Who the Ever-Loving F*** Made Me A Prince?

Don't look at a gift horse in the mouth

Tommy is completely and utterly fucked. While that is a crass and maybe tasteless way to start this, it's also the simplest and most informative way one could express his grievances.

For one, he isn't stupid. While it's true that currently life hasn't been as, you know, perilous as it usually is, with the entire 'destined to doom' thing Tommy has been handling, there's only so much good that can happen for a while. That's how the palace is. Tommy, in his four, almost five years of living in it, is aware that something is off.

It hasn't even been a day when he's been introduced to the new Palace Courtiers and his Personal Royal Guard, when Tommy realized that not only did Technoblade send over an entire platoon of palace servants, he had also done the courtesy of thinning out the population.

He replaced his old maids!

Fortunately, all except Clara, but still! His hard work. He trained them not to steal his gold and now he can't even trust these people to know anything about how he had trained the old servants to run this palace! Tommy doesn't even have his old tools anymore. He's older, so they can't just pass anything wrong with Tommy as 'simple childish whims' anymore, not like when he was three and was testing out the languages and idioms that run this place.

But really, that was not what takes the cake. No. What takes the cake is that he had been given Sam.

Tommy had initially thought that this was something good. A peace offering. Something to tell Tommy that no, Technoblade is no longer trying to kill him, and yes, he is seen as actual royalty.

No, no, no. Tommy sees through this. He can see through the awed expressions of everyone around him while they see him and Sam interact and hold hands like this adorable pair of an old sibling figure and a childish baby.

Sam was a fucking ticking time bomb.

Day one into being guarded by Sam, and already he's got this dog by his heels every damn time. He's never alone. Not one second outside of his own bedroom. Tommy had not really thought anything wrong with Sam, at that point in time. He had been the one to bring Tommy home last time, when he had nearly drowned in a lake, and had wrapped him in his own cloak too.

And the thing is, there's no malicious intent. None! Every time Tommy turns around, he'd almost see Sam with a wagging tail and puppy ears. What is this. What is this challenge that Technoblade set him up for?

So that's the first day. Nothing wrong. Nothing off. Just that there is now this wall that's shielding himself from his demise. He must have found himself a substitute for Captain Puffy from the novel, so Tommy makes sure to still keep a sharp eye on the events to see if there were too much things that coincide with the original plot.

Nothing, of course, on the first day that is.

Day two, much like day one, was uneventful too, but Tommy found himself very much conflicted. Sam is a delight, truly. Tommy's attention deprived subconscious preens under his attention (not that he would admit it. He would never admit such a shameful thing.)

He can't be alone, and he still needs to store his treasure, and he needs to do it soon because he doesn't know what the new cleaning schedule is. So here he is, walking to his study where he's to meet a professor to continue their lecture on politics. Normally Tommy would have this time free, because he's given some leeway between lessons and when he has to move from the study to the ballroom or to the music room.

Tommy's been looking forward to it. He's been carrying his gold on him so he could finally transport them to his hiding locations.

So he moves to his Imperial Politics lecture with a skip in his steps and glee in his stride.