Dies Irae

13

"So, any predictions?" Axel closed the door. I walked to the sink carrying the baskets.

"Predictions for what?" I turned the sink on grabbing an eggplant to wash.

"On if hes going to go through with this plan." Axel finished placing another basket on the counter. "I think this girl is going to make him change it." Axel said wrapping his paw around my waist.

"I don't know, I'm going to support him no matter what, I just hope she's not a distraction that leads to him getting hurt." I sighed. "I don't think he's in love but I'm not denying the fact that there's attraction there, I mean maybe he's always been into humans and that's why he's never brought a girl home." I shrugged scrubbing the eggplant.

"And if he is are you okay with that?" Axel asked handing me the next veggie.

I looked over to him shaking my head," Hes my son, I made a promise to his mother to love him no matter what so of course I will."

"Do you think it's something we done?" Axel broke the momentary silence. That question went straight through me, since the day we got him all the short comings Dies had I silently blamed myself. I was guilty of selfishness; I couldn't give him away when he was little. I was too attached

Werewolf mothers offered to take him off my hands, they told me I was going to be in over my head having to deal with his trauma. Witnessing his mothers murder made him regress years mentally.

Instead of listening to mothers who have maternal instincts in raising baby wolves I took it as an offense, too stubborn to accept reality and in that stubbornness the only one impacted was Dies.

The wolf moms offered advise but kept it vague enough to where I struggled. I think they enjoyed watching me struggle kind of like an 'I told you so' but I refused to give in, what kept me together was the small milestones I went through with Dies. His first words; his first birthday with us; learning how to read and write and blossoming into his own individuality.

To a certain extent I was successful in raising him, but I never stopped blaming myself. Thinking about how he would be if I did give him up, would he still be him or would he be like a feral wolf, uneducated and running on hormones and hunger. I saved him but at what cost.

" What you like is what you like." I managed, zoning out to the sink drain. "He wouldn't have been Dies without us." I wiped the bubbling tears away from my eyes before they could run down my cheek. Axel knew It was hard on me, he leaned over and kissed my cheek bringing my waist towards him.

"You are the sexiest, most intelligent wolf momma I know." Axel kissed me again smiling. I chuckled. He dropped his paws off my waist walking towards the couch. "Dies has a special life because of you Lilith, I think we did a damn good job raising that boy." Axel stated before sitting on the couch.

Did we?

___________________________________________

The river was a quiet creek, river rock lined the bottom of the river run smooth through millions of years of passing water.

The sun gleamed off the water light cutting straight to the bottom. "You know what will happen if you run." Dies instructed before unclasping the chain from my collar. I was confused was he trusting me to untether me from him?

He walked over to the water's edge but before going in he stopped, looking over his shoulder at me." Are you not coming?" He asked.

"Well I wasn't exactly planning on swimming..." I crossed my arms; He didn't respond staying in the spot he stopped in. I could see how it looks bad, unhooking my chain and getting in the water just for me to run away before he got a chance to wipe the water from his eyes. But it was true, I just wanted to see the place special to his childhood not swim in it.