My 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 (YEONGYU/BEOMJUN)

3

yeonjun notices the air shift when beomgyu gets back to the dorm one night. as usual, beomgyu was out partying with his other friends, even though soobin had strictly asked him not to. poor leader, no one really paid any heed to his instructions anyway. yeonjun is already in his room for the night, having no work out of it.

he hears the door of the dorm open with a creak, and he knows who's home. he doesn't pay much mind to it. even though yeonjun and beomgyu live together, yeonjun seems to be forgetting what beomgyu looks like day by day. it's like a saddening realisation that has hit him- beomgyu isn't ever going back to how they were before. he's never going to appear in his room in the middle of the night and beg yeonjun to spoon him.

yeonjun lays dead in bed, brain running a thousand thoughts per minute. everyone in the dorm is already asleep, he assumes, given it was three past something am. everyone but yeonjun. and now, everyone but yeonjun and beomgyu. his brain tells him - it's the perfect timing, go talk it out with beomgyu! , but his heart refuses. he cannot bear to look at one more of beomgyu's dull expression that he suddenly seems to wear the second yeonjun makes an appearance. it physically hurts him to see the love of his life detesting his presence around him. so yeonjun avoids. but for how much longer?

yeonjun turns his back towards the door and now rests on his left side. he brings his legs closer to his chest, embracing his loneliness. he knows this will affect his schedule tomorrow, but he feels drunk at the thought of beomgyu hating him. what had changed between them? what was different a few months ago than it is now? is it him? yeonjun desperately tries, every day, to think of even one instance when he thinks that he might've even slightly angered beomgyu with any of his jokes. he knows, beomgyu can turn sensitive to even the silliest of jokes. and so he thinks- but he finds no traces of hopefully reasoned departure of beomgyu from his life. if anything, yeonjun would like to think, they were getting more close. they were the closest they'd ever been in their six years of friendship. and now, they're the farthest apart.

yeonjun hears another creaking sound, but this time he doesn't have the liberty to gasp or make a physical reaction. he knows that the door to his room just opened. and everyone is sleeping which means-

beomgyu's feet make little noise on the wooden flooring of yeonjun's room. he sees a figure asleep- facing his back to the door. beomgyu cannot catch a single glimpse of his hyung. his sigh resonates in the silent room. beomgyu walks in slowly, as if not to wake up his sleeping hyung.

yeonjun hyung. beomgyu thinks, as he sits down on the cold part of the bed, which is now empty. a few months ago, beomgyu would be the one sleeping here, next to yeonjun. not anymore, he observes. yeonjun takes only minimal space on the bed.

yeonjun, on the other hand- fights every cell of his body which urges him to just, trap beomgyu and cuddle him to death. this was the closest they had been in weeks, and yeonjun didn't want to let go now. he laid on the bed, stiff as ever, pretending to be in a deep slumber. he feels beomgyu's intense gaze on him. he feels a light hand in his hair, and then feels the bed come up slightly. he's leaving. his brain tells him. stop him, yeonjun!

but yeonjun cannot seem to stop beomgyu. he feels helpless, as beomgyu tip toes out of his room. emptiness fills the room once again. but why now? why when yeonjun wasn't even looking? was something bothering beomgyu at this hour? beomgyu usually couldn't sleep alone, was he having trouble sleeping? did he have a bad day?

so many questions- and yeonjun couldn't ask him a single one. he just watches as beomgyu slips out of his reach once again and he hears the door to his room shut. yeonjun can finally breathe again, once beomgyu is gone. but can he really? with that empty aching in his heart?

be still my heart. yeonjun instructs himself harshly. you've got a tight schedule tomorrow.

yeonjun attempts to get a peaceful sleep in the mere three-four hours he can.

instead, his mind is just clouded with the thought of a particular pretty boy.