Interns

13

It was now August. Ben's dad made it through the surgery and chemotherapy. His cancer was now in remission.

Ben felt a relief with the weight off of his shoulder and he was ready to pick up with his life and move forward. He saw Miranda at work off and on and she would text him asking about his dad and how was everything but other than that. They didn't communicate.

Finishing up his intern year Ben was offered an attending position at Mercy West early. His teacher's and attending put in a word for him and recommendation. Mercy West had many positions they needed to fill. He would train with them for 3 months and move right into his attending role.

He was excited for the future. He enjoyed his time at Seattle Grace and was grateful for the experience but the sign on bonus was hard to pass up.

Ben broke the lease at his old apartment and would be moving out soon into his top floor luxury apartment with the perfect view of the space needle.

"Hey Bailey tell Ben congratulations for me"

"Congratulations?" Miranda repeated confused.

"Yeah I haven't seen much of him lately. Since everything was happening with his dad but I just heard from my attending that Ben was offered the attending anesthesiologist position at Mercy West. I'm happy for him." David smiled.

Miranda gasped and her eyes watered. He was going to Mercy West. "Okay I will." She voiced turning and walking away.

Miranda was wracking her brain constantly. The man she actually loved was leaving and she didn't know what to do or feel.

Well half truth, she knew what to feel because she was feeling it. Sadness and regret.

She regretted how she let their friendship slip through her hands. She just couldn’t keep up with both her marriage and that.

She was treating Ben like he was her husband and he certainly fell into that place while Tucker was gone. Not on purpose, but still she enjoyed it none the less.

She loved the forehead kisses, the hand holds, the talks, back rubs, feet rubs, venting and everything else that came with them.

She barely even got that from her own husband now that he was here.

Miranda looked around for Ben at work and she called his phone but didn't get an answer.

Later on that evening Miranda asked Callie to cover her overnight shift and she left.

She was gonna go home and lay down to sulk about the day but the more she thought about Ben leaving and everything they've been through, the more tears welded up and began to fall.

Miranda made a U-turn and drove to his apartment.

She took the elevator up and knocked on his door waiting on him to a answer.

"Hello-...Miranda?" Ben questioned.

"You are leaving Seattle Grace?" Miranda questioned with tears in her eyes and then she looked around his apartment and noticed all of the boxes before just inviting herself in. Ben closed the door behind himself and stayed by the door.

"Yeah." Ben answered softly 

"I don't want you to go." Miranda burst as she ran into his arms. "I need you and I'm going to miss you so much." "I miss our talks, laughs, embraces  and everything else." She added still crying and hugging him tighter.

"These two months have been awful, we haven't been talking and have been short with each other and I know that's my fault, you were only following my directions but now the thought of not laying eyes on you at all takes my breath away. I need you like I need my next breath. I need our friendship. I have been barely getting by with out it." Miranda rambled crying.

"Shh." Ben consoled as he rocked with her back and forth before walking over to the couch. Ben stared at her as they sat and he watched her wipe her eyes.

Ben didn't know what to say because he couldn’t do it anymore. Leaving was best because he couldn't watch his life pass him by. He couldn't be on the outside looking in on the relationship he wanted with her. He wanted all or nothing.

The crazy part was, Ben knew that Miranda was in love with him. He knew that she wanted him as well . Her rant 1 minutes ago wasn't about friendship, it was the love that she felt for him, that's why she needed him like air. She was whole heartily in love with him. The most hurtful part was he knew she wasn't leaving her husband and he would never ask her too.

"Miranda-" Ben started but was cut off by Miranda who pushed her self into him, cupping his head before smashing her lips on his in one swift motion.

Ben welcomed her with a moan, her hand sliding instinctively behind his neck to deepen the kiss. Ben had been taken by surprise, he was half-relieved and half-confused but quickly return her kiss as forcefully as her. She pushed her lips further against Ben’s. This was completely wrong and they were both aware of that, but the feeling of their lips moving against each other, the taste of their tongues exploring each other's mouth was too overwhelming to stop. Miranda wanted more of him, more of his kisses, more of his touch.

She wanted to feel him against her and for a second she cursed their damn clothes that were standing between them. Ben pulled her closer until she was on his lap and his hands caressed her back, then lower back until they were gripping her ass. Miranda moaned loudly.  They almost could hear their heartbeats echoing in the room. It felt more than good and it only strengthened all the tension that had been building up between them during the 12 months of knowing one another.

Ben could feel her mouth bending into a smile against his and as her lips parted he slid his tongue to meet hers halfway. Their lips were dancing against each other in a slow kiss but they quickly ended it to breathe...then starting it right back up again.

Miranda wrapped her tongue around his before sucking on it, and then there was no air between their bodies, their mouths fused and hungry, their hands reaching and groping.

Finally they broke apart for a real breath.

"I love you." Miranda cried....as her forehead touched his. "More than a friend...more than best friends." She added.

"I know....me too....Dam I really do." He responded pecking her lips again and sighing.

"But I can't." She started.

"I know." Ben voiced sadly rubbing her back up and down.

Miranda sighed. "Please don't hate."

"I love you too much to do that. So don’t ever think that." Ben responded.

"I know there is a thin line between. The two...can I stay here tonight?" She questioned.

"There is also a thin line between a man and restraint."

"Restraint for what?" She asked quickly.

"Restraint to not lift you up and carry you to my bedroom and make love to you, and with the way I want to now and have been for a year. I know for sure I would tap into your soul." Miranda moaned loudly against his lips at the thought.

"How could you stay here tonight and I not kiss you senseless and make love to you so passionate, hard, deeply, and long?" Ben asked seriously.

Miranda wanted that more than anything. "I guess you are right...but how could I just leave. Like I'm never going to see you again." Miranda choked up crying all over again.

"Hey, hey Shh. You know I can't take it to see you cry. How about you just stay and we hold each other and cuddle all night." Ben suggested.

"Deal." Miranda agreed but she knew it would only be that much more harder in the morning.