Free Fall

: Chapter 19 : Soft Boy Aesthetic

Chapter 19

Soft Boy Aesthetic

(Unedited)

The revelation of how Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker that he is his father is exactly how the feeling of being caught by Dryden had felt. I hope he doesn't tell my parents about my sexual orientation, as the big cinematic reveals. The comparing line of how Obi-Wan Kenobi tells the soon to be Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, as he screams his agony of how Anakin had been the Chosen One plays over in my head.

Was this where I had been Obi-Wan and had the higher ground? In a moment like this, how could I even ponder desolate memories of when I watched Star Wars with Dryden as we often did when I was a kid?

"You should know he's a drug addict," Dryden tells me, not even bothering to take the time to wonder to who I had sent the message. It couldn't be true. From what I knew of addicts, which wasn't much, he had shown no signs. Addicts threw signs. As it was, Christian did nothing of the sort.

"How would you know that? Did he tell you that himself?" I ask Dryden fervently, as my uncontrolled anxiety reaches its peak of taking control of being in charge. If it were true, I'd want to hear it from Christian himself; as Luke Skywalker himself had heard the reveal that Darth Vader is his father. It's the silence that Dryden gives off that confirms my assumption.

The crimson accusation stings like a poignant knife stabbing through my veins as moments pass before either ‌of us speaks to another.

"Do I need to justify the obvious?" Dryden asks me sharply as I change the Star Wars scenario into my head. I couldn't compare myself to anyone or anything outside the real world. At the moment, I'm Luke Montgomery, a sinner to some religious societies, all mixed up with feelings, and just posted a clip on Instagram for everyone who followed the tags on Instagram that I had said yes to being Christian's boyfriend. There was no justifying the statement that Dryden had just been accused.

"Jesus Christ, Dryden, where did you get that idea?" I defend the dyed curly-haired boy I had finally figured out how I had run the obstacles of feelings with, as I now realise that I was too afraid to turn my phone back on.

"Either you believe me, or you don't, but I saw your boyfriend doing heroin in the bathroom," Dryden tells me, as I feel the veins and muscles do their jello magnetic feeling. The feeling of handicapped anxiety I hated most. How was I supposed to defend Christian if anxiety took over me every time we mentioned his name when he wasn't around?

"He's not my boyfriend!" I say; the words echoing inside my head as I feel what I had just said. Lying to someone who was supposed to be my childhood friend, though we were falling apart from each other. A simple reminder that in less than a year away, he'd be in separate colleges. Him in North Carolina, and I am in Boston.

"Right, you're into the soft boy aesthetic," Dryden tells me as his green eyes look in my direction. Somehow, his eyes seem different from what they had been earlier. Instead of a happy, grungy aesthetic Dryden, they showed a different Dryden.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask him sharply. Was Dryden jealous? Could that possibly be it? If so, he had absolutely nothing to be jealous of. Dryden has been my best friend through a lot of personal conflicts, as I had met Christian only a month and a half ago. Comparing the two; I had no interest, sexual or any crush wise desire to kiss Dryden. Whereas I had already done half that to Christian.

"Exactly what is supposed to sound like," Dryden tells me, as we can hear my parents enter the house downstairs, as they banter about the day or ‌possibly what's for dinner. Either way, my biggest confession is now being held together by Dryden and our years of complicated friendship as he sets the perfect setup for making it look like one of our middle school days of studying. A perfect plotline was set up for my parents, believing that's what we were talking about.