Memorial

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Taehyung

Is it wrong that I enjoyed sitting at the table with Jin and Lennon, is it wrong that in my head I pictured us doing this everyday for the rest of forever, my brother knew my feelings and after he got sick he had mentioned me taking care of them after his death, I blew it off, telling him he wasn't going to die and that it was the medicine talking, now I wonder if maybe that wasn't it at all. "Taehyung before we go to your parents I want to give you something", Jin says walking out of the dining room.

He walks back in carrying an envelope which he hands to me, "it's from Hyun, he left quite a few for Lennon and I but I found that one with your name on it." "What's it say", I ask curiously. "I don't know, I haven't opened any of mine, I just can't bring myself to do it", he says. "Thank you", I say slipping into my coat pocket, "ready to go, they are probably there already." "Sure, let me get Lennon", he says going to the stairs to call her.

"I'll drive, you guys ride with me", I say. He looks at me confused, "are you sure." "Yes Seokjin, I need you there with me, I need a buffer from my mother, please", I beg. He smiles and placed his hand on my shoulder, "of course Taehyung, I'll be right beside you." I smile and blush, "I'll go warm up the car.

When we get to the church we walk in together and of course all eyes are on us, "oh Seokjin come here and sit by me." My mom grabs him and hugs him, my blood boils until I feel a hand on mine, "I'm going to sit over there with Tae and Lennon, we will talk after." I couldn't hide my smile, Jin lead me and Lennon to a pew across the aisle and we sat together, like a family, he stopped holding my hand but he's close and that's what matters.

We sat and listened to the preacher talk about Hyun and how this year has been without him, I lean over to Jin's ear, "how does he know, he didn't even know Hyun." Jin nods in agreement and looks at me, we keep each other's gaze until he gets shy and looks away, he's so adorable, the walls I put up to protect myself are crumbling, I want this man and hope to god he wants me too.

Seokjin

Taehyung is confusing me, for years he acted like he hated me, like I was the bane of his existence, now he looks at me like he wants me, almost like I am his whole world. "Lets go to Hyun's favorite restaurant", Mr. Kim says. "But I have all that food at home, why would we go out", Mrs. Kim says. "Because Hyun would want you to relax today and enjoy everyone's company", Taehyung says. The glare that she shoots him is almost deadly, I was taken aback by her response, "you are right Tae, Hyun would want that, lets go to the BBQ place he liked the best." He looked at me and I saw a thankful look in his eyes, "maybe you are all right, lets go."

It irked me that she treated him that way, there is no reason for her to be so angry at her son, I wont stand for it anymore. Lennon and I get into his car and waited for him to get in, he is standing outside talking to his dad. They hug and when he gets in he sits for a second and sighs loudly, "Taehyung." He cuts me off before I can say more, "don't, I'm used to it."

"But you shouldn't be, its uncalled for you had nothing to do with your brothers death and she needs to be reminded of that", I say this while holding his hand. He looks at me and then at our joined hands, he starts to rub his thumb over my skin and the feeling sends shockwaves down my spine, I don't want to let go but he needs to drive, so I smile, "we better go or we'll miss the all the food."

Jungkook met us at the restaurant and of course I was the center of his attention, he really is very handsome but Hyun used to tell me stories about Jungkook and how he cant be faithful to anyone, as he talks my ear off about New York I cant help but to stare at Taehyung, who is he, this is a guy who ignored me, despised me, and now he looks at me like I am his whole world.

He catches me staring at him but I don't look away, the smile that tugs at his lips makes my heart flutter. I loved Hyun and he was never second best but Taehyung has always been in my heart and mind, it was Hyun who drove a wedge between not only him and I but also between Tae and I, I think he knew there was a spark between Tae and I when we first met.

Taehyung

I've been an idiot, treating Jin the way I have, I watch him now and I see the way he looks at me, that spark is still there, the one I saw that first night in my kitchen. I was bitter, bitter that my brother had the one thing in this life that should have been mine and I wasn't man enough to fight for it, because I loved my brother to much and wanted him to be happy. Would I be a horrible person if I went for what I want now, would I be a horrible brother, a horrible uncle, and could Jin even see himself being with me, after the way I have treated him.

"Taehyung are you staying around a few days or are you running back home", my mom asks coldly. "I'm not sure yet", I say looking at Jin, "I may stay around a few days. "Tae and I have some catching up to do", Jungkook says. "Why didn't Hana come with you", my mom asks. I sigh, I forgot to mention it to them, "we broke up." "Really, good riddance, she was trash anyway", my mother says. "Anna", my dad steps in, "now is not the time." 

"It's true and you know it, we all know", she chides. She always makes me feel 2 foot tall, nothing I do is ever good enough, "Taehyung, Lennon and I are tired, can we go." I look up to see Jin smiling at me, "yea sure, let's go." "We can take you home dear", my mom says. "No it's okay, you two finish you dinner, Jungkook you have to come to so that Tae can get into the hotel room", Jin says picking up Lennon. "Oh yea, of course, goodbye Mr and Mrs Kim", he bows and follows us out. 

"Thank you", I say taking Lennon from Jin, she wraps her arms around me and Jin smiles at us. I couldn't help myself but to reach out and rub his neck, Jungkook clears his throat, "I'll be at the hotel if you decide to come there." I smile, "thanks Kook, we will hang out tomorrow." "Text me in the morning", he says hugging Jin and then Lennon and I. When we arrived at Jin's house he opens the door then turns to look at me, "aren't you coming in." I immediately turn the car off, "yes."

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