misha, the lady whose job it was to chase him up whenever he forgot to show up, knew how scattered brained he was, but she didn't hold it against him too much.

Still, the whole thing had soured his mood. He knew he should forgive himself like he would anyone else. He knew that, from an empathetic outside perspective, it wasn't surprising that he'd be forgetful in the midst of everything that had been happening and it certainly didn't mean he was a bad person. It didn't even make sense for it to mean that he was a bad person. Still, he couldn't help but feel sick and awful and like a massive failure. Feelings often didn't make a whole lot of sense.

He made sure to buckle Herbert in securely before heading off to start work.

#

When Abra came back, he set Herbert on the kitchen counter and asked Ellie and Sasha to help carry the washer and dryer inside.

"Cooper had work," Abra explained as he undid the straps that had secured the appliances into the back of the ute.

"Oh," Sasha said. "Okay."

Sasha didn't really know how to feel about being around Abra and Ellie without Cooper. He'd spent about an hour with Abra yesterday, helping him cook, and that had been fine, but they'd mostly just been focussing on the food. Now Sasha felt like he should have something to say, but he still didn't.

He hoped they wouldn't think he was boring or aloof or unfriendly. Or bad at carrying washing machines, because it turned out he was pretty bad at that. It wasn't so much that it was too heavy as it was he had trouble figuring out where to grip it and how fast to walk and when to turn. By the time they had it in place, he felt like maybe Abra and Ellie would have been better off carrying it on their own.