What You're Worth

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I frown, hearing the bunker door open and slam shut. Standing up from my seat, I watch the boys come down the metal steps. Dean looked furious, Cas had a guilty expression on his face and Sam seemed to be at a loss.

"Dean, I was just trying to help. I thought I did the right thing".

"Yeah? Well, you always seem to think that. But how many times has that actually worked out for you, huh? Usually it ends with us cleaning up your damn messes!".

Cas sighs "It wasn't my fault". "Well, it sure as hell wasn't mine or Sam's! If you hadn't-" Dean yells. "If I hadn't, both you and Sam would've been killed!" Cas argues. "But we weren't! And you went ahead and screwed everything up anyway!" Dean yells before storming off down the hall. The angel was about to go after him, but Sam stopped him "Cas, just give him time to cool off. He'll come around". The younger Winchester walks off to his room.

I walk over to Cas, then gently tug on the sleeve of his trenchcoat, gaining his attention. He looks down at me and his cerulean eyes soften "Hello, my love". I frown "Cas, what happened on the hunt?". He sighs "It doesn't matter, y/n. It's done now". He started to take my hand off of his sleeve so he could walk away, but I tightened my grip and put my other hand on his other arm "Cassie, it does matter. What happened?". He frowns, his eyes flickering down to the floor to avoid my gaze. I reach up to tilt his chin up "Cas...". I move my hand to his cheek and he leans into it a little. His expression looked so sad it almost made me march into Dean's room and force an apology out of him. Finally, he released a breath "I messed up, y/n. I should've just stuck with the plan, but... Sam and Dean were in danger. I had to do it. Please don't hate me". I smile slightly "Oh, Cas... there's nothing in this world you could do that would ever make me hate you". He tilts his head "Really?". I nod "Yes, really. I love you". He smiles softly, then presses a gentle kiss to my forehead "Thank you. I love you too". I sigh quietly "Cas, try not to dwell on it, okay? Whatever happened, Dean will get over it eventually. He always does". He nods slowly "I'll try". I frown "You're still sad. Is there something else?". He sighs "I'm not sad, I... I'm disappointed in myself". I rub his arm comfortingly "Want to talk about it?". He shakes his head "No". "Hey, come on. You always listen to me when I'm upset. It's only fair I do the same for you" I tell him, motioning for him to sit at the table. He sighs
"Y/n, it is very unnecessary. I'm okay". "No, you're not. Now, sit down and talk to me about whatever's bothering you" I order him. The corners of his lips twitched into a soft smile, but he reluctantly sits on the nearest seat. I sit across from him and he looks at me. Holding his gaze, I patiently wait for him to begin.

He takes a breath before speaking "Alright... I think Dean is right. I have been known to make some very bad choices that seemed like good ones. And it was only because I thought I was doing the right thing. But that never works out well for me or anyone involved. I am usually the one to blame when things go wrong. Which leads me to think I am not capable of many things. Not like I used to be. Since I lost my wings, it seems I have grown weaker. I just... I don't belong anywhere. All I do is make bad situations worse. It makes me question my own self worth. I'm not good enough and I certainly don't deserve you".

I frown "Cas... everyone makes mistakes. God knows Sam and Dean have made their own. And guess who was the one to help them fix it?". He smiles slightly, but doesn't say anything. I sigh "But you should never doubt yourself. I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You're not weak and losing your wings has not made you any less special. You do fit in. You fit in with us. We're your family, it doesn't matter how many mistakes you make. It will always be forgiven because in the end The Winchesters are your brothers and always will be. You've been through so much together, you make each other stronger. You are worth more than you know".

He tilts his head a little "How so?". "I... you're worth the world to me, Cassie. You are my world. Even if I had nothing, you're all that I would ever need. After all you've been through, you deserve love. You deserve to be loved and it hurts that you don't see that. You are good enough. You're enough for me and that's all you need to remember. If you don't see your worth, just remember that I do. I didn't fall in love with you for no reason" I explain. He stands up, and I watch in confusion as he walks around the table over to me. He gently pulls me up so that I am standing. Then he pulls me closer to him before kissing me. I smile, kissing him back as butterflies flutter around in my stomach. It was soft and tender. His hand came up to cup my cheek and his other arm wrapped around my waist to pull me closer.

When we pull away, he rests his forehead against mine. "What did I do to deserve you, my love?" He mumbles. I smile slightly "It's funny, I think the same thing about you". He chuckles softly "I love you". "I love you too, Cas" I sigh.
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- W.S

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