Caught Somewhere in Time

Realisations

"They're here, they're here!" Lucy muttered incoherently as Sweeney cradled her face but she didn't even seem to register his presence. "Sign of the devil, sign of the devil. He's going away!"

"I'll go get a doctor" Eleanor said as she picked up a fussy Johanna and left the flat.

Sweeney remained with his delirious wife. She must have taken the arsenic... but how? He'd destroyed the bottle as soon as he was done spiking the rum but then again, that apothecary seemed to give out poison "for rats" as if it were candy. She must have been very determined to leave the house and buy it, considering she never liked to go out anymore. He didn't understand it. Things were finally looking up for them money-wise and they were going to move out and start over...

It didn't make sense. Had anyone hurt her? Did the judge have his wicked way with her behind his back? He wondered pathetically, because deep inside Sweeney was aware he was the only man who'd hurt her this time. Ever since he came back, he'd done nothing else, crushing her gentle spirit until she just lost her will to live. This timeline's Lucy's life hadn't been ruined by that vulture of the law but by her own husband, the man who should have cared for her, protected. Or rather, by the man her loving husband had become. All because he was obsessed with another woman.

He shouldn't have gone back, he shouldn't have, he kept telling herself as he pushed his index and middle finger into her mouth until they touched her uvula, making her gag. "I'm sorry, Lucy" he said truthfully, because it was due to his selfishness that she was in this situation. If only he hadn't gone back... maybe Lucy would have been happy for the remaining months she had with her Benjamin until the Judge crossed their path. Lucy would have been Benjamin's priority, but Sweeney was too caught up in his conflicting feelings for Eleanor Lovett to pay his beautiful wife the attention he deserved. In both timelines, Lucy's fate was equally horrific and not only did he not prevent it, he drove her to it.

He kept making her gag until she finally vomited all the contents of her stomach. She seemed to calm down, she was no longer convulsing and her breathing was stable. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Benny" she called softly. "You're here." He was grateful that the arsenic didn't seem to have messed with her head, at least not to the extent it did in his original timeline. He held her even closer, he'd saved her this time. But he could not bring himself to promise her the happy ending they once dreamed about. Not when, even though he would always love Lucy, it was Eleanor who made his heart beat.

He saw it clearly now, that not all loves are the same. Because he loved Lucy, he wanted her to be alright, to thrive and be healthy and happy. They'd always have a special bond, for they shared a daughter. But it was Eleanor he wanted to kiss, Eleanor he wanted to make love to. It was her company he craved, the wicked adventures the two lived together... her smile, playful, teasing yet so authentic. From the first time he saw Lucy, he was blinded by her beauty, her marble chiselled face that looked as if it'd been sculpted by a divine power, her gentle manners and her sweet character.

Now as Sweeney, he realised he didn't want that in a woman. Even though he didn't see it at first, he wanted challenge, action, he wanted every day to be different after the monotony of his days at the colony. Eleanor was all that. It didn't escape him that even though, he was worried sick about Lucy and desperately wanted her to recover, it had been Eleanor who made him feel like the world was ending when he thought she was going to poison herself...

Sweeney Todd loved Lucy, but he was in love with Eleanor and there was no point in denying it now. That he had this epiphany with his weakened wife in his arms made the truth even more poignant, but it also made his guilt worse. Lucy was innocent, Lucy loved him, Lucy was the mother of his child. But Lucy also gave up on him, abandoning Johanna too. Even in this timeline she all but let herself wither when he was arrested and neglected their daughter, to the point she would have likely died had Eleanor not stepped in. Eleanor... even if she lied in another timeline, she always had unwavering faith in him. He couldn't forget how, with her patience, determination and love, that infuriating woman who didn't take no for an answer saved the dying heart of a demon, enough for it to love again. Even if that meant sacrificing her own.