Sach hote Khwaab

Decisions

It was a merry, sunshiny morning. And I lay snuggled in my blanket, staring at my sleeping husband.
Chirruping birds had woken me up a few minutes earlier.
I slithered in more towards him and turned on the pillow towards him.
I lifted an arm to touch his face but withdrew it when it was inches away. I was glad that he was sleeping but why was he sleeping?! I sighed.
After what felt like minutes his eyelids twitched a bit. Startled, I shut my eyes firmly.
There was no movement or sound for a long while. I opened an eye, a teeny-weeny bit and caught him gazing at me with a dreamy smile. I buried my face in the pillow impishly. I was so drunk on this smile he gave me.
He pulled me closer as I caught my breath, looking into his eyes. He kissed my cheek tenderly and lingered there for a while. I nestled against him when drifted off to sleep again.

*

I got dressed in a purple salwar-kameez paired with a white dyed duppatta and rushed downstairs with my bag. It was seven. I had to leave for college within half-an-hour. I had placed Randheer's essentials- watch, wallet, handkerchief at the dressing table, but I had no intention of waking him up this early every day. I was at the foot of the stairs when I saw Yash coming in, all sweaty, with a bunch of papers in his hand.
As soon as he saw me, he rushed forward and clasped my hands. 'Bhabhi!! Aap jaanti hai aap practice par itna maza aaya! Itna maza aaya! Main kya bataun! Itne kareeb se maine sabko khelte hue dekha!! Uday bhaiya! Uday bhaiya kya khelte hain!! Aur Balbirji! Main toh dang hi reh gaya! Aur ye dekhiye', he showed the autographs. 'Maine sabke autograph bhi le liye hain! Aur sab aap jaanti hai! Sabko main yaad tha! Sabko!! Ah Bhabhi aaj ki toh baat hi aur thi!!', he exclaimed with delight. I gave him a bright smile.
'Aapka bohot bohot shukriya bhabhi!'
'Isme shukriya ki kya baat hai. Aapko maza aaya na! Bas wahi bohot hai!', I replied chirpily. He gave me a pleased smile.
'Acha Bhabhi! Vashma bhabhi ne kehlwaaya hai ki aap pandrah minute mein unhe bahar miliye. Woh aapka intezaar karengi.'
'Thik hai. Tussi vi araam karlo! Bade savere uth gaye the!', I replied.
He nodded and proceeded to guest room in the right of the baithak.

I sat down for my pooja, daily prarthna and paath of Ram Charit Manas, covering my head with my dupatta.
After pooja, I brought out the Ram Charit Manas. Bauji used to say that even though we were tight on schedules, we should read it every day. Just eleven chaupaayis a day would suffice. It hardly took ten minutes and we got the strength to go through every ordeal. As Ramji would have it, we may even stumble upon a life lesson.

After completing it, reverently I closed the granth, covered it with a red silk cloth and getting on my knees, touched my head to the ground.

'Amrit', came Mamiji's voice from behind me.
'Ji Mamiji?', I replied softly, straightening up and turning.
'Tum zara mere saath aao. Kuch baat karni hai', she said, gesturing towards the guest room. I knew this was about Keerti. I had been meaning to talk to her but didn't get the opportunity yesterday. I nodded obediently and followed her into the room.
She sat on the bed while I stood before her, but she held my hand and made me sit before her.
'Mujhe ek baat batao. Kya Keerti se padhaai ke baare ke mein tumne baat ki thi?', she asked gravely.
I took in a deep breath and replied, 'Ji Mamiji. Maine hi ki thi usse baat.'
'Par kyun Amrit? Kya zaroorat thi? Hum toh uski padhaayi poori karwa hi rahe the! Usse pehle toh koi shikaayat bhi na thi BA padhne se! Ab toh jaise usne zid hi pakad li hai ki Doctori karne ki!', she said worriedly.
'Mamiji', I said respectfully. 'Use shikaayat toh pehle hi thi apne aage ki padhaayi ko lekar par aap dono ke saamne apni baat rakhne se voh ghabra rahi thi. Doctor banna uski khud ki marzi hai. Aur apne Mummy-Bauji se apne mann ki baat kehna koi buri baat hai?'

'Nahi Amrit. Main maanti hoon ki humse apne mann ki baat kehkar usne kuch galat nahi kiya. Par jo vo aage karna chaahti voh sahi nahi hai!'
I did not speak for while so she continued. 'Doctori koi do-teen saal ka khel toh nahi. Jeevan bhar ka samarpan maangta hai ye pesha. Aur ek kudi ki zindagi mein sabse ahmiyat uske parivaar ki honi chaahiye!'
'Mamiji... parivar toh har kisi ki zindagi mein ahm hona chaiye, phir chaahe vo munda ho ya kudi. Hai na?'
'Par sanjona toh kudiyon ki hi zimmedari hoti hai!'
'Kya aapne kabhi ye sawaal nahi kiya ki aisa kyun?', I counterquestioned her humbly.
She looked at me with a loss of words. After a moment of reflection she said, 'Kiya hai. Kayi baar kiya hai. Jabse hosh samhaala hai tabse aajtak baar baar kiya hai! Par kya fayda hua? Yeh soch kar kya ye sawaal karke kya fayda hua. Aajtak ye sawaal kisike saamne rakhne ki himmat toh nahi kar paayi main!'
Looking down, I tightened my grip on her hands.
'Mamiji, agar aaj Keerti ko apne mann ki zindagi jeene ki ijaazat mil gayi toh usse ye sawaal apne mann mein nahi rakhna hoga. Usme aage chalkar himmat hogi ki voh ye sawaal har us insaan ke saamne rakh sake jo use neecha dikhaane ki koshish kare, uska haq chheen-ne ki koshish kare sirf is wajah se ki woh ek ladki hai.
Kyun who ek poori zindagi apni khwahishon ko daba kar jiye, tyag karte hue aur fir use aur uske aaspaas walon ko shayad ehsaas ho usne toh apni zindagi hi gawa di?'
She thought for a while and then anxiously said 'Itna asaan nahi hai Amrit!'
'Asaan toh kuch bhi nahi hai Mamiji', I promptly replied. 'Faisla lena bhi asaan nahi hai. Us par amal karna bhi asaan nahi hai. Par is raaste par jo bhi mushkilein aayengi woh Keerti ki shakshiyat ko hi taraashengi. Aur mushikilein toh waise bhi zindagi ka ek hissa hai. Kal ye nahi toh kisi aur tarah ki imtehaan aayenge uski zindagi mein. Kyun na hum apni ek ladaayi khud hi chune – ladaayi ek aisi jo ladne ke kaabil ho!'
'Keerti toh bacchi hai abhi! Usse kahaan duniya ki samajh hai abhi! Kaise rahegi voh anjaan shehar mein anjaan logon ke beech?', Mamiji complained anxiously.
I knelt down before her and said, 'Mera vyaah bhi solah saal ki umr mein hone waala tha. Aur aapka, Mummyji ka vyaah ka vyaah toh aur bhi kam umr mein ho gaya tha na? Lagbhag 13-14 saal ki umra mein?'
She looked on, stunned.
'Tab bhi aap bacchi hi thi, na logon ki samajh, na duniya ki samajh. Anjaan logon ke beech ek duniya basaane. Par girte-samhalte.... aapne sab samhaal liya tha? Bas ussi tarah, who bhi samhaal legi!
Fark itna hoga ki kis ke ghar mein apni jagah banaane ki jagah usse duniya mein apni jagah banaani hai! Kisi aur ki ummeedon par khare utarne ki jagah, usse khudki ummeedon par khara utarna hoga!'