Malcolm in the Middle: one-shots

Summer Camp, Part 1

Setting: season 2

Scene 1 Backyard

Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey are playing with the hose, and all three of them are wet.

Malcolm (aside): This has been a great summer so far. I can stay in bed for as long as I want to, I don't have to do homework, and me and my brothers are actually enjoying being forced to do yard work. Mom probably won't be happy that we moved onto having a hose fight, but at least we're having fun and beating the heat without having to walk to the nearest outdoor pool, which we got banned from after Reese stuck red stickers all over his body and pretended they were open wounds.

Reese (aiming the hose at Dewey): I'll get you first!

Dewey: No, I'll get you, Reese!

The three boys fight over the hose, and Malcolm sprays Reese.

Reese: Hey! That wasn't needed, Malcolm!

Malcolm: It was!

Lois enters.

Lois: Boys, why did the hose go everywhere but the grass?

Malcolm (aside): Oh no! She found out before we even had the chance to hide it. What will happen next?

Reese sprays the hose on Lois and laughs, though Malcolm tries to grab the hose so he can pretend to water the lawn.

Lois (angrily): That's it! You boys are going to summer camp!

Malcolm (aside): Camp shouldn't be too bad, right? We'll be away from home for a bit and I can make some new friends who don't know my reputation. But then again, I hope I don't end up in the same cabin as Reese. I probably won't, because what camp puts siblings who can't even live with each other at home in a cabin where you're supposed to meet NEW people?

Reese: Camp? That sounds awesome! (to Malcolm) Maybe we can sneak into the girls' cabins at night!

Malcolm: I like that idea!

Lois: Absolutely not, boys! I signed you up for an all-boys camp to avoid this! The camp starts on Sunday and you boys will be there for three weeks! Me and your dad saved everything we had to get the three of you in there, and we'd better not have to come and bring you home before the session is even finished!

Reese (not knowing what to say): ...Okay.

Malcolm (awkwardly): ...We'll be good.

Dewey: Can I bring my Game Boy?

Lois: Video games are not allowed, because you're supposed to be in the great outdoors!

Dewey: Can my imaginary friends come?

Reese: No! They're not even real!

Lois: At camp, you'll make real, flesh-and-blood friends that will mean more than your imaginary friends! If you can see your friends, you'll cherish them more!

Dewey hangs his head in shame.

Malcolm (aside): Maybe this will be fun, who knows?

Intro plays. 🎵Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big...Life is unfair.🎵

Scene 2 Vehicle

Hal is driving the car while Lois is seated in the front seat while the three boys are seated in the back with heavy backpacks in front of their feet. Song playing on car stereo: "Ventura Highway" by America.