Birds Of a Feather

23. All night long [part 3]

The evening went on pretty well and, with one thing and another, they stayed up till dawn.
The high-spirited group of people finally went out of the pub and made for the van, everybody not exactly in their right mind: the role of driver and lifesaver was assigned to Eddie because, paradoxically, he was the most sober of them all.
However, the challenge turned out to be more difficult of what was expected, due to the incredible mess that the other guys were making.
The presence of Layla and her denim mini on the passenger seat also didn't help the singer's concentration – even if it had extremely increased his delight – and another tragedy was the two guitarists sitting in the middle seats, probably because Stone didn't want to lose the opportunity to take the piss out of Eddie and his obvious crush on the girl next to him.
Last but not least, Jeff was miraculously able to reach the van and collapse in the back seat, while Sara took her place next to him with extreme reluctance, grumbling for her rotten luck.
"Where the fuck are you going, man?! I told ya to turn right!"
"But you have just told me to go straight on, Stone..."
"Are you fuckin' questionin' my words?"
"No, I'll never dare to do that"
"Good, otherwise me and Jeff... we're gonna fire you, ya know?" Gossard leaned out from his seat, looking for the bass player's support "Am I wrong, Jeffy?"
"Where the hell does this fuckin' light come from?" Jeff slurred, his face literally pressed on the window, and then resumed to fall into a deep sleep.
"Holy shit, nice company you saddled me with! The Sleeping Beauty in ethylic coma, how sweet of you!" Sara shouted, than slapped the bass player "And close this fuckin' mouth, you're simply disgusting!"

♣♦♣

Eddie cursed himself for not making them all sleep in the van and taking a cab back home.
<Layla and me, that would have been ever better>
In the meantime, from the corner of his eye he noticed the girl was stretching a little and rubbing her eyes under the glasses.
"Oh, we woke you up" Eddie said without looking at her directly.
"I'm so sorry, Ed, I was supposed to keep you awake! I'm not the best of company tonight" she admitted and then let out a little yawn, shifting in her seat a little.
<Your legs are gonna keep me awake for a looooong time, trust me>
"It's cool, you can take a little nap if you want, the guys in the back are keeping me good company" he replied ironically and it took seconds before Mike started another ranting:
"Oh fuck, change that fuckin' radio station, Ed! This song is shit"
"It's not that baaaaaad" Stone slurred.
"Where the fuck does this fuckin' light come from?!" Jeff repeated for the umpteenth time.
"Vedder, please, I already have to deal with these unbearable drunk assholes, I can't handle this shit with fuckin' Madonna telling me to strike a fuckin' pose!" Sara whined too, trying to slap the bassist.
"See?" Eddie snorted and changed the radio station, nervously searching through the frequencies until he found Been Caught Stealing by Jane's Addiction, which everybody in the van agreed on.
"Shit, turn those fuckin' lights ooooff" the bass player faintly mumbled, bobbing his head in time with the song's catching melody.
"I love this song!" Layla chirped enthusiastically and the singer stole glances of her dancing in her seat.
<A loooong looooong time...>

♣♦♣

Eddie made the umpteenth U-turn after going into the wrong direction again, following Stone and Mike's confused directions.
Exasperated, he reached out for his pack of cigarettes in the glove compartment on Layla's side, always keeping his eyes on the street. He took one and was about to light it up when somebody's hand stole the cigarette from his lips.
The singer rolled his eyes, ready to swear at his bandmates, then turned around and saw Lalyla holding the cigarette with a big pout on her face.
"Uh uh, no smoking" she whispered, slowly shaking her head.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot you don't" he coily smiled and slipped the pack and the lighter into his jacket's pocket.
"You shouldn't smoke for your own good, not because of me" she remarked, staring at the cigarette and turning it over in her hands.
"I know..." 
He usually hated this kind of reprimands about his smoking habit, or about any of his bad habits, and if it wasn't Layla at this point he'd have already lit up five cigarettes, eagerly smoking them all at the same time, blowing smoke rings in her face.
<But she's so sweet, and persuasive>
"It's not good for your health..." the girl went on and opened the window a little "and for your beautiful voice"
"Yeah... well, thanks! Anyway, you know, I don't smoke that much..." Eddie tried to defend himself but someone else felt the need to chime in.
"WHAT?! This guy here smokes like a fuckin' chimney, lemme tell ya!" Stone's face briefly appeared next to the girl's headrest.
"Hahaha, you should see him during practice, the bastard puts out one and seconds later lights up another. He's a fucking two-packs-a-day chain smoker!" Mike added from the seat he was sprawled out onto.
"That's bad" Layla said giving him a scolding look.
<... Extremely sexy scolding look>
"Hehe, that's-that's not true, they always tend to overdramatize" Eddie said and suddenly felt guilty.
"Well, you're not smoking this one anyway" she stated and threw the cig out of the window, closing it right after, then turned to face him again with a huge smile on her face.
"Ehm. no, I suppose..." he gripped the steering wheel really tight.
<I'd usually kill for much less than that>
"You won't smoke anymore tonight, just promise me, ok?" 
"Well, I could easily say yes, given that it's not night anymore" he smirked.
"Come on, you know what I mean!" she insisted "Promise me you won't smoke until you wake up, later"
"What?! You mean no goodnight-smoke?" he asked, terror-stricken.
"I know you can!" 
"I can... if I smoke one right now maybe I can resist somehow" he said and searched for the fags in his pocket.
"No way! If you dare, I'll steal the whole pack from you and throw it away" she threatened and slightly opened the car window again to scare him.
<Uhm... she's supposed to lay her hands on me to do that... it'd be interesting>
"Ok, I'll try not to smoke" 
"I can't sleep with these fuckin' lights!!" the bass player shouted again from the back.
"Great!" Layla merrily clapped her hands and cheered.
"... I said I'll try, I can't assure you anything"
<Hormones 1 – Smoke habit 0: Vedder, you're a lost cause>

♣♦♣

"Turn these lights off or I swear to Dee Dee Ramone that I'm gonna murder ya all..." Jeff mumbled for the umpteenth time, unable to find a comfortable position for his precious nap.
"It's 3 A.M., my lessons start at 8 o' clock and I can't skip them, this afternoon I'm also gonna have my shift at the record store and by now I should be in bed... Instead, where the fuck am I? Stuck in the middle of nowhere, forced to be at the mercy of a Californian spineless driver, a health fanatic, a couple of fuckin' crazy guitarists without any fuckin' sense of direction and a drunk asshole who hasn't already understood that 'the fuckin' lights' are commonly known as 'dawn'... Great, that's fuckin' great" Sara rubbed her temples and let out a sigh of resignation, then suddenly recognized the sign of a pub and immediately regained consciousness and energy "Mr. California, turn left! I know that street, it's a shortcut for our palace, trust me"
"Are you sure, Sara? I don't think this is goin' to be a good idea..." her best friend wasn't convinced about her indication, and Stone wasn't as well.
"Don't listen to her, Vedder! Take the opposite way, turn fuckin' right!" he added, while the other guitarist gave reason to Sara.
"Turn these fuckin' lights off, otherwise I'm goin' to stick 'em up your fuckin' arses!" the bass player intervened again, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
"EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR I'M GOIN' TO STICK THE FUCKIN' LIGHTS, THE WHEEL, MY FUCKIN' CIGARETTES AND ALSO THIS WHOLE SHITTY VAN INTO YOUR FUCKIN' ASSES, UNDERSTOOD?!" Eddie finally shouted and slammed on the brakes, his eyes popping out of his head and his hands intent on gripping the wheel.
The braking made everybody toss around the van and, when all of them had been able to straighten themselves out, an awkward silence fell into the van.
However, the car radio promptly started to play the epic Devo's success better known as Whip It and, without even realizing it, soon after everyone was singing the song out loud, forgetting the previous accidents and making their way to their homes, sweet homes.