Malcolm in the Middle: one-shots

The Spelling Bee

Scene 1 Kitchen

Reese is looking through the freezer and finds a single wrapped Popsicle, while Malcolm is seated at the table.

Reese (to self): Wait, wasn't there a full box before? (to Malcolm) Hey, look, Malcolm! There's only one Popsicle left! And do you know what that means? Popsicle Tug-Of-War!

Reese opens the Popsicle wrapper and throws it away.

Malcolm (aside): Popsicle Tug-Of-War is a ridiculous, but very fun, game that Francis invented years ago where each person takes a stick and pulls, and the person who finally causes the Popsicle to break in two halves wins the full one. Mom intentionally buys the Popsicles with two sticks in one so we can share, but none of us are very generous, as you can see.

Malcolm and Reese tug on the Popsicle sticks, grunting and yelling while doing so, but Dewey comes in and tries to grab both sticks.

Reese: Dewey, can't you see that we're doing something important here?

Dewey: I want a Popsicle!

Malcolm: There's a corner store with an ice cream freezer that's just a block away! You don't even like the orange ones, anyway!

Dewey (trying to make his brothers take pity on him): But Mom won't let me walk there.

Reese: Either way, you're not having our---I mean, my, Popsicle!

Malcolm gives Reese a look to show him that he wants the Popsicle, too.

Dewey: Oh, well. (he walks away)

Malcolm and Reese continue to tug on the Popsicle sticks, and both halves of the Popsicle fall on the floor after they pull a bit too hard.

Reese (attempting to pick the Popsicle off the floor): Five-second rule!

Malcolm: Did you know that within the first second of falling on the floor, germs and bacteria start to pile up on fallen food, so the five-second rule isn't true? I'll get out my microscope to prove it!

Reese: Are you just trying to say that the Popsicle is yours?

Malcolm (aside): Even when I state true facts, I can never win with Reese.

Cut to Dewey, who is sitting on his bed, eating a Popsicle. A large box of Popsicles can be seen on the bed.

Dewey (to self): Little did they know that I would win without having to pull on the sticks...

Intro plays. 🎵Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big...life is unfair.🎵

Scene 2 Cafeteria

Malcolm, Stevie, Lloyd, and Dabney are seated together at a table, with lunches on trays and piles of flash cards with spelling words on them.

Lloyd (to Dabney, while reading off card): How do you spell "obsequious"?

Dabney (nervously): A-B-...

Lloyd: It starts with an O!

Dabney cries.

Dabney: All my hope is gone!

Malcolm (aside): The school spelling bee is coming up on Monday, and it's mandatory for all the Krelboynes to participate in it. As you can see, some of us take misspelled words better than others. I'm pretty confident that I'll win because I'm good at memorizing things.