You're Not My Spiderman | TASM!Peter Parker x Reader

Part Ten

warnings: none :)

Reader's POV

You listened to your alarm go off, but made no move to silence it.

It had been two months since you'd seen Peter. Since you'd lost everything.

Well, not everything, really. You'd gotten back home and seen your family again. Bucky had been worried sick for thirteen days, afraid he'd never see you again. When you arrived in the tower at two in the morning, Friday had alerted everyone. Peter was the first person to see you, and you broke down in tears at the sight of him.

At the sight of Peter, but not your Peter. Not the Peter you had a connection to; not the Peter who felt like everything to you.

Bucky had been the second person in the living room. He'd held you tightly and you'd hugged him back, comforted by his arms. But they weren't the arms you'd wished had been holding you.

And now, two months later, you had to get up to go to school. Had to get up and pretend that everything was okay. Pretend that you could focus on anything except Peter, and the hurt you felt.

You had tried to get back to him. You'd gone straight to the Sanctum Sanctorum three days after you'd arrived home and been able to organise your thoughts enough to remember the one person who could help you. But Strange had told you that messing with the Multiverse was dangerous, and that he couldn't help you. Stephen seemed sympathetic for you, but that didn't change his answer.

You got up reluctantly. For the first couple of weeks after returning and telling Bucky what had happened, he'd let you take some time off school. But eventually, he'd told you that enough was enough, and you had to return to school. You got dressed in something comfortable and slowly made your way to the kitchen. Natasha was waiting for you there, breakfast made. She'd even poured you a glass of your favourite juice.

"Thanks, Nat," you mumbled, taking a sip of the juice.

Natasha watched you closely as you ate your breakfast. Pretty much the entire team knew about the new Peter you'd met. You'd told Bucky everything, and he'd told the team, with your consent, of course. You didn't want to tell them yourself because the pain was still fresh, and even just thinking about him hurt.

"You really liked this kid, huh?" Natasha asked quietly.

You sniffed and nodded, blinking the tears away.

It wasn't just like, though. The longer you were away from him, the clearer you saw it. You loved him. You thought that it would be way too soon to think that, but that's what the feeling was. Being away from him only strengthened it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Natasha asked softly.

You looked at her. At her concerned face, and the love in her eyes. But you couldn't bring yourself to say anything about him.

So you shook your head, and ate your breakfast in silence.

Peter's POV

Peter lay in his room, his thoughts captivated by you. It had been three months since he'd seen you last. Since you'd faded away in his arms.

Ever since that moment, he'd upheld his promise to you. I'll find you again. He'd researched as much as he could about the Multiverse, but there were only flimsy guesses as to what it might be. So, with the help of Gwen, he'd use some of the technology at Oscorp. He had no idea what he was looking for, but he tried.

Tried to find you.

It was almost impossible. Had he not travelled through dimensions himself, he would have believed it impossible. But he would do the impossible to find you. You, the girl he loved. The girl he would tell that he loved as soon as he found you again. He wasn't afraid of the feelings. Yes, they hurt because he knew you weren't there with him, but he wasn't afraid of them. He embraced them, knowing that when he found you again, he'd be able to shower you in love.

He thought about that moment a lot. The moment when he'd see you again. That moment blurred sometimes with other memories, like when he met you for the first time, and when he kissed you for the first time. He'd honestly been scared that you hadn't felt the same way, that you hadn't felt the connection between you two. But when you'd kissed him for the first time and asked him... it was like everything had come together.

It was only hours later that you two had been torn apart. Peter had to admit, it was fun hanging out with the other Spidermen, but it was more fun to hang out with you. And then the words you'd said, "I don't want to say goodbye"... You had no idea how bad they'd hurt. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye either. And it hurt him that you'd been hurt. The tears in his eyes had mirrored your own, and then...

He didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to think of the pain. It hurt too much.

But there was something else. In Peter-Three's world, he'd been in love with Gwen. And Gwen had died, and Peter-Three believed that it had been his fault. Peter didn't love Gwen – not the way he loved you. He loved Gwen as a friend, a sister even. But you...

He supposed that he was just the lucky Peter who had been able to meet and fall in love with you. And he prayed that he'd be able to find his way back to you.