Malcolm in the Middle: one-shots

Summer Camp, Part 2

Malcolm is seated on his bunk, writing a letter to Stevie. He has a journal and a pen on his lap.

Malcolm (voice-over): Dear Stevie, I've barely been at camp for a week, and naturally, Reese, who I have to share a cabin and a bunk bed with, has already managed to ruin the experience, surprise surprise. Last night, when I was sleeping, he crawled his fingers up my leg to convince me that there was a spider on me, and I kicked him to get him to stop. Needless to say, both of us are waiting to hear as to what our punishment is. I just hope we don't have to be in the same room together again. Other than that, the activities are pretty fun, once you ignore the fact that the counsellor always forces me and Reese to partner up because he thinks it'll be a chance for us to get along, and the food in the dining hall isn't half bad, especially compared to leftover night at home. How is Easter Seals camp? I bet you're happy now that you get to sleep in a bed that's not surrounded by security alarms.

Chris: Boys, we're leaving for breakfast soon!

Malcolm (voice-over): When I get home, we should see a movie or something! Love, your friend, Malcolm. P.S.: Depending on my punishment, you may not hear back from me after this.

Intro plays: 🎵Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big...Life is unfair.🎵

Scene 2 Dining hall

The boys of Spruce are seated at the table with breakfast, which is scrambled eggs with apple slices and orange juice.

Reese: Malcolm, did you know that these eggs are made with powder and aren't real chicken eggs like we have at home? You'd think it would be the other way around, but it's true!

Malcolm: No, I didn't know that. (aside) Eating powdered eggs is the least of my worries right now, because any minute, Chris will tell me and Reese what our punishment will be. Camp is already humiliating enough!

Jake: How hard did you kick Reese last night?

Malcolm: I really don't want to talk about it. (goes back to eating his breakfast)

Chris: Malcolm and Reese, after we finish breakfast...

Malcolm (aside): Just as I thought. He's announcing it in front of everyone else to make it even worse!

Chris: ...You two will go directly to the office...

Malcolm (aside): That doesn't sound too bad...yet.

Chris: ...and you will have to spend the day sorting mail.

Reese (angrily): It's your fault, Malcolm! We're missing football for this!

Malcolm: I don't mind. (aside) Sorting mail with Reese doesn't sound like my idea of a fun day, but at least it's better than getting tackled by him, because whenever we've played with the sponge football in the backyard, I've come this close to having all my ribs broken from his tackles. Our second period today is archery, and I think I know what his target will be. Here's a hint: it doesn't have a yellow circle with a bullseye in the centre. (points to himself)

Scene 3 Office

Reese and Malcolm are sitting on chairs in the front part of the office.

Reese: I'm bored! Why don't we play the circle game while we're waiting? (Reese makes a circle with his fingers, hoping that Malcolm will see it so he can punch him)

[author's note: the "circle game," as seen in S2E4 "Dinner Out," is a game where one person makes a circle with their hand and they try to get someone else to look at their circle so they can punch the looker]