His Heat

Twenty-Four: Pregnant

Twenty-Four: Pregnant

Damon had the answer, definitive and no less scary now that he knew for sure, sitting on the sink in front of him. He was still frozen on the edge of the tub though, sirens going off in his head.

Jun had read the instructions on every different box of pregnancy tests they bought so thoroughly you'd think he was the one carrying a kid, so he knew that enough time had passed for an answer to have been determined and softly knocked on the door.

"Damon?" he whispered, hesitant, and suddenly Damon had déjà vu.

He remembered Jun coming up to his door in Ganymede pack so long ago, hearing Damon knocking over the end table and wondering why he hadn't answered the door. Just like then, Damon was scared.

He wasn't scared of Jun's reaction. He knew Jun would be ecstatic. He was scared of everything that came after. But he couldn't put it off forever, so before Jun got it in his head to break the door down, Damon stood up and opened the door a crack.

Jun peeked through on one side; Damon peeked through on the other. They blinked at each other through the gap, both silent, but Jun knew what the test's outcome was without Damon having to say a word. He reached a hand through the gap and lightly ran his thumb under Damon's right eye, which was certainly sporting a dark circle.

"Come sleep," he said softly, and taking a nap sounded so damn good that Damon opened the door the rest of the way and practically fell into Jun's chest. Jun wrapped his arms around Damon and they shuffled like that to the bedroom across the hall. Jun was just so – ugh. So good. Damon didn't know what he'd done to deserve someone this perfect.

Jun gently rolled them into the bed and shut off the light, letting gentle darkness fall over them. Damon must have been a lot more tired than he thought he was, because he fell asleep almost instantly, wrapped in Jun's arms.

***

When Damon woke up, it felt less like the world was ending. He couldn't say that he was one hundred percent okay, but he felt more like a person and less like a zombie today. It felt manageable.

Part of that feeling stemmed from having Jun still wrapped around him like an octopus, sending waves of comforting pheromones over Damon and purring gently like a big cat. Now that he'd had a little more time to process, Damon's anxiety had less to do with the reality of being pregnant and more to do with having to tell everyone that he was. Telling the Hart family was no big deal – Jun would take care of that side of things and Damon couldn't imagine them being anything but happy for them.

It was Damon's family that he was worried about, and honestly, he was debating telling them at all. Sure, it was probably the right thing to do to let his parents know they were going to be grandparents. The problem was that Damon and his parents weren't really on speaking terms right now, and their grandchild was fathered by someone they hated.

Plus, it was really early. Damon wasn't showing at all, so he couldn't imagine being more than a month in. Probably less. Right? Damon wasn't sure exactly, but after thinking about it idly while waiting for the test to show a result, Damon remembered the prison incident and figured that might have been what did it. There was a good chance Jun didn't even remember that because he'd been so lost in the heat. Damon would bring it up later. Besides, he would have to actually physically see a doctor soon and they would be able to tell him how far along he was.

He hadn't even had his first doctor's appointment yet. So, Damon reasoned, he could hold off on making a decision to tell his parents about this or not. And, he told himself, whatever decision he ended up making, Damon knew he was perfectly justified in making it.

When Damon started to sit up in bed, Jun woke up right after, following after him with a sleepy pout and adorable bedhead. Now that his head was clearer, Damon felt a wave of appreciation for Jun's presence wash over him. If Jun weren't here, Damon didn't think he could handle all this. Sure, Damon was twenty-six, responsible, and financially stable for the most part. That didn't make him any more emotionally or mentally ready to have a kid.

But Jun was here. And Damon knew, despite Jun's confidence, that he was just as anxious about their impending parenthood as Damon was. The difference was, Jun was also really happy about it at the same time, and he was more focused on making sure Damon was okay right now, so whatever nerves he was feeling were manageable, or at least easy to hide.

That's not to say that Damon was unhappy. He just didn't quite know how to feel about it yet, and that, he reassured himself, was okay too.

Sleep-drunk, Jun absently rubbed his cheek over Damon's hair in a familiar motion. Damon was awake, but his body still felt asleep, so he sat there, mind in a fuzzy silence, and basked in Jun's warmth. After some time, Damon bumped his forehead into Jun's clavicle and murmured, "Do you know how to take care of a baby?"

Jun continued his rubbing, unconcerned. "No."

"Oh," Damon sighed. "That makes two of us, then."

Jun huffed a laugh against Damon's hair. "One step at a time."

Damon nodded, something fractured in his chest slowly mending. "Right. One step at a time," he repeated.

Jun was right. Damon had nine months to learn how to take care of a baby. There were much more pressing things to worry about right now. Like getting to the doctor and figuring out how far along he was. Getting all the super fun informational packets that pack doctors loved to put together and those special vitamins. All that riveting stuff.

"Will you come with me to tell Mark?" Damon asked quietly a few minutes later. "He has child-phobia. He'll probably freak out. You might need to smack him if he starts going weird."

Damon would do the honor of smacking him, but as the one carrying the child, Mark might run out of his reach.

"Gladly," Jun said, but there was no malice in it. Jun and Mark were silent bros – they understood each other on that bro wavelength where they didn't talk to each other but knew what the other was thinking anyway.

Telling Mark was an easy first step. Mark was Damon's best friend. And aside from vehemently warning Damon that he would NOT babysit, no way no how, Damon couldn't imagine Mark being anything but supportive. Mark would be like their training wheels. If Damon could bring himself to tell him, he could bring himself to tell everyone else. It was still scary. It felt like actually telling another person would really make it real. Like telling someone outside of the Jun-Damon bubble would manifest it.

Jun squeezed Damon's hand where it was resting in the sheets and asked him in a sleep-rasped voice if Damon wanted pancakes, to which Damon said yes please, with strawberries, and then Jun went downstairs in just boxers and a black tee, hair still ruffled wildly, and Damon felt that tight thing in his chest relax.

Damon couldn't process himself as a parent. But Jun? Jun was practically dad material from the moment they met, and weirdly, that made Damon feel lighter.

One step at a time. One step at a time.