marble and quicksand - a poem collection.

anxiety attack

my heart is in my throat 

im scared to say the words because

i might end up projectile-vomiting my heart out on the desk

i'd rather save myself that mess

you don't need to know everything

there is a black hole in my stomach that keeps growing and growing

there is a ball and chain tied to my intestines

i think they might just give way to the pull that is weighing them down

scared that i might be insane,

something bad is going to happen,

i can't shake the feeling that someone might be

watching me, HE might be watching me

reached out for help and got nothing

disappointed and lonely, scared that my intrusive thoughts will

make me commit a crime i didn't actually want to commit

i want to kill these feelings,

rip my throat out,

tie a rope around my neck and kick the bucket,

feel the blood dripping down my arms on the floor

die to feel alive again