Castiel Imagines

Don't leave again

It had only been a few weeks and we had done a couple of cases since then, but my heart wouldn't stop hurting. It sounded stupid and pathetic, but it was true. I still hadn't stopped crying. Not entirely. I could keep it together for cases, but I didn't smile or laugh the same as before. I could see the changes in my brothers too. They were struggling as much as I was. They're just better at hiding it. I didn't know it would hurt this much. It didn't compare to anything else I had felt before. I had lost a lot of people, but none of them affected me this bad. Not even losing Bobby. But maybe that was because I still had him. No matter what, I always had him. Or maybe it was because Dean's faith in our job was diminishing with each loss. That was something I depended on.

I didn't realise I was crying until Dean's phone brought me out of my thoughts. Keeping a hand on the wheel, he answered it and put it to his ear. I couldn't hear who was on the other end, but he shared a look with Sam "What?". Wiping my tears away, I asked "What is it, D?". He threw the phone down and without a word he quickly turned the car around. I gasped "Dean!".
He didn't say a word to me or Sam about where we were going or who it was on the phone. He just hightailed it back down the highway. I sighed, resting my elbow on the door and sat back.

About thirty minutes later, Dean was driving down a dark alleyway that had flickering red bar signs along the walls. When the car came to a stop, I sat up to look around. When I saw a familiar tan trenchcoat at a nearby phonebooth, I opened my door and got out as did Sam and Dean. When I could clearly see him, I didn't bother closing the door behind me and ran over to him. "Y/n!" I heard Sam call for me, but I didn't care. Cas smiled at me and I knew it was him. I almost rugby tackled him to the ground, but he managed to keep himself up right as he caught me. He chuckled, then sighed in relief "Hello, y/n". I sobbed into his chest, finally hearing him say my name after weeks.

"Cas, is that really you?" Dean asked. Cas didn't say anything, but I felt him nod. "No, you're... you're dead".

"Well, yeah... I was. But then I... annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back".

"I don't even know what to say".

"I do. Welcome home, pal".

They kept talking, but I stopped listening. I had my angel back and you can be damn sure I'm never letting him go again. After a while, Sam and Dean went back to the car, giving us a moment alone. "I missed you so much" I sniffle. He pulled away a little, then raised his hands to cup my cheeks "There isn't enough words in the world to describe how much I missed you, y/n". More tears fall down my cheeks as I mumble "Cas...". He gently wipes my tears away with his thumbs "It's okay. I'm here now". I sobbed, burying my face into his coat "Don't ever leave again". He rubbed my back soothingly "Shh, shh. I'm alright, everything's okay now".

Later

After Cas met Jack, I decided to go to bed. In my room, I got changed into pyjamas and was about to get into bed when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in".

I look over as the door opens and Cas comes in, then shuts it behind him. "Hi" I mumble. He smiles slightly "Hello". He walks over to me and I sigh as I let him put his arms around my waist "I'm so sorry, y/n". "For what?" I ask. He frowns "Sam and Dean told me how you were while I was... away. I don't ever want you to feel like that and I especially don't want to be the cause of it. Please... no more tears, love". Despite his words, a tear fell down my cheek "Cas, I... I've never felt like that before. I've heard people talking about heartbreak and what it feels like. I thought it was dumb. But losing the one you love... there's no words to describe it. I don't know how to describe how it felt". "Y/n...". "I don't want to lose you again, ever". With his thumbs, he tenderly strokes my cheeks, wiping my tears and his voice softens, gaining my attention "Y/n, you said you love me". I look at him "I did?". He nods, smiling "You did. Did you mean it?". I chuckle "Not right there, but it's true. I do... love you". "I love you too, y/n" He replies, leaning in to kiss me. I sigh, immediately kissing him back. I stood on my tiptoes to wraps my arms around his neck. We had shared many kisses, but none like this. He was always soft and tender and he was, but it was more passionate than usual. After a few minutes, I pulled away and he rested his forehead against mine. I kept my eyes closed for a moment, sighing in content. "Y/n, open your eyes" He whispers. I do as told, looking at him. He smiles softly "I won't ever leave you again". "Do you promise?". He nods "I promise. I don't want to be the cause of your pain. I won't ever hurt you like that again". I moved closer to him, putting my arms around his waist before resting my head on his chest "I know, Cas. It's okay. You're back now, that's all that matters to me". He rubs my arm soothingly "Would you like me to stay with you?". I giggle "You have no choice but to stay with me". He chuckles softly, looking at me "Is that so?". "You have no wings, angel boy. You can't go anywhere if I tie you down". His lips twitched and then he smiled before resting his forehead against mine "That won't be necessary, my love. Even if I had my wings, I wouldn't be going anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere if it isn't with you". I blushed, looking at the floor to avoid his piercing blue gaze "Well, good. I don't know how to tie anyone up". I pulled away from him to climb into bed and I heard him laugh as he followed me.

And just like that, my heart had healed.
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- WS