The Strays

Chapter Twenty-One

Jeremiah chased after me as I raced down the stairs and out of the front door, punching the wall of the building over and over again until the tears stopped and my knuckles bled, the skin peeled raw.

“I see you still have a problem safely expressing your anger.” He observed as he put a hand on my shoulder and sat me down.

“I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, I’ve punched things, but this feeling isn’t going away, it feels like I’m burning from the inside, and the only time it felt like it was easing was when I had a chain around Delilah’s throat, choking her. I am literally becoming one of the monster’s, one of the people I’ve been trying so hard to protect everyone from. I’ve killed before, you know that, but it’s never been something I desired, it was always out of necessity to save another, but Delilah, I wanted to kill her, if Sean hadn’t been there I might have. All I could see as I choked her were the faces of everyone she ever stole from me, my brother, Ty, Linc, Stitch, Willow, the little ones I used to help put to bed when Willow was too tired. I hate what I’m becoming, how easy it is for me to hurt people, no wonder my brother can hardly look at me, it’s because I’m not even me anymore.”

Jeremiah rolled his eyes with a sympathetic smile. “You’re too hard on yourself, it’s normal to be angry, especially with everything you’ve been through, but you have to remember not everything is your responsibility, it isn’t always your fault. I know you need to hold someone accountable, I understand that need, especially in times like these when there is no justice, you just have to remember that those feelings are just feelings and they are valid. You aren’t a monster for being angry or for expressing pain, it just makes you a human, flawed like the rest of us. At some point, you need to give yourself permission to forgive the mistakes you make, because your choices aren’t the only thing that affects the outcomes of a situation.”

“If only life was that simple.”

“It can be, but it’s a choice you have to make in your own time when you are ready, right now though, we need to work out what Delilah is up to, and how it is we’re going to stop her. Mac told me about what you said when you were threatened, and I know that you are in so much pain, but we need you, Sean needs you, so please, just come back inside and help me see this through to its end.”

I got to my feet and helped Jeremiah to his. Together we walked back inside, and I slipped my hands into my pockets not wanting anyone to see the state of my knuckles.

The group was congregated around the kitchen table, arguing rather loudly about what the next steps should be.

“Everybody shut the fuck up unless you actually have something useful to say.”

“And she’s back.” Colt smiled, stating the obvious.

“Congratulations on that wonderful insight, but I think everyone could already tell I was back, and it really wasn’t that useful.”

“Wraith, what did you say to her out there? She seems meaner and I think I prefer it.” Mac grinned.

“I guess this useless waffling is better than arguing at least, but can we please get back on topic? Sean, I need to know what you were working on in that lab, and what it had to do with Dad’s research, also how the hell did she know exactly what it was he was working on?”

“You know how Dad’s job was to find the source of the virus, and a means of reverse engineering it to create a cure?”

“Yes, but why would Delilah need that? The virus dies in the host, it’s gone.”

“Besides, a cure was near completion anyway, but it was too late for anyone to use it. My parents and a few other labs had samples that had been tested, a few had even started production, but the world kinda ended first, I don’t know what happened to the cures that were supposed to be distributed.” Ace quickly explained, trying to add some clarity.