ocd || knj

chapter twenty: dani pov

I swallow, shaking my head as I watch the buildings, people, and cars whizz past the window. I sink my body even further somehow into the leather seat, wishing hard that I could be in my bed with the lights off, ignoring my alarm right now like I should be under Indiana time.

I look up and see JC turned around, his eyes on me but I quickly look back down, squeezing and rubbing at my wrist as I look at the door next to me.

The lock is on.

But if Will so much as bumps his door, mine could unlock and someone could get in.

Or he could trigger my window to open.

Aren't Teslas like online? Could someone hack it and get my door open?

No, Dani. No.

You're being ridiculous.

No one that important wants to kill you.

Teenage girls. Like JC said. Just teenage girls.

I close my eyes, trying to keep my exhales steady but I can feel the pressure building in my chest as we turn down streets in more familiar patterns.

We're getting close.

Back to the closest place to home I have.

Or at least what used to feel that way.

"Yo Dani, you excited to be back? Get to spend some time with all of us, y'know..." Crawford breaks the long-standing silence in the car, making me jump, my head jerking back to look at him as I try to process what he said,

"Oh, um... I d-don't know if, um, y'know 'excited' is the... the word, but I've missed... All of you! All of you, a lot," I feel like I'm almost squeezing a smile onto my face as I raise the pitch of my voice, trying to sound at least somewhat normal and enthusiastic for the other passengers of the cars' benefit. I swallow nervously and turn around after seeing the look Nezza and Crawford share which Crawford tries to disguise with a comforting smile, now seeing JC looking back at Brian who is mouthing something at the former and JC is shaking his head. I look down at my shoes and then back out the window as Will speaks,

"We're, um, we're almost there. You might want to text someone, somebody." Brian nods, his hands now on either side of JC's headrest when I spare a glace to my right, also noticing JC's lingering eyes on me. I clench my jaw, but ignore him, trying to focus on the never ending feeling that someone is watching through the window, even though everyone outside is probably minding their own business.

I know that. I can admit that. That's good.

Unless I didn't notice someone.

I try to inconspicuously move my head back towards the window, as quickly as possibly, before glancing up and down the neighborhood streets. It's early in the morning, and we're in LA, so there aren't a lot pf people, but I saw someone jogging a bit ago, a few people walking dogs, and at least a few cars have passed us.

I always forget how quiet it is around here in the morning, because at school, or even back home, it's never like this.

I'm in LA.

Just over 24 hours ago, I called my brother, terrified.

And now I'm equally scared, just with my brother in a car.

Will's car. I missed Will, and Dyl, and Oscar, and Brian, and everybody. Will was so nice when I got in, but he seemed... weird. He kept looking at me, but so is everyone else. I understand I guess, JC's sister went psych and has to live with him at 20.

I feel like I hardly know what's under my feet.

I can't even... No. I'm done.

I glance up at JC, seeing his fingers flying on the keyboard of his phone.

I hugged him earlier. I hugged all of them, even Chloe and Cara and I couldn't even let them touch me ten minutes before.

When I actually saw JC, my brother, who has kept me safe all my life... all of the unsafe feelings that physical touch bring back just left completely and the craving I used to have for it came back. It was almost like an adrenaline high hit me, but I can feel myself getting tired now and it wearing off. I didn't even sleep on the plane.

I can't sleep. I can't even now. I agreed to come but I shouldn't have. I just knew I couldn't argue with JC. I'm in the most dangerous place I could possibly be right now.

I need to keep my eyes open.

I feel the car slow down, making me lightly shake my head to refocus. I don't move my eyes though from the headrest in front of me when Brian speaks up,

"Uhm, Dani we're here, do you want us to go in first, maybe leave someone out here with you, or do you wanna just get out with us?"

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Let me know what you think of this story so far, and what you think of Dani!

thank you guys so much for reading if you've gotten though twenty chapters :)