Just Your Normal Girl- A Zayn Malik fanfiction

Chapter 8- First Suicidal Thoughts

Me and Zayn decided to take a nap shortly after we finished our lemonades. Zayn sung to me, and I fell asleep almost instantly. I was really tired, and I just wanted to sleep. Zayn carried my sleeping body up the stairs, and into my room.

"I love you, Janel. I always will. Good night, love." He whispered, as he laid me down to sleep. I smiled slightly, but it was obvious that I was hiding something. Zayn thought hard for several minutes, then tried to wake me up. I woke up, but I wasn't happy about it.

"Zayn, what is it now?" I asked him, sounding tired and upset. He asked me what was on my mind, and I lost it completely. I had no general composure of myself, and I was crying, with my head in my hands. Zayn lifted my head up, kissed me lightly on the cheek, then rested my head into his chest, with the smell of his hoodie embedded strongly into his shirt.

"Zayn, love, it's the haters again. They want to see me kill myself! Should I?" I explained. He looked up for a minute, then responded with an answer that almost put him in tears. 

"Janel Rosera Jenkins-Malik, what the hell did you just say? Kill yourself? Why the hell would you do that, love? You have me here. It's OK. Let's talk about it...if you want to, that is." As much as I wanted to, I kept silent, except for the loud sobs that I made. Zayn rocked me back to sleep, and then once I was asleep again, he laid down next to me. I felt insecure with him as close as he was to me, but I didn't say anything. I needed someone that cared to comfort me. He kissed me on the lips several times before asking another question. "Babe, why? Why would you do this to yourself? I know that you know that I hate hearing those words together, being used like that. So, do you want to talk about it?" I looked at him, shook my head, then laid my head back down. It was now obvious that I didn't want to talk about it, so he ignored the topic, and fell asleep next to me.

When he woke up, I was still asleep, so he took a picture, and saved it as his wallpaper on his phone. He tried to wake me up a few times, but I just would not get up, or move, for that fact. He called Louis, and told him that he was worried about me.

Louis showed up, and together, they both tried a few times each to wake me up. Nothing still. Louis callled Harry, and he called Niall, then they all showed up at my house. They all looked over me, and desperately came up with a plan to wake me up. They tried it, and I woke up, screaming, and Zayn held me. I was crying again, so the boys stepped out of the room. Zayn stuck his hand on my stomach, and I was breathing hard. He was trying to get me to relax, but no matter what I would do, I would burst into more and more tears. Zayn called the boys back into my room, and he tried to comfort me. When the boys came in, they noticed that my face was blue-purple. I wasn't able to catch my breath, I was crying so hard. Zayn gave me a dose of my asthma medicine, thinking that it would help. It worked, after about an hour.

Zayn started getting hot, so he took off his shirt, and let me rest directly on his 6-pack abs. It felt nice, but it wasn't enough to calm me down. The boys started to sing a song, and I went out of it-again. Zayn cried, while the other boys, especially Niall, tried to calm him down.

-Janel