Ryder is finally cleared to go back to hockey which means it is time to pack up and move to New York. Francesca is thrilled about living with Ryder for the summer and has already made a ton of plans for them. Both want nothing more than a perfect su...
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May 19, 2023
I couldn't sleep last night and normally when I can't sleep I crawl into Ryder's bed and that solves everything but I didn't last night. I wanted one more night in my childhood room even if it left me cranky and tired today.
I squeeze my eyes shut again and pray the exhaustion finally results in a few hours of peaceful sleep instead of the relentless tossing and turning I have experienced since crawling into bed last night. Of course after 20 minutes of laying there with my eyes screwed shut painfully tight, the only thing I have accomplished is adding another 9 things to my to-do list today.
I give up on the sleep and throw my covers to the floor in frustration. I get up and slip on my bunny slippers that my brothers bought me years ago. It was a joke, but I love those stupid slippers, mostly because they came from them. In my christmas pajamas and bunny slippers I shuffle downstairs in search of coffee. If anything is going to keep me going today, it is going to be an endless supply of coffee.
I originally thought I would sit outside, drink my coffee, and be alone with my thoughts but when I open the back door it is still dark outside; so out the window goes that plan. I guess the sun isn't up at 5am, only assholes like me.
My next plan was to sit in the living room but then as I was walking past the stairs to the couch I heard my parents talking. They both took off today to help but in true them fashion they're up at 5am. Those two are the reason I am a morning person, much to Ryder's utter disappointment.
I change course and creep up the stairs. I stop by Joe's old room, turned Ryder's soon to be old room, and smile at the boy sprawled out across the bed with wild hair, sound asleep. He seems even more at peace lately than I have ever seen him before. I think therapy is helping him sort through the things he hadn't figured out how to express yet. Or maybe it is just the fact that things finally seem to be all falling into place for us. Whatever it is, his happiness spreads through me and calms some of the mess up in my head.
I leave him to sleep not wanting to deal with his grumpy cranky attitude today among all the other stress, and continue to my parents room. I can hear the master bathroom shower and the tv so I know I am not disturbing them. I crack the door a little and just peak my head in.
"Good morning princess," my dad greets with a sad smile. He has a black book in his lap that he keeps running his fingers over.
"Morning daddy," I reply as I slip into the room and crawl across the bed to his side. He takes my coffee and sets it on the bedside table before lifting his covers so I can curl up next to him. I waste no time getting comfortable next to my dad, just like I did when I was a baby.
I look down at the black book in his lap and instantly recognize it as my baby book. "I was terrified the day you were born," my dad confesses quietly as he flips the page back to the very first pictures in the book. They are all from the day I was born. My mom and dad look exhausted, my mom's 29 hour labor with me should have been a sign of what was to come, but their happiness is evident even while tired.
