The truth of it all- Denki Kaminari Angst

24- Help

Hawks pov~

I came crashing into the teachers lounge. Quite literally. 

I flew straight through the open window and straight onto a sofa, face planting into it and flopping my wings out behind me, groaning into the pillow before placing my chin on it to find most of the apparent heroes giving me a very confused look.

I spotted Erasure and picked myself up slightly, propping my head on my hands before giving him a look at my very tired eyes, "I was right when I said I couldn't take care of a kid. And you were right when you said it wasn't your smartest idea." This made the teacher sigh,

"As long as he hasn't destroyed anything I would say he's in the right hands." I snorted at that and sat up, turning my back to him so that he wouldn't be able to see my expression that I was struggling to hold back, and knowing that Erasure was nearly as observant as me he would probably question me as too why I looked sad, empty and understanding at what I said next,

"He- he had a literal breakdown Erasure. He was afraid that once he opened his heart to me, I'd only end up hurting him because that's all he knows. He was crying and shaking and using his quirk on himself and- and I didn't know how to calm him down or- or help him or any- anything! He- he's literally terrified of doing anything and... he's just so scared." I whispered the end and closed my eyes. I took a shaky breath and didn't really care that my wings were drooping. I just wanted to help this kid.

What happened next surprised me though.

I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me and as hard as I tried not to flinch or jump, I failed miserably.

I swallowed and turned my head towards them, effectively nuzzling their head and shoulder,

"I'm sorry to ask you to do this Hawks." Erasure whispered, as he was the one who had hugged me. I fluttered my wings slightly before answering in a quiet yet firm voice,

"I want to help him." Erasure nodded but didn't move away from his behind hug, so I turned my head to face the window, savoring the feeling as while I did have Dabi, I was still extremely touch starved,

"Kinda figured you'd say that." I chuckled and smiled,

"Yeah? How so?" I asked,

"You seem to know a lot about his situation, and I feel like you know how to help him through this." I froze and tensed my body. How- wha- eh? 

Did Erasure know what I had gone through? Or was I so bad at hiding my trauma that he had guessed?

Either answer was bad.

Kaminari pov~

Hawks had left me alone for a few hours, jokingly telling me not to harm anything. 

And now here I was.

And I had broken his one rule.

I sat against the bathroom wall, staring up at the ceiling with my arms lazily hanging off my bent legs, a knife limply hanging from one of them.

I sighed and gave a small smile, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time.

A week clean now down the drain.

I could still feel the stinging and sourness of my wrists, but I embraced the pain, it was the only thing that was keeping me grounded. Plus I deserved that pain.

5 on each arm.

10 in total.

Not to many but they were deeper than usual.

Hawks had said that I was safe here, but he was wrong.

I was never safe from myself.

Todoroki pov~

Kaminari hadn't been in class today.

Not many people seemed to have noticed, and if they did, the teachers would all say the same thing- he was training with Hawks. But I'd seen Hawks in UA just an hour earlier, flying straight into the teachers lounge, and plus, why would Kaminari still be training at 8 o'clock at night?

Now that I thought about it, Kaminari had been really off all week. I mean I'd always noticed how jumpy and skittish he was, I could tell when he was faking his smile some of the time, I could tell he was probably struggling more than usual. Yet I hadn't gone to a teacher. 

Why? 

Because if I told them, they'd ask how I knew, and I couldn't tell anyone that I knew because I had been there. I couldn't tell my teachers about my shitty upbringing and that pathetic excuse for a father.

So I stayed quiet, but vowed to myself that I'd help him in what little ways if I could. 

So when he had that panic attack after being crowded by our class, I gladly created that ice barrier to stop anyone from following him except for Shinsou. I didn't give the insomniac any reason for why I did it and walked straight to my dorm to avoid getting questioned by Aizawa sensei.

So when he had an anxiety attack during the team training drill, I gladly stopped my team mates from attacking him. Even after he knocked them out, I made sure to only engulf him in ice and not harm him. And when the drill was over, I still made sure to stick with him and see if he was alright, deciding to be more of a comforting force rather that a questioning frenzy the rest of our class mates would surely be, and I did't give him any reason for why I did it.

So when he was doubting whether he was good enough to be Hawks student, I gladly gave him a speech on why he deserved it. I told him the truth of my thoughts, surprising both him and the teachers, but once more I gave no one any reason for my actions.

So when he had clearly been struggling over his own thoughts as to whether he should eat or not at some lunch times, I gladly sat with him in a quiet space and just talked to him until he ate at lest a few bites, or merely stayed with him, eating in silence. Of cause my team mates questioned why I did this, but I gave them no reason for my actions.

I wanted to help Kaminari out of this shitty head space he was in currently. I wanted to be there for him instead of him having no one to be there for him like I did.

And if that meant helping him in every way I could until the teachers question me, then so be it.