Birds Of a Feather

6. My heart's spinnin' round like a washing machine

6. My heart's spinnin' round like a washing machine
(never saw the devil look so damn clean)

The next day Jeff was sitting in the kitchen, distractedly having breakfast.
<That little bastard...> he thought, remembering the poor figure he had cut the night before.
He towered over her – almost 6 inches divided them – but she wasn't scared at all. He clearly remembered the wave of anger that had gone through his body when he had seen her appear in the middle of his living room.
She was standing there – with her brown hair tied in a ponytail and wearing a Led Zeppelin hoodie, joggers and sneakers – perfectly aware of her domestic outfit yet at ease with it, and clearly challenged him.
He was usually a quiet guy, but his patience had its limits, and so he decided to kick her out: that was one of the biggest mistakes he had made in his 27 years of life.
Rage had suddenly darkened Sara's brown eyes as she had hit him with a perfect slap that he could still feel... then she completed her badmouthing and finally went out, leaving him totally humiliated and pissed off.
Jeff's thoughts were interrupted by the noise of a soaked biscuit that had just fallen into the bowl.
"OH, FUCK IT! THIS IS ALL HER FAULT, THAT BITCH IS DOING SOME FUCKIN' SPELL TO RUIN MY LIFE" he shouted, trying to rescue the biscuit from a milk-drowning.
"What happened?" Eddie greeted him with a curious smile.
"Nothing, just a shitty morning after a shitty night" was Jeff's answer, after he had decided to let go his rescue mission.
"Uhm, ok" said Eddie, now questioning his roommate's sanity "Anyway, I was going to the laundry room... Have you got something to wash?"
"Oh, are you going to do the laundry? What a perfect housewife!" his friend exclaimed, finding a bit of good humour.
"Yeah: theoretically the washing machine is the one that will work but... yeah, I'm in the mood"
"Fine: lemme get my shit together, my chairs are full of clothes" Jeff added, running into his room and trying to separate the presentable clothes from the ones that smelled like death.

♣♦♣

"FINE, I'LL BE BACK SOON! YOU HAVE TO MAKE A GOOD LUNCH, I'LL COME BACK REALLY HUNGRY" Eddie shouted to his pal, then went out his apartment with a clothes hamper.
Little did he know that, behind the other door, his perfidious neighbor was checking his moves.
<Oh, mr. Coronation Street is going to do the laundry... How sweet! Gotta fuck up everything, it's my duty> she thought, then racked her brains to find a way to fulfill her despicable aim.
The solution fell out of the sky when Layla appeared on the horizon, making Sara grin with satisfaction.
"Hello, El! Is everything fine?"
"Yeah, just a bit of incomprehension with David, but we're workin-" she cautiously answered, not reassured by her friend's unusual smile.
"C'mon, don't talk about that fucker!" Sara interrupted her, then innocently smiled "That Eddie guy... he was looking for you, d'ya know?"
"What? Really?" Layla's eyes immediately lit up and her friend grinned: she had her in her pocket.
"Yeah, he stopped by and asked me if you were here, 'cause he needed to tell you something, and then he went to the laundry room... I think you should catch up with him"
"Are you serious?"
"Have I ever been not serious?"
"All the time."
"Well, thanks for putting your trust in me!" Sara crossed her arms and faked an offended face, waiting for her friend's surrender.
"Ok, I'm sorry... I... I gotta go, maybe it's an important thing and-"
"Yeah, it'll be better to not make time run by... maybe it's a compelling thing and he could forget-"
"Ok, see ya soon!" Layla exclaimed, running down the stairs.
<Hypnotists can clearly suck my balls...> Sara thought, then returned into her apartment, her mind already focused on refining her evil plan.

♣♦♣

<I hope he doesn't want to talk again about buying me new glasses, I told him everything's cool... Oh shit, I don't even have make-up on!> Layla thought as she was going down the stairs to the laundry room.
When she opened the door she was welcomed by the view of Eddie bent down in front of one of the washing machines, taking clothes out of a hamper.
She waited for him to stand up before saying something and revealing her presence. And before starting to breathe again.
"Ehm... hi!" she said, still standing at the door.
"Hey!" Ed turned around and a big smile spread across his face as he saw it was her.
<That's cute> he thought as he looked at her hair, gathered in a messy braid on one side.
"Laundry, huh?" she smiled, walking towards him, but at the same time winced a bit.
The sunlight coming from the large window in the room was bothering her, so she turned her back to the window to face Eddie while they were speaking.
"Yeah, I'm the housewife of the day!"
Only then he realized he was holding a pair of boxers – his embarrassing Star Wars boxers – and had been holding them in his hands the whole time, so he tossed them immediately into the washing machine.
"What's up, then?" Layla asked, curious to know what he wanted to tell her.
"Uhm, everything's fine... you know, writing songs, practising and stuff. And we also played our first show"
"Oh, really? How did it go?"
"I can say we were pretty good" Eddie admitted.
"Great!"
<Is this what he needed to tell me immediately? Nah, I don't think so...>
"And what about you? How's it going?" he asked her.
"It's alright, thank you! Well, now I'm a little tired because of my night shift" she replied.
"Huh, it's a 24h video shop, then?" he asked, resuming his work of separating colored clothes from the white ones and putting them into the machines.
"Hehehe no, that's another job. A night shift at the hospital" she explained.
"Hospital? Are you a doctor?" Ed asked surprised.
"Yeah, I mean, almost. I'm studying. Didn't you know? I guessed Jeff had told you something, he rarely misses an opportunity to make fun of me..."
"No, he hadn't. Fun of you? Why? You study medicine, that's great" he said.
<A doctor, I should have known... A little out of you league, Vedder, don't you think? The doctor and the high school drop-out musician, that doesn't sound good>
"Veterinary medicine, to be exact"
"Oh you're a vet! That's cool"
"Almost, I'm studying" Layla repeated and smiled again.
<Lucky pets> he thought and smirked.
Layla was now expecting Eddie to talk and say what he wanted to tell her but he stood silent and kept doing his laundry.
"So... I'm here now" the girl resumed to talk, stretching her arms.
"I see..." he remarked, looking at her.
"Uhm isn't there something you wanted to tell me?"
"What?" he said perplexed.
<Were my moves that blatant? I didn't even start making moves yet> he pondered.
"Yeah, Sara told me that-"
"Oh, Sara told you about yesterday's party..."
"Party?" she asked, not having the slightest idea of what he was talking about.
"Yeah, we were loud and it was late, Sara had all the reasons to be angry"
"Is that all?" she asked, starting to suspect something.
"Well, actually I didn't have the chance to apologise to her and-"
"... Haven't you met Sara today?" Layla asked.
A few seconds later her friend peeped out of the door, behind Eddie's back.
She gestured Layla to be silent, with her index finger on her lips.
"Ehm no... and maybe it's safer for me if I don't meet her" he giggled as he was pouring soap powder in the washing machines.
At that point Sara stuck her tongue out towards him and, as Eddie was not looking, Layla tried to catch her attention to know what she was up to.
Sara ignored her silent requests and sneaked in the room behind Eddie, who had just closed the portholes shut and was now facing Layla again.
"Uhm well, I'll tell her you're sorry, haha! Don't worry" Layla went on pretending nothing was happening.
She noticed Sara's old red Kiss t-shirt in her friend's hand and immediately understood what she wanted to do.
Layla would have stopped her but, at the same time, she didn't want her friend to be caught. So backing her up was the only choice.
"Thank you, Layla" he said and was about to turn around and turn the machines on, at the very moment Sara was opening one of them and tossing her t-shirt in it.
Layla had to think fast: the best she could do was putting her hands on his upper arms to stop him.
"Eddie!" she almost yelled.
"Y-yes?" he muttered.
"Uh... I wanted to ask you something, can I?" she went on locking her eyes with his to prevent him from turning around and see what Sara was doing.
"Sure" he smiled embarrassed.
"I'd like to... listen to some of your music, you know. I can't ask Jeff because he'd tell Sara and Sara would get pissed. Don't you have any tape or something?" she grinned at him like a fool.
<I'm sorry, Ed... well, I'm not entirely kidding you though, I'd like to hear you for real>
"Oh yeah, I have my demo and some kind of home recordings we did at our rehearsal space...if you want" he answered, feeling flattered by Layla's request.
"Thank you!" she said relieved, 'cause her friend had just got out of the room after committing her crime.
"You can also come see us live sometimes, I mean, as soon as we have a date..." he continued as Layla let go of him and was about to leave.
"Oh well, I'll see... let me know about the next gig, ok?" she nervously answered, standing on the door.
"Sure!"
"Gotta go, bye!" the girl stormed out of the room and run up the stairs, chasing Sara and yelling at her. "ARE YOU CRAZY??"

♣♦♣

"Ehm, Jeff?" Eddie had just got back to their loft after doing the laundry and had called his roommate, trying to find the right words.
"Yeah" Jeff answered, not looking at him as he was preparing to go to work.
"I got bad news"
"Huh?"
"I don't know how it happened but..."
Jeff lifted up his head and finally saw Eddie, scratching his head with a hand, while the other one was holding a hamper full of pink clothes.
"WHAT THE FU-"
"I don't know, I didn't notice this one in the washing machine when I started putting stuff in it" Eddie explained, taking a red Kiss t-shirt from the basket and showing it to Jeff.
He immediately recognized it.
"Was... was Sara in there doing laundry too?" Jeff asked, clenching his fists in anger.
"Oh no, she wasn't! Not at all! It wasn't her fault! Oh, I met Layla though, but I'm sure she couldn't-"
Eddie couldn't finish his sentence because Jeff was already out of their loft, knocking hard on Sara's door.
Nobody answered.
"OPEN THE DOOR! I KNOW YOU'RE IN" he shouted.
"Oh, the dumbass just woke up! And it seems in a bad mood..." Sara joked from the inside.
"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR"
"What's wrong now?" she slightly opened the door, and Jeff tried to open it wide but it had a chain.
"I found your gift, thank you so fucking much!" he said, waving the t-shirt towards her.
"Hey! That's my old Kiss t-shirt! I've been looking for it for ages, I searched everywhere! Where was it?" she grabbed her t-shirt through the narrow opening of the door.
"Don't even-"
"Oh, you also washed it! How sweet of you! I should really change my mind on your behaviour" she told him and shut the door.
"Don't even try to fuck around with me, Sara! I know you did it"
"Well, it's not that bad..." Eddie said behind Jeff's back, holding Jeff's favorite t-shirt "Pink is quite fashionable now, you know"
"HE ALREADY KNOWS, IT'S BEEN HIS FAVORITE COLOR THROUGHOUT THE 80s!" Sara shouted from the inside of her loft "Why don't you tell him about your glorious pink spandex pants, Ament?"
"Open that fuckin' door!" Jeff insisted, resolved to kick his neighbor's ass... and his singer's right after that.
"Hello, dear wolf! Did you see that my house was built in bricks? You can blow and knock as much as you like, but it won't come down.. you won't fool me like you did with those stupid pigs!"

{ title credits: Washing Machine by Sonic Youth }