i'm a perfectionist and i'm not perfect, and it frustrates me

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The problem.

I want everything a certain way, and rarely is that good enough. I expect a lot out of myself. I'm a perfectionist, and I'm nowhere close to perfect, nowhere close to good enough, and it frustrates me. I may never get there.

The Zen understanding.

A Zen Buddhist does not seek perfection, and why? Because perfection, like anything else, cannot be found. 

Nothing is inherent and everything is always changing, so what would it mean to "find perfection"?

This is the reason that perfectionists are unhappy. Even when they reach someplace they thought was perfect, it is not perfect enough. And of course it isn't because not a thing is perfect.

This applies to Bodhisattva's path as well. Becoming a buddha is not an aim; it is a practice. Likewise, ultimate realization is not a thing, because it is not fixed in space or time nor dualistic. You cannot find it, because otherwise you could not find it, which is not possible because you are no different than everything else, ultimately. How could you fail to find what is already you?

The Zen application.

Instead of seeking perfection in anything, a Zen Buddhist does what makes them happy. Doing a good job is one thing, but it's good to be content. A good Zen Buddhist is content with themselves, realizing there is no appreciable difference between what they are now and what they will be. A Zen Buddhist focuses on loving, letting go, and being happy with what they have.

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