Break me

Twenty

Giovanni

  The last few days have been a mess. The wedding is coming up and my house has been a revolving door for flower arrangements, cake testing, bridesmaids fittings. It hasn't stopped. I even had a chance process everything that happened my bachelor weekend. I told Lo I loved him and Mario found out about us. I haven't gotta around to speaking to any of them about it.

Lo fucked me while blaming me for his feelings and told me I'm going to live a miserable life with his sister and I told him I loved him. He didn't say it back of course. I didn't except him too, it still fucking hurts though. He's hasn't stop what's going on between us. He still sneaks into my room, and every time we finish and he holds me while he sleeps, I cry quietly. Knowing I'm a day closer to losing him and marrying someone I will never love.

  It's actually four am now and he just feel asleep. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed staring at him. He is so goddamn beautiful it hurts me to watch him. The way the moonlight kisses his tan skin, the slow rise and fall of his chiseled chest, his deep V pointing to his delicious cock. I want to take a picture of him and hang it in my office.

  He rolls onto him stomach and I'm rewarded the view of his firm ass. I lean down and kiss the small of his back. leavening  him I head downstairs. I need water and fresh air. When I exit my hallway I hear moans coming from Lucas side of the house. Not surprised he was out all night again. He brings a new girl home every night. I don't know how the man does it, he looks like a baby but props to him.

After I chug down two glasses that I desperately needed after what Lo did to me, I make my way outside. I'm about to sit in the garden when I notice my pool lights on. "Fuck Alessandro! what do I play you for?" I bitch to no one but hope it reaches the fucker where ever he is. When I get closer to the pool I notice someone swimming in it.

  When the figure emerges from the water I take in the deep chocolate,normally curly hair. Amara. What is she doing awake? What if she went looking for Lo? I start to panic but I don't let her see it. "What are you doing awake?" She lets out a scream, not expecting anyone to be awake. "Fuck Giovanni!" She swims to the edge closest to me. "I could ask you the same question." She says leaning her arms on the concrete.

  "Couldn't sleep." I choose to tell her part of the truth, she doesn't need to know that I've changed my sleeping habits so I would be ready for her brothers dick whenever he made his way to my room. "Same." I sit next to her and dangle my feet into the cool water. Me and Amara don't talk much. We honestly never have time alone, I don't know if that's because we don't want to make time or we are genuinely busy. It's probably a bit of both. We know this marriage isn't for love so why bother trying.

  "We are almost hitched." She jokes but the amusement doesn't reach her face. It does hurt me to know I'm probably ruin her life. A life she could be building with someone who would love her and be faithful to her, but that's just apart of this life and all I can promise her is I'll do my best to make sure she lives a good life and fill the lack of love between us with children. "Yes we are." I don't know how to talk to her. She runs her finger through a crack in the stone. "I'm sorry if this isn't the life you wanted Amara, you are so young and I'm robbing you of so many things."

She flinches. If she didn't I would think she didn't hear me because she hasn't stopped playing the crack or turned to acknowledge what I said. "I can be happy here . You are probably the best option my father could've picked for me."

Guilt creeps into my bones. I know she is talking about men that would have beat her, but all I'm thinking about is how I'm sleeping with her brother right under her nose. The one person she cares about. Fuck me.

  "I promise you will be taken care of Amara." I look into the sky hoping to find strength behind the stars. Strength to break off what me and Lo have or the marriage, Im not sure. "Thank you." She pulls herself out of the water and grabs her towel. She leans down and kisses my cheek before heading back into the house.

.........

  Mario, Luca, Lo, and I are at our fittings. Mario has been eyeing the two of us the entire time. He followed me into the office the night I stormed off in the club. Before the door even fully clicked shut he was saying "how long have you been fucking him?" I didn't even try to deny it, I told him the truth.

A month after they moved in. Mario is my best friend he cares for me and wouldn't hurt me, he didn't even judge. The only other thing he asked about was Amara.

  "Does she know? What happens after the wedding?" When I told him it will end he nodded. He could see all over my face I won't be okay with it ending but he didn't say anything else. We sat there until I calmed down. "Can I be in the wedding please? Groomsmen get better pick of the women." Luca whines. He will not be apart of the wedding, unless he will takes my place, which I'm not sure he'd protest against.

"Luca shut up. You'll be my best man when I get married just hold onto that hope, I'm sure best mans getting even better pick of women." Lo winks at his dumb friend. The thought of Lo marrying someone has me wanting to shoot the nonexistent person.

Mario laughs at me and I practically call him every curse word known to man with my eyes. "Like you'll ever get married Enzo, you are the pickiest bastard ever." Before I can tell him to shut the fuck up again the tailor comes and takes Lo and Luca to be fitted.

"You are down bad my friend." He has no idea. "Go back to playing your game." I wave a finger towards the device in his hand. "Don't get all bitchy with me. I have been nothing but kind to you." He wipes a fake tear from his eye. He has been but I can't tell if that makes me more annoyed by him. I want him to say I'm being an idiot and I need to do the right thing and break off my marriage of the thing with Lo.

"But on a serious note, what are you going to do when you realize you love him too much to just walk away." I rub my palms into my eyes. I don't know. I don't know what to do. "It doesn't matter how much I love him, I have a contract to uphold." He pockets his phone and leans forward.

"You are Giovanni fucking Marchetti, fuck the contract. Besides he is still Antonio's kid so the contract can still be upheld." He leans back again as if he just told me what the Krabby patty secret formula.

"Okay let me tell a traditional man I like getting railed by his son so much I fell in love with him." Mario lets out a deep powerful laugh. "My, my boss I didn't peg you for a bottom." I don't miss his use of the word peg. I feel my cheeks heat. "Fuck off." He laughs harder which cause my lips to rise in betrayal.

"Did we miss all the fun?" Luca looks offended that he isn't included in the laughter. "No you just suck it out of the room." Mario goes right back to being his brooding self. Luca sticks his tongue out at him like a five year old.

"How did you manage to get a day pass from the nursing home today Mario, I thought you were saving it for the wedding." Mario stands to tower over the 5'11 scrawny man. Mario and Lo are probably the same height. Luca doesn't back down. He may be small but he's a feisty bastard.

I'd want him on my side in a fight. Mario ends up messing his hair and pushes past him. That seems to make Luca more mad then being punched in the face. He charges after him. I turn to Lo who has a contagious smile spread across his face. "Capo?" He meets my eyes lust battling the amusement in his irises. I touch his cheek gently before walking away without another word. I can't marry Amara.