The Donk In Our Waah

Work.

Waluigi awoke in his king sized bed, on a Thursday morning to the smell of burn toast and raw bacon.
He inhaled, taking the delicious smell in though his pink hooked nose. He threw the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Standing with a stretch he leaned down and picked up his clothes from the night before.
He giggled, thinking of the night he shared with his lover a few hours before. Waluigi quickly shoved his legs into his overalls and his arms though the purple turtleneck he wore beneath them.
He shoved his brown boots onto his feet without socks on and raced down the stairs of his new home. Waluigi walked into the kitchen, the delicious scents getting more fragrant with each step.
He crept up on his monkey man at the oven and wrapped his arms around his waist. He didn't react, simply turning his head to look at his "human" counterpart.
"And what're you doing up so early?" The Donk questioned.
"Just smelled this amazeballs brekky yoy whipped up!" The man smiled, fixing his stache.
Waluigi picked up whatever was in the piping hot pan and gulped it down.
Donk turned the stove off and took his hot pink apron off that looked like a maids dress. "Well, I have to head to work at Twitter HQ."
"So early?" Waluigi said, pausing from chewing raw bacon.
"Yeah uh, my boss isn't too happy with me taking so much time off of work..." Donk konk said, looking off to the side as he retied his tie in the mirror next to the front door.
"That was for our honeymoon, months ago though?" Waluigi argued. He never liked his boss babes coworkers or manager. They were real stupid idiots to waluigi.
  "You know how they are at Twitter Hq babe, I have to go now, see you when I get home." And that was all konk donk said before kissing his lover on the forehead and monkey vine swinging away to Twitter HQ.

  It was a few hours later and Waluigi was sitting on the couch watching a reality show of two twin sisters and their cockroach roommate, Ronal.
  The two sisters were trying to find a way to evict Ronal, even calling in their lawyer brother to come help out.
  It was around this time Waluigis phone rang. He paused his show and picked up the phone. It was his brother Wario. He answered and said "Hello?"
  "Just checken up on my loser of a brother, you know, I'm the greatest divorce lawyer to ever live. You should really do me the honor of divorcing you and that stupid doodoo head of a husband, I'll give you a family discount, and a first customer discount."
  He hung up the phone. He knew his brother didn't like donker konker but offering to divorce them. It baffled Waluigi.
  Waluigis mind began to wander about his kitten mitten donky wonky king konky. Why was he in at work so early, and so late?
  He got angry for no reason and threw his phone out the window, hitting a woman dressed in a pink dress covered in blood. She shouted at him, but stopped and ran when a cop with a name rhyming with "Wario" began chasing her.

  Waluigi became concerned with the sudden mood swing, he'd never done that. But at the same time he'd never craved burnt toast and raw bacon before either. What was going on?