The Thing About Samuel

Chapter Eighteen - Jason

Jason - August 2002

Jason watched as his dad's van pulled away and feigned confidence as his dad waved heartily, beaming with pride, as he turned his van to head back home.
​'Don't want them seeing you turning up in a work van do we?' his dad had said parking a good few metres back from the elaborate gates that opened onto the driveway of the Roberts', and Annabelle's, family home.
​Little did Jason's dad know, the comfort of a simpler life – the fact that their work van was the same vehicle that also took Jason to football matches, allowed his parents a larger family shop on the weekend at Asda with his mum loading up the back with numerous bags for life, and even the odd weekend break in Scarborough – was the only little thing keeping Jason's nerves steady at the moment.
​They had been to this house so many times in the last few months to work on the garden, but all of a sudden, being here not as a gardener, but as Annabelle's 'plus one' and boyfriend, the tall gates shielding the house from the private road seemed taller, the black front door grander, and the cars parked neatly on the forecourt more so expensive.
​Jason, armed with the ten pound bottle of wine purchased by his mum, despite his dad saying they should opt for Baileys as it just 'seemed posher' in his words, took one nerve-calming breath in, and pressed his finger into the silver door entry keypad by the gate. It beeped, and then a voice spoke.
​'Hello?'
​Jason swallowed, noticing how dry his mouth was, and then spoke.
​'Hi. It's Jason. Annabelle's-'
​The gate buzzed.
​'Thank you,' he offered to the silver box, not sure that anyone was still listening the other side.
​As Jason moved over the driveway and headed up to the ornate front door, he recalled the exact words that Annabelle had said to him only last week as they sat inside her writing shed.
​'It's a family dinner, and I'd like you to be there as... you know, my plus one.' Her eyes had glistened with excitement. They had been seeing each other for over a month now, and it was going well, but this was the first time he had been invited to the Roberts' family home without his dad. And suddenly, he felt more exposed than ever.
​'Yeah. Sure,' Jason had answered quickly but, even then, nervously.
​Annabelle giggled, as she often did when she picked up on Jason's obvious bouts of nerves. 'You'll be fine. Just be you.'
​'So...' Jason had leaned into Annabelle as they sat inside her summer house, or rather, the writing shed that he had built for her. 'Does 'plus one' mean... boyfriend?' he grinned, the nerves subsiding to a rhythmic excitement in his chest as her face neared his.
​'I'd like that... if you would?' she smiled, her perfectly white teeth lined by blush pink lips that right now, he just had to kiss.
​He would do anything to feel that kiss right now as he reached the door and secretly pleaded with fate to allow Annabelle to answer the door if he knocked.
On Jason telling his parents about the invite, his mum had instantly said that they had to buy him another new shirt and his dad had further added a tie which he loosened slightly now to allow the heat from his chest to escape into the cool summer air.
Taking hold of the silver ring knocker, he let it rap crisply against the door. A few moments passed, and then the door swung inward, and a familiar face stood there, but not Annabelle's.
​'Hi.'
​'Hi Jason. Come on in, Annabelle is just finishing getting ready upstairs,' Beverley smiled meekly.
​It was rare that Mrs Roberts answered the door. It was almost surprising that someone with such a slight frame and delicate tendencies could summon the strength to pull open the rather oversized front door – even Jason struggled at times.
​Though Annabelle hadn't said there was any kind of dress code, Beverley seemed somewhat relaxed in her large-knit, snowy jumper, her dark blue denim jeans, and her white trainers. Jason suddenly felt over dressed in his shirt and tie and started to loosen it around his neck as Mrs Roberts led him into the hallway and started up the stairs.
​'You can wait here, I'll let her know you're here.' She used her eyes to suggest that Jason should stay precisely where he stood and then moved her perfectly neat mousey brown hair aside, and then headed up the stairs. Jason turned to face himself in the large mirror framed ornately in gold leaf that filled an expanse of the wall above a black glass side table. Jason quickly wiped his forehead with his forearm and loosened his tie even more so.
​'Sod it...' he puffed as he placed the wine on the glass side table and whipped the tie from around his neck.
​'Whoa, steady there, Jase. Do it slower.' Ryan's voice was as confident and cheeky as ever, and Jason felt the heat of nerves swell through his whole body.
Please don't be topless, he thought. But still, he turned to look.
​Ryan was perched, arms folded on the bottom of the stair bannister, and clad in a black long-sleeved shirt that rolled up his neck and rest beneath his sharp jawline.  He smiled.
​'I was worried I'd overdressed when I saw Mrs Roberts.' Jason broke the awkward silence and the intense focus Ryan had on him. Jason became all too aware of the beating in his chest, and throat. He tried to play calm.
​'Depends who's looking. Maybe you are overdressed,' Ryan winked.
​'Jason!' Annabelle's sweet voice appeared as a cool fresh breeze cutting through the heated tension filling the hallway. He smiled, genuinely, both grateful for her arrival and at her beautiful appearance.
​As she hopped down the steps and past Ryan, her curled glossy hair bounced around the white ruffled shoulders of her dress that flowed down to her knees. Her eyes arched into smiles as she landed on the hallway floor and Jason felt her cool palms gently place on his forearms before she pushed up onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. He closed his eyes, to ignore Ryan's gaze and to savour the kiss from Annabelle.
​'You ready to go in?' Annabelle asked as she moved back away from him.
​'You were missing the show, Belle. He was just getting undressed for us.'
​'Oh behave, Ryan.'
​Jason quickly fumbled for the tie to place it back around his neck.
​'You won't need that, don't worry, Jason. It's only a small family thing.' She shrugged with a smile. 'Come on.'
​Annabelle confidently took hold of Jason's hand and led him back towards the kitchen. As they pushed through the doors, he became aware that what Annabelle and her family considered a 'small family gathering' was actually more a full-blown party.
​'We don't do anything small in this family.' Ryan's warm whisper tickled Jason's ear.
​'Are all these people family?'
​Annabelle laughed. 'Well, friends of the family and family. Let's get a drink first and then I'll introduce you to a few people. How's work been?'
​'Not bad. Dad's had a few calls, and Mum has basically become his PA. She has the poshest phone voice,' Jason grinned.
​'Aw, well I am sure a few people here will be checking out the garden tonight.'
​'How's writing going? Have you been in the shed today?'
​'Well... I started something new.' Annabelle's eyes glinted with excitement as she prepared two glasses and clinked a few cubes of ice into each.
​'Do tell.'
​'No, you'll think I'm crazy.' She shied away from him, not making eye contact as she reached for the bottle of Gordon's Gin nearby.
​'Why's that?' Jason asked, curious.
​'It's about a couple that fall in love in a garden one summer.'
​'Oh, is that true?' Jason leaned forward, arms folded and pressing into the quartz countertop as he eyed his girlfriend with intent.
​'Yes... and their future son, or daughter. I think son, I haven't decided yet.'
​'Oh... someone's keen,' he joked, and he saw Annabelle's cheeks flush.
​Instantly, he moved around the counter and placed his hands on Annabelle's slender waist and watched over her shoulder as she poured a fizzy pink liquid into the glasses and brought the ice cubes up to float around the rim. Annabelle broke off a few leaves from a nearby plant that sat in a geometrically patterned bowl and sploshed it into the top of the bubbling liquid.
​'I think it's cute. Tell me more.' Jason slowly moved in closer to Annabelle and then kissed her neck. She turned giddily and placed the glasses between them.
​'Try this,' she offered.
​Jason clutched the cool glass in his hand, lifted it up to his lips, and sipped. Over the brim of the glass he could see Annabelle observing him closely.
​As the liquid fizzed onto his tongue, the sharp pang of rhubarb followed by the drier tang of tonic filled his mouth. A whiff of mint from the leaves in the top tickled his nostrils.
​'Nice. Rhubarb-y.'
​'Yes, it's my new favourite.'
​'So, Rhubarb tea by day, and gin by night.'
​'Yep!'
​'Have you planned the book out?' Jason took another sip of his drink and then leaned against the kitchen island. Annabelle took a glug from her glass, and then pinched her chin as she thought.
​'They don't even have names right now. I don't want to tell you too much until I get going,' she answered.
​'Well I'm sure whatever you write will be amazing. I want to read it when you are happy for me to.' Jason paused for a second. 'I think it should be a son, by the way.'
​Annabelle smirked.
​'What?' He giggled.
​'I was thinking the same. He just needs a name, like his mum and dad.'
​'What are you two grinning about?' Ryan's voice broke through the moment once again.
​'Nothing,' Annabelle replied.
​'This is so boring. I can't listen to one of my dad's boring chats about strikes, or the Olympics, or whatever... Let's get drunk,' he grinned in an almost Cheshire-cat-like manner.

The evening progressed with Jason being introduced to various 'family' members as both 'Annabelle's boyfriend' and 'the boy that worked on our garden with his dad'. As the sky outside had moved from the bright blue of the day, and slowly allowed the inkier tones of the night to seep into its core, Jason found himself sat alongside Annabelle and Ryan, three half full glasses of pink gin and tonic placed on the glass dining table that sat on the patio section of the garden immediately outside the kitchen doors. A candle in a teal tinted vase sat central on the table and above their head, heat gently radiated from a tall patio heater encapsulating them in a bubble of warmth, shielded from the chilly evening air creeping in around them.
​'Have you two always been close?' Jason asked, his curiosity piqued and him being less hesitant several gin and tonics in – he was pretty sure Annabelle wasn't following any kind of measuring system for the gin as he had seen her throwing in a few capfuls into every glass adding one more for every round they drank.
​Annabelle and Ryan exchanged a glance and then burst into laughter before nodding.
​'Always,' Annabelle giggled from behind the blanket she encased her body in up to her chest where she lifted her glass to rest from the tabletop.
​'Yep. She's been my best friend as long as I've known.'
​'Nobody else would put up with your crap.' Annabelle leaned across and pushed Ryan's leg from the table. He effortlessly spun his legs round to meet and hung them over the side of his chair and looked to Jason.
​'You have any cousins, Jason?'
​Jason shook his head. 'Nope. Both my parents were only children.'
​'And no brothers or sisters too?' Ryan pressed.
​'Nope.'
​'Damn.'
​'Not as bad as it sounds. I've always been close to my parents, so I've never really noticed. And I have my football mates. Just means I never had to share anything,' Jason offered as a joke.
​'Must be boring though at times.'
​'I don't know. The solitary environment could be quite nice. I love stealing away to my writing shed away from everyone,' Annabelle stated honestly as she sipped from her glass.
​'Well you're boring too,' Ryan scoffed into his glass as he too took his drink from the table.
​Jason shrugged. 'I guess I don't get bored easily. I work with my dad too, so it's always been the same to me. Just us three. And now four,' He smiled genuinely at Annabelle. She blushed and shied further into her glass.
​'Ugh, you two are too cute. Makes me sick,' Ryan groaned.
​'Oh, shut up. Just because you don't have a boyfriend,' Annabelle mocked.
​'Who needs a boyfriend when yours gives me strip teases?' He slyly commented.
​Jason coughed into his glass as the cool liquid seemed to catch in his throat at Ryan's remark. 'You mean my tie? That was hardly a tease.'
​'There's more to come is there?' Ryan raised his eyebrows and then winked at Jason. He felt his own face warm; either that or the patio heaters had intensified by around one hundred degrees.
​'Leave him alone, Ryan. This one's mine,' Annabelle stated as she moved from her chair and gently lowered herself into Jason's lap. She then proceeded to push her soft lips against his and then turned to Ryan. 'All mine. I'll be right back, I need the loo. And I also know where my dad and mum keep their finest gin. But we can't be seen to be drinking it.' Her eyes moved up the garden to the writing shed that was surrounded by dimly glowing candles in hanging glass jars. 'I'll meet you in there.'
​'Sounds like a plan to me.' Ryan quickly grabbed his and Annabelle's glasses from the table and stood up.
​'Two minutes.' Annabelle's kind eyes comforted Jason as if she knew leaving him alone with Ryan would trigger the nerves to rekindle in his stomach. And they did. As she disappeared into the kitchen and further away from him, his abdomen began to bubble. Ryan gestured for Jason to follow him as he moved across the garden, his silhouette starting to blend with the shadows of the evening.
​'Come on, Jase. Nothing to be scared of,' he called, laughing to himself.
​Jason shook the nerves from his body and began to walk. Annabelle would be back any minute anyway. What was he scared of? Of what Ryan might do?
​As he moved off from the patio, the mumbled conversations between the adults seemed to dissipate to almost nothing, and as he reached the door of the shiplap clad writing shed, he found himself taking a deep steadying breath to shake the nerves currently arresting his body.
​Jason pulled open the door in feigned confidence to see that Ryan had already set himself up in Annabelle's writing chair with his feet up on her desk.
​'Finally,' he joked, as he threw a few cushions onto the floor and a blanket. 'You could've built in a few chairs for when guests visit couldn't you?'
​Jason laughed. 'It was meant to be a retreat for Annabelle to write. I didn't think she'd be wanting many guests.'
​Jason lowered himself tentatively onto one of the cushions.
​'Are you scared of me?' Ryan asked, and Jason couldn't help but notice a level of pride laced around his words.
​Jason shook his head. 'Not scared. More, nervous.'
​'Why's that?' Ryan instantly questioned.
​Jason thought for a second. Why was it that Ryan inspired such nervousness in him? Was it that Ryan was obviously the most important family member to Annabelle? Did he feel a need to ensure that Ryan liked him so that he and Annabelle had any chance of lasting? Or was it his dad's words around the idea that if their relationship went wrong it may affect the livelihood of his own family?
​Jason felt his heart starting to beat hard against his chest.
​'Jason?' Ryan leant forward and put a hand on his shoulder. He started to relax a little. Jason lifted his eyes to meet those of Ryan. This time, it might have actually been concern.
​Maybe the nerves weren't any of the above but maybe it was because Jason knew there was something about Ryan that he liked. Ryan embodied some of the traits he liked about his own person – the mildly athletic figure, the rugged jawline, the sound of his voice... but that's all it was, right?
​Ryan rolled his sleeves up revealing his lean arms and moved his hand to the back of Jason's neck, his other hand making it to Jason's chest, and soon Ryan was also on the floor.
​'Jason... you okay? Your heart is beating fast...' Ryan's voice genuinely seemed worried now. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.'
​Jason let two or three deep breaths move from the writing shed, into his chest and then slowly back out. Ryan was right there, in front of him. His eyes. His button nose. His lips.​
'It's fine,' Jason finally croaked, suddenly aware just how dry his own lips were.
He gulped and noticed Ryan hadn't moved back away from him. Ryan's fingers began to circle gently against Jason's neck.
'Ryan, I-'
Before Jason could react, or resist, he felt the pull of Ryan's arms as he was effortlessly lifted forward, and Ryan's face neared him. Jason's heart, beat. His eyes widened. Their lips met.