Poems From The Humble Heart

Letting Go

My love ran away
One miserable day.
My dreams they shattered and my heart grew a crack.
Though I will find no happiness if I keep looking back.
I felt so whole when you set my heart ablaze.
It was your truest love that my soul did crave.
How could it be that it was all in vein?
Was it merely but a twisted game?
It was my heart with which you toyed
And you have left in me the deepest of voids.
I'm consumed by longing and painted with sorrow.
I never feel that I can face tomorrow.
It is funny to me that noone can see
The lie that is the smile I present to thee.
It is your love only that I seek.
Behind closed doors I do weep.
My hurt never faded, after all these years.
I have created oceans with all of my tears.
But never could the waves wash away my pain.
Crying only hurt my brain.
I used to wonder before I drifted to sleep,
Did you think of me? Did it make you weak?
My dreams they are always the same.
You come back to me, riddled with shame.
And then I slap my hand across your face.
And then hug you tightly with a feeling of grace.
And then you tell me, that leaving me was your greatest mistake.
It is at this time, that I always wake.
For a moment I had felt true peace.
But now I stare in disbelief.
As the image of your face fades and is replaced by my ceiling.
Your warmest touch a mere facade but oh how I miss that feeling.
The feeling of our hands and souls entwined.
Our love it felt so divine.
I miss the spark I used to feel when I'd brush my arm against your own.
And then I would blush and pretend to check my phone.
Though loving you has left me sore
It never did feel like a chore.
We used to laugh all day long.
Back then our love, it was so strong.
We'd laugh until our lungs could burst
About silly things like who's cooking was worse.
We always enjoyed our silly play fights
And talking on our phones well into the nights.
Even when you'd say something wrong,
I could never stay mad for very long.
And if ever I'd have a panic attack,
You were always there to bring me back.
I remember all the joy it would bring
When we sat together and tried to sing.
I miss when our love was young and pure.
When a talk with you was a miracle cure.
But those days have long been lost.
Pain is the price those memories cost.
All our cherished tales
Are now tainted by your betrayal.
For a long time I was fuelled by rage.
I read the letters you wrote to me and then tore every page.
I wished for you to feel the agony that I felt.
But deep down I think I knew that would not help.
After years of hatred fueled by pain,
I've come to a conclusion that keeps me sane.
For all the hurt that I have weathered,
I am grateful for our time together.
Lucky was I to once have known a love so true.
I hope it felt the same for you.
Some days I feel a little brighter.
Some days I need to be a fighter.
I still carry a weight of sadness in my chest.
It wallows and aches within the hole you left.
But I put my anger now to rest.
And I wish you, truly, all the best.